My sister's in love with a married man. How should I discourage her?

Answer 1

It all depends on what kind of person your sister is. If she's stubborn and uncaring, I'm afraid nothing you say will change her mind. But if she's a reasonable person, ask her what she will do when she's married and she finds out her husband is cheating on her. Ask her how sure she is that this man isn't just using her. And does she honestly think if she gets him to marry her one day, that he won't cheat on her too? Thats more than often the case any way. And maybe you know some or other man you can introduce her to? Someone attractive, nice and unmarried? Sometimes it's pure loniless that force people to have affairs with married people.

Answer 2

Just leave her alone, if you try to discourage her she will get messed up more than before. It is her life after all, all you can do is give her advice and that is if she asks you for one, if not - it is non of your business.
I'm not saying it is good to go out with a married man, but in some cases it is not as wrong as society takes it. Do you think that if man got married and then found out that he made a mistake he doesn't have right to live and be happy any more?
Only think I advice you to tell her:
Tell her to talk with him, explain to him that everything (their relation) is wrong as long as he is married and they should stop seeing each other at this stage, if in future he decides to divorce they can meet again. Tell her that this way she will find out whether or not his feeling for her are true. If he starts to say stupid stuff like - I can't get divorce because don't want to hurt my children or something like that, that means he is just having fun. Than tell your sister - does she want to be "fun" for somebody, is that what she thinks she deserves from live.

P.S. I have younger sister too and I have always been caring for her too much just before this summer. This summer I had some problems in my family, she stood by me and gave me advices that I couldn't have came to myself. So that is when I understood that she is not little baby anymore, she is women and has right to make her own mistakes and even have her own tears.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

Those usually never work out. the man just missing something at home he's not getting from the wife and your sister fits the bill well for him. she will be the one ending up getting hurt.

Also she shouldn't mess with a married man she wouldn't want that to happen to her guy one day. So tell her these two things. I doubt she will care about the latter one or she wouldn't be in this relationship to begin with.

good luck

Answer 4

Dont discourage her. Let her make her own decisons. Just be there for her as a friend and do not judge her for her actions. I have been there and having someone try to tell you it is wrong does not work. It is something she needs to work out for herself. The more everyone tells her it is wrong the more she will want to do it. Be there as a frined and listen if she nees someone to talk to. She will realize in time what she needs to do. You may not agree with her actions but just be there for her because if/when it ends she will need you more than ever.
As I said I have beeen in this situation before and have spent alot of time crying. My friends tried to discourage my behavior and it only made me want him more because he was listening to what I was saying--I felt my frineds were not there for me and that hurt just the same. I do not have any regrets because I needed to bethe one to decide to end it. I do still love him and it still hurts but time heals all wounds.

Answer 5

Tell her he's already taken! A married man that acts on his feelings for another woman, outside his marriage is a man that cannot be trusted and is being very selfish, in my opinion. They never leave their wives for the girlfriend, and if by some one in a million chance he does, he will leave you to, and resent you for helping to break up his marriage. Tell her that the cure for loving a married man, is to start hanging around the single ones.

Answer 6

Explain to her the consequences that may cause her and bf in the aftermath of their relationship. The possibility of being broken heart if not taken seriously by this married bf. Who knows he is using your sister for his fantacies, fun, or other sexual appetite and later on junked? Who will be the loser if someday, their relationship will bore fruit of unwanted pregnancy? Simply it's your sister because she is the Girl?
Another scenario is if wife of his married bf found out later and the worst situatiuon will become inevitable for possible immoral charges in the court. It is also immoral in the eyes of God.
Just convince her that finding and waiting for a bachelor without string attached is the one she is deserving. Well, there are a lot of boys out there, just accompany your sister to hang-up with them.

Answer 7

Let her know your opinion, then mind your own business. You and I know she will just get hurt. She is an adult and has made a poor choice in her life. A very bad choice.

Married men rarely leave their wives. And if they do that relationship that they left for rarely ever surrives. I am afraid she will have to learn this on her own.

I surely wouldn't hang out with him.

You can share this quote with her.....write it down so she can keep it at hand....
"If he cheats with you, he WILL cheat on you"

Answer 8

Tell her she's wrong and if you feel she's a threat to the man, let him know, unless he already does and if he doesn't care then let his wife know so that she can prepare herself for any possible "attacks" on her marriage.
Hopefully it won't get that far.

She needs to get her mind off of him and refocus herself on other things. She must realize that he is GONE and OFF LIMITS and that there is NO HOPE of ever being with this guy.

Answer 9

I was in that situation for 2 years. I wasted many tears over this man. Even when I knew it was wrong, and even when all my friends told me to lose him, I just couldn't let go. Therapy didn't even help. The best solution for me was to move away. That helped a great deal.

If she continues in this affair, she could hurt herself, his family, your family and others. Tell her that by staying in this relationship, Mr. Right could come along, and she wouldn't notice, because she was involved with Mr. Wrong.

Answer 10

You should mind your own business and make it a policy not to cover for them to be together.
She's your sister and when he kicks her to the curb, which is certain, she will need you to be there for her without judgement.
Just let her go and when she hits bottom, pick her up and be the bigger person and DO NOT SAY "I told you so"! Comfort her with her broken heart. That's what sisters do.