What is YOUR secret to a successful marriage?

Question

I am curious for those of you who are married...and are HAPPY...what is your secret? Something you do...something you don't do?

Answer 1

All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There is the initial dating and courtship and infatuation period. If the relationship continues, it settles into a more stable time of building a history as a couple.

If children enter the picture, that is a new phase. Later, there is another phase of being together as a mature couple with the wisdom of experience.

We all know that it is possible to keep passion, romance, excitement and sexual intensity alive through the years, but we also know that many relationships settle into a kind of friendly (or not so friendly) roommate situation. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, but there are tools that can keep passion perking right along. Here are 10 of them:

1. Be kind - I’m writing this while waiting at the airport and it’s fascinating to watch people grouch at their spouses, then turn around and share a friendly smile with a stranger. We tend to take family and best friends for granted. A smile, a wink, just a moment of kindness goes a long way.

2. Be attentive - Paying attention to the details of life is important. Pick up your own trash, and pick up for each other. Put things away, help each other with the small projects around the house. These things are the currency of love.

3. Be gracious - Small surprises can create huge rewards in a relationship. Taking a moment to put on a clean shirt before dinner, or using the good china, or cutting a flower from the garden and putting it on the table, are examples. All these things add color, spice, and graciousness to our lives.

4. Be patient - We all have bad days. It happens. When it happens to your spouse, be smart! Take the kids to the park for an hour, order Chinese take-out for dinner. Give him/her a break! This is the reality of life. Allow for it.

5. Be honest - Tell the truth about your feelings, and do it promptly and in a respectful, effective way. Share your disappointments and fears, but also share dreams, hopes, and gratitude's. Keeping secrets kills passion.

6. Be funny - Life seems to have supply its own stress and worry, but we have to provide the humor on our own. Share a joke, take time to tickle each other or rent a funny movie, and do it often. The couple that laughs together, often does other fun stuff together, too!

7. Be flexible - Over a lifetime, people change. Hopefully, your relationship will change and grow and mature with as you change. One of you will change careers, the other will change religions. One will have an illness, the other will make a mistake. Relationships either bend and flex with the winds of life, or they break.

8. Be generous - I’ve saved the best for last. After a survey of dozens of couples, the big 3 items that showed up over and over began with "give little gifts". Surprise each other with flowers, candy, a card, or other gift. Do it often. Do it for no particular reason. Do it because you love each other and thought it would be nice to show it with a gift.

9. Be available - The second of the "big 3" was "take time for each other". Schedule time to walk and talk, go for drives in the country, go to dinner and see a movie together. Dozens of couples ranked time together as the most critical component in keeping romance and passion alive.

10. Be physical - This is about sensuality perhaps more than sexuality. Couples talked about the importance of scents, of candles and flowers and walks on the beach. They talked about making love, but mostly they talked about back rubs and holding hands, and creating memories.

They talked about getting dressed up and going out, and they talked about skinny-dipping. They talked about being playful and finding their own way. You can do this!

Someone has said, "Life is what happens while you were making other plans." Romance is about real life, not about dreams and fantasies of the perfect partner. Romance and passion are about taking time to enjoy the company of the person you love. Like the old song says, "Love and marriage... you can't have one without the other." Keep your relationship strong, romantic and built to last. Have fun. Do it today!
Good Luck>r

Answer 2

I have been with my partner for 6-1/2 wonderful years. Our cardinal rule: NEVER GO TO BED MAD OR UPSET. We always resolve anything big or small before going to sleep EVERY DAY. We talk about everything and never leave anything bottled up. Even if she talks to me in a sharp tone, I let her know it bothered me and of course, she apologizes for not realizing she did it and vice versa (because I have done the same). Even though our relationship isn't "traditional", we are still two people venturing through life together and sharing the experiences along the way. Another tip: THE LITTLE THINGS REALLY DO MATTER! Even if it's a love note or a favorite home-cooked meal when it's not expected, the little things do make the world go 'round. This all may be cheesy, but it's what has kept our relationship going and will continue on 'til death do us part! And I don't care who you are, but changing the monotony in the bedroom always helps! But, if you're truly happy, that's considered an incentive instead of an issue!
One last tip: HONESTY IS KEY!!! If you truly love someone, there will be no room for deceit.
Good luck with your love of your life and I hope this helped! :)

Answer 3

Marriage is a life shared. You make a full promise to another person, that you will nurse them in sickness, be there in health and in the Better or the Worse. You are not just you anymore, you are US. Never marry a guy you couldn't trust to take care of your dog. When you love someone, it doesn't mean they won't hurt you, but it does mean that you will need to work with what you've got and not look outside the marriage for something 'Better'. The only thing one really needs to know if they want to STAY married, is; Marriage takes commitment! A Commitment to STAYING married! At some point all married couples will ask themselves if it's time to get a divorce, but that doesn't mean they get one. Some feel the only reason to get a divorce is in the case of abuse; Verbal or physical, upon you or your children. Everyone has their limits, but when marrying for love, it seems you will have a greater chance to stay married, for the long run.

Answer 4

1. Be a friend. Friendship is the foundation for relationships. By being there in good times and in bad, you solidify your union better as an ally than by being an adversary.

2. Be honest. Express your feelings openly - even if they are uncomfortable or painful to disclose. How else are they to KNOW what you are feeling or going through without communicating?

3. Keep romance in your lives. I am not necessarily speaking about SEX (and that is usually a result of romance - smile) but I am talking about keeping the emotional warmth (sparks) going by being attentive, caring and sharing with your partner.

Just DO FOR each other what you'd like to RECEIVE FROM each other - ALWAYS.

Before you know it, YEARS will have passed - but for your hearts, it will seem like SECONDS.

Thanks for writing, my friend. Happiness & Good Luck to both of you!

Answer 5

Well Fab, it is alot of things actually. Some biggies and some small things you do for one another. But you do them because they make you feel good too. I just asked my husband this question and he says, "The woman is always right." Another words, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Smile Seriously though it is Love, communication and forgiveness. I guess the old man knows what he is talking about after all he asked me to marry him again this December and we will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary then. Smile

Answer 6

Hi,,, hmm ,, sometimes people get lucky the 1st go round,, and then there are the rest of us sinners that are divorced and spoiled goods,, lol....

Keep trying and try to get along is the best advice i can give someone... I dont think that there is such a thing as perfect but ,, i do have a few that have reamained together ...

good luck

Answer 7

Just listen to your wife, enough though you know she wrong, you can cry in bed later. Always have a pen in hand, because you never know when you may need to sign a cheque or a bill for her shopping.

If she look ugly in some dress or her *** look like a grand canon, just said that it look so hot that it like summer is on the way. Most importantly her cooking, always try to eat everything even if it taste like hell, that is why most guy have a dog-dog can tolerate any disgusting food.

Never argue with her, because at anytime you can lose everything.

Answer 8

I think that the secret is to communicate, compromise, and to work at it! It's really hard to be in a relationship. No one has a perfect relationship! Good luck!

Answer 9

There is no secret, Just love, trust and excitment. Just live each day as it comes.

Answer 10

Really good communication, agreeing to disagree, similar sex drives, respect, trust, agreeing on the IMPORTANT things (as opposed to the trivial things re: agreeing to disagree), compromise, oh, and love!