my husband wants a divorce after 23years. I have 4 kids 2 teenagers and the oldest just moved into a apartmen

Question

he works 3rd shift.hes never at home at night and i hardly see him during the day there hasnt been no intimate relationship for awhile he wont talk to me and blames me for the finanicial problems. He says hes grown apart.hes44 years old. How can he break up our family and hurt all of us do i have to agree to a divorce.what can happen to me.

Answer 1

Its natural for you to feel this way and what will happen to you. And no he doesn't need your permission, same as if you had decided. Look hard cold facts here you were both not living a marriage you even said he's never home and during the day you didin't see him and no intimate relationship this shouldn't have come as a shock to you. Humans have needs and wants I know your need is the kids and a roof over your head and money in the bank but he's more than a bank machine . He too needs something and he wasnt' getting it. Sorry to say but this marriage was over a long time ago. You should now start thinking of your own happiness and future and let him find his happiness you only go around once. Why would you both want to stay in a loveless marriage it wouldn't be good for either of you. I know some women dont' need a lot of sex and as long as the man brings home the bacon there happy. But for the man he's not. So its time to move on and let him find his happiness just as you will .

And what will happen to you . well you will become more independent go out and get a job and pull up your boot straps your starting a new chapter in your life. You can do this. Happens every day.

Sorry for your marriage but if people arn't happy why stay in a loveless marriage.

good luck

Answer 2

Well if you have not worked and still have kids at home under the age of 18, then he will pay child support till they do turn 18. He can also be responsible for paying you alimony if you have not worked. Either way he will have to pay, and you may have to go on welfare. There are other things available to you being a single mother, such as programs that will pay for you to go to school and learn a trade or get a degree. So though you may think your life is ending, Sweetie it is just beginning for the better. Just try to do your best not to drag him through the dirt by calling him names in front of the kids. The kids will look up to you more if you respect their Dad. Hard as it may be, it is best for the kids.

Answer 3

ok... at the beginning, breathe. one way or yet another, you would be effective. That mentioned, I truthfully have a disclaimer: Boys are dumb. Any male decrease than the age of 30 is a 'boy'. Heck many adult males decrease than 40 are nonetheless emotionally a 'boy'. i'm a guy, i'm 24, and that i'm saying this out of honesty. maximum everybody is emotional retards. sure, retards. We get into circumstances that we're not arranged for, and then we comprehend it and decide to back out. If i grew to become into conversing to him, i could tell him to guy up because of the fact marriage is extreme corporation, and he made a actual dedication, he took an oath. And if he won't be able to shop to his oath because of the fact it have been given too extreme, he isn't a guy, he's a malicious software.... consistent with hazard that sounds only like a drill sergeant, even though this is the fact. My suggestion for you nevertheless, is distinctive: If he needs to pass, there isn't lots you're able to do approximately it. he's going to be the place he should be, whether it ability he's a valueless dirtbag for it, you won't be able to make him stay. and that i think badly for you being in that place. attempt some kindness, whilst he does something solid, thank him. attempt to pay interest to how lots stress and intensity you place on him. bear in innovations that adult males are approximately ten years at the back of gals on adulthood. He would besides be you at age 13. if he's to stick around, you should ease up somewhat on him. provide him something beneficial to think of approximately, make his day a sprint birghter on celebration, and remind him that at a similar time as infants and family contributors could be problematic artwork, there are certainly payoffs. i in my opinion desire which you reside mutually, and that it incredibly works out for you the two. If not, I desire you capability. appropriate of success!

Answer 4

You hurt worse being STUCK in this relationship. You're more frightened at the changes of being single again, and that's perfectly understandable. And yes: you have legal rights a good attorney should ensure you receive--and I'd seek them NOT as a punitive measure against the "growing" hubby; get them for care of your children.

You don't say if you're working. If you aren't, I'd look into finding something you can do. The job market for women is pretty good as compared the same for men. With a little focused effort, you should do fine findng a good job you're happy with.

And after time, when your heart is ready, there's the new world of single dating life: much of it has changed, but just as much remains the same, too. I think in time, you'll find this to be a new and fun time, just generously season a good measure of common sense in this area of life.

Women, guardians of our moral life, will also stick together--angry at the "growing hubby"; something I don't think really serves any positive purpose other than to exclaim "Get an attorney and STICK IT TO HIM!!! Then make a voodoo doll of this lousy husband---and drive nails right where it hurts him!!!"

Always be of mind it's your "growing hubby's " loss--not yours!!

Answer 5

i think u'll did pretty well for the past 23 yrs what seems to b the problem now..if u feel u dont deserve to b with him nemore..n ur life can b better without him....i think ur children will surely understand since they are quite grown up..there is no use staying with a person for the rest of ur life when u noe he cant keep u happy....
on the otherhand u tell me he works in the night..its all for him family that he is doing...ppl tend to get irritable n frustrated when they dont get a good nights sleep...in this situation u have to b understanding n caring...n he will realise there is nobody better than u for him in the world ..
i have the feeling everything will b alryte
take care n good luck

Answer 6

Honey, in the nicest way possible, if he has asked you for a divorce he has given up on the family and you. I'm sure he's considered all of these things because divorce is a huge step. Talk it over, see what the problems are. If you are determined to try and save the marriage go to marital counseling WITH him (go together). I wish you the best of luck and I hope things with your son improves.

Answer 7

Let him go. He's already found someone else. That's the translation of "grown apart".
Pick yourself up and get on with your own life and be successful and happy.
What can happen to you? You can wallow or you can decide that you finally get to have an independant life to do as you please. You can make yourself a future, with or without a man.
You can pull yourself up and refuse to let him mentally and emotionally destroy you. You deserve better. He's cheating on you anyway. Do you really want him?

Answer 8

Based on your description, I'm sure you have grown apart. I don't thik you have a choice in stopping him from divorcing you if he chooses, but the laws vary from state to state. In a "no fault" state he deifinately can. In other states he may have to give a reason. Check with an attorney or your library probaly has helpful info.

Answer 9

this type of communication or lack of is whats wrong with everyone parting ways, look you both need to sit down and talk everything over, his problems are what you see and may be just what he wants you to see, ha she ever asked you how you feel? communication is the key to any relationship, why does it all way take this type of experience to bring two to see that communication or lack of will bring down the strongest wall. it's never to late to start the rebuilding of a relationship, sit down with him and let him see that you are truly invested into your relationship and your willing to work on it, if at that time he wants nothing to do with it you've got your answer and it's time to move on, prior to parting ways sit down with him and work out the miner things like child custody, child support, house hold items, etc. this may open his eyes and when he sees that the end is here he may come clean with what he really wants out of this relationship. either way you two need to be adults about everything here and work together what ever the out come will be.

Answer 10

Not enough information to make a judgement call. But, I DID notice that you spoke about what HE does and how HE'S never home and that HE'S breaking up the family with his decision...what is it YOU do, or think or want???