after marriage...do love & marriage have any connection ??

Question

I got married coz i was in love....i am married but i'm not in love...i'm jus there..is this only a case with me..or does this jus happed to everyone...

Answer 1

This is the biggest thing that will destroy a marriage...the false expectation that you will always be in love with your hubby. Be prepared because this will happen with anyone you marry, and anyone who says it won't is lying. Of coarse you love him, but there will be times in a marriage when you don't feel connected at all. My hubby has been a night shift worker all our time together (14yrs). We have two kids and sometimes I just think it would be easier without him. I do everything on my own anyhow... but when you feel like this... step back, take a deep breath and realize where he is at in life too. When I get so mad at the fact that everything drops in my lap, I have to remember that he has the whole weight of our family on his too. He provides incredibly well for us and has so much on his mind all the time that it never occurs to him that I might feel a lil lonely. It doesn't mean we don't love each other. Drop him notes saying you love him, smile at him more often, that along will bring back love for you. Marriage is damn hard. You have two people that are trying to do what they think they need to do and the other is always left feeling short handed. No marriage to any man will be 100% bliss all the time. Men are doer's and women are stewer's. Men are so busy doing or thinking about doing that they don't always get the big picture at home. Women, even if they work, have their minds on their homelife most of the time and we stew on that. Then we expect the guy to know that he is falling short - he hasn't had time!
I know it is hard. But marriage is something worth working for. You say you were in love, I would be willing to bet you still are. You just have to key into it. Think of all he does for you... make an effort WITHOUT expecting reciprocation. I gaurantee he will catch on. And be prepared for it to happen again. Marriage is for life, you can't expect a fairytale to last for 60 yrs. lol, Notice how all the fairytales, the men don't work so they have all this time to be romantic -and they never have bills to pay or kids to feed... They never show prince charming after the wedding, lol.
Trust me, I have totally been there. But stepping back, I can see how much he loves me and I know this is just how it is for now. It always gets better.
Good Luck... give it a chance.

Answer 2

Marriage has lots of ups and downs. It's totally normal--though often painful and confusing-- to have those times when we wonder why we're staying in a marriage at all.

You don;t say how long you've been together or what is going on, but unless you;re truly unhappy, you might want to try to see what you can do to perk things up. In my experience (22 years with the same man), sex is the thing that has gotten us through rough times in our relationship. Even if we can;t talk things out as honestly as I'd like, lovemaking is a way we can be close and treat one another well. I know that many people would disagree with me about this, but for us, sex is the one thing that we can turn to when everything else if going to hell.

Now after so many years, our son has gone off to college, and my husband and I are rediscovering what is was that made us want to be together in the first place. It's great. But we've also had times in the past when we barely spoke to each other.

My advice to you is to hang int here until you're sure about your feelings. Sometimes the day-to-dayness of life runs over the romantic ideas of what love is.

I'd try to rekindle that flame before making any serious decisions.

Best wishes to you, whatever you decide is best for your life....

Answer 3

That depends on your definition of love and how committed you are to making the marriage successful. No, after marriage every day is not like a romance novel...life gets in the way. If you both make each other the most important person in your world and take care of each other and try to keep the relationship fresh and fun and loving then you will have a happy marriage. Best blessings.

Answer 4

Happens to a lot of people. You're not alone. Love is an emotional feeling and caring. Marriage is a man-made institution with legal parameters. The two don't always mix. Half of all marriages end in divorce the other half are like you, then there are those luck few where it really works.

Answer 5

I don't know how long you have been married I have only been married for 4 yrs so maybe I am just not to that point yet but I feel like I love my husband more now than I use too. He knows me better now and does things that mean more to me. Plus when I see him with our kids it's amazing to see him as a father!! But I think we all have those spells. Maybe you just need to spice things up a little bit. Do you guys go out much? Plan a special get away to rekindle that old spark :) Best of luck

Answer 6

I don't think that there is such a correlation where you can have only one or the other. It is possible to have both with the right person. However, in terms of legal aspects and the ideas of some of our current political leaders, the sanctity of marriage seems to only be a union between man and woman. There is nothing to this union (including love) other than the fact that it's there, which I think is just really sad. Anyway, I hope that you will find your love again.
-xdannifenx

Answer 7

No, this does not happen to everyone and is not a common occurance in a marriage.
Most people who get married are in love and stay that way forever, sometimes going through periods of rough times, but they will always love their partner.
If you do not love the guy you are married to, it might be possible you married to fast and was more in lust than love.
By all means, if there is no love, do not stay.be honest with him and be fair..
Move on so he has the chance to be with a woman who will love him forever and so you can find the same with the right man...
I have seen a few people I know go through this, and it always ends worse when there is no honesty and they stay together just for the simple fact they got married. People can only live together, miserable for so long, before one or both of them do something drastic and cause hatred mong them forever..

Answer 8

Love that you describe is more the "fuzzy" feeling, the lust, the twinkle eyes .......Love is more than that. Love is commitment, love is being there when your partner needs you, Love is when you are mad at each other but pull your self together to make up, when we are sad about something your partner does and forgive your spouse, Love is communication..... Love need to be nurtured. When you don't work on it it goes away. You both need to work on it. Marriage and love is a commitment. a commitment to each other, that you are partners through thick and thin. And that you will fight and defend for each other.
It is not easy......that's why there are so many seperations...divorces.....Only if you both are committed ,then your marriage will have a chance.

Good Luck

Answer 9

Love marriage with the aid of fact there is extra love in the area. In arranged marriages you'll be able to desire to not love the guy and could nevertheless could desire to marry him by making use of stress. Love marriage is a determination that permit's me %. who i think of i admire. arranged does not provide me a actual possibility to fall in love.

Answer 10

I think it happens to everyone, I think only way to put everything back where it was is to break up for a while and then try to fall in love again , but unfortunately haven't tried that yet - guess I'm scared to do that experiment with two kids in my family.
Good Luck!