How do I stop being annoying to others?

Question

I am a college student, and I have a bad history of being annoying in HS and younger; however I thought I have improved greatly. Recently, a friend was very blunt with me, telling me that more than half of the campus can't stand me, that I'm so annoying, that I ask too many questions, I can be rude to others, and that I try too hard to fit in. However, I see myself as a nice person, and I try very hard to be sensitive to others' needs. I'll admit I do ask many questions - but I didn't realize I was that bad. What she said really hurts, and I have tried so hard over the years to improve myself, but I seem to have failed, and I feel like I'm at a dead end. I have lost many of my friends lately and I just feel so lost. Any suggestions on how to lessen being annoying, and make good friends? Any good conversation topics? I have been from hell to back, and I just want to be happy and have a good / best friend, but I haven't been able to achieve that yet.

Thanks. I really appreciate it. :)

Answer 1

From what I can decipher from your writing, you seem like a well-spoken, educated, sympathetic individual. Though you seem to care greatly about what this 'friend' thinks, she doesn't seem to care that much about your feelings. 'Bluntly' exclaiming that half the school dislikes you is a gross exaggeration and extremely rude. Try to distance yourself from her as she isn’t offering constructive support.

I think everyone on this earth can be annoying at times. Improving yourself is great, but try not to be too hard on yourself! I'm in college too, and I find that it's hard to make close, lasting friendships. Don't be discouraged. Try joining clubs that interest you. There, you'll find other people with similar interests, and that makes it really easy to talk to them. You could also do an on-campus work-study where you interact with all kinds college people.

But if you still think you want more social help, try the self-help section at any large bookstore. There are tons of information out there. Believe me, you're not the only one who has troubles about this kind of stuff; I know all too well but this kind of stress.

As for a personal suggestion, I tend to imitate people I admire. I note how they act or react in particular situations and I end up trying it myself. I, also, do "small talk". Just by asking general questions like ("what are you majoring in" or "own any pets") I try to find their interests and look interested at the same time.

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

Stop Being Annoying

Answer 3

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How do I stop being annoying to others?
I am a college student, and I have a bad history of being annoying in HS and younger; however I thought I have improved greatly. Recently, a friend was very blunt with me, telling me that more than half of the campus can't stand me, that I'm so annoying, that I ask too many questions, I can...

Answer 4

Listen more than you speak.

Let people talk about themselves (it's everyone's favorite topic, usually).

For you specifically, I would suggest "word fasting." Go a day without speaking. Let a few people know you're doing this and I'm sure they will have fun trying to get you to talk -- which will improve you in their eyes.

Here's a dirty trick that really works. Get people to do a favor -- not more than one -- for you. Psychologically, people always think more highly of someone they have done a favor for, all other aspects being equal.

I think you would actually have to be a nice person to be hurt by and concerned about this.

Then there are just the general things to do that so many people do not.

Apologize as soon as you can for any transgression. Thank people for any help.

Allow other people to go first.

Help people pick things up.

Help people for no apparent reason.

Answer 5

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This is when you should read carefully of the Body Language, Face Expressions & Age Group while you talk to the person. I tend to go freely & be myself & I don't care if they don't like what I have to say because if they don't like it then they can leave the room. After all, it wasn't my intention to offend anybody or forcing my ideas down their throat. It's a free country. There are a lot of sensitive subjects of course, such as rape, murder, racism, your own view of religious believes and much more which I tend to keep to myself unless if the person I was talking to actually knows me deep down as a person & therefore I can trust him/her to not judge me or get annoyed with me.

Answer 6

I know that I'm annoying; I talk too much & say whatever comes to mind. I have been trying to change but it is difficult. Don't pay attention to the guy who tells you not to change. We can't improve if we don't try to change things which need improvement.

If it matters to you that others don't want your company, then you have to make an effort to change yourself into the person you want to be.

In my case, I figure I have to shut my mouth & when I remember to do that, I'm afraid people will think I'm boring & without personality. Someday I hope to get it right. Maybe it all comes down to having good manners.

Answer 7

Be yourself ....stop trying too hard...learn to listen in conversations to figure out what you need to know instead of asking a million questions...think about the other person instead of always thinking about what you need. Sometimes respect can be shown quietly.

Answer 8

There is no need to conform because some people cannot grasp your energetic personality. You sound like a total great guy! My advice is to hell with them, don't change.

Answer 9

Be quick to listen and slow to speak.
Weigh your words carefully.
Don't try and force being funny, cool, or anything else.

Answer 10

Go to the book store. Get a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Read it. Then read it again. Then read it again. Keep reading it until you can quote it chapter and verse.

It will change your life.

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