Does saying sorry to your husband makes you look sick?

Question

I have a wonderful husband, he doesn't have any problem with me neither do I have any with him. Being brought up in a partially disfunctional family, I'm pretty resistant and argumentative and sometimes feel very disturbed emotionally. I'm very direct and yes, sometimes rude. I'm very reactive and react suddenly. I just find out a reason to argue with my husband and try hurting him for any minor mistake, and after that I usually say I'm not gonna stay with you any longer because you are not suitable for me etc". Then the next day I feel guilty of hurting him (even if he's hurt me in return) and I apologize and we start a normal life again.
My concern is, will he take me seriously, if I continue doing this? How can I maintain a more balanced behavior?
This is happening quiet often, we're fighting for no reason, which is affecting our marriage. We have no kids. But I love him and fight with him bothers me more than anything in the world.
How can I have more control over my behavior?

Answer 1

You MUST figure out why your REALLY angry and fix it. You probably have a pattern of doing this in relationships. I know I did. Something underneath has truly hurt your feelings. You must Learn to be 100% honest. You have to tell him when you are mad and work it out on an adult level. I was able to pinpoint mine to abandonment issues. I was cold towards people. I pushed them away. You have to realize that one day he will be fed up with your crying wolf and let you leave. Love is such a great thing. Appreciate what the two of you have.

Answer 2

So in other words you two are having fights over nothing important at all? Well these so called "nothing" fights are what's going to eventually destroy your marriage if you don't get a hold of the reasons why you're having these fights to begin with.

All couples argue. I do it with my husband too but it's usually over something major and when we argue, we try not to hurt and scream at each other. We sit down and discuss it like two grown-ups (which is what we are). The goal is to resolve the issue that comes up, not make up one just so we can fight about it. Saying sorry to your husband (or wife) doesn't make you weak, and if you are the one starting the fight then it's only right that you should be the one to apologize for it. Butttttt.......why start a fight in the first place if it isn't really something important? I think in this case, prevention is better than the cure.

Answer 3

I as well grew up in a dysfunctional house hold, and I kind of brung my behavior into ny relationship. But I have also find myself apologizing every time my husband and I have an arguement. Sometimes stubborn as I am I find them to be very argumentive. What I learned to do is stop, take a breathe and listen. Sometimes may husband can be in the wrong, but I will complimize with him. and maybe it's because your husband do not argue back, all that is picking a fight, because you guys dont find anything wrong with each other.

Answer 4

I go through the same thing every day with my husband it is sad when the fight is over all the hate full things that came out of my mouth to the person that loves me and respects me i came from a very dysfunctional home as well and sadly that is what we were tough we have children and treat my children very differently from my husband i hug them and kiss them and i don't do that with my husband i ignore him and yell at him even if he left his shoes out he usually never says anything but one day he did and it hurt he told me that he could not take my mood swings anymore i decide to get help and started seeing a doctor he told me we are survivors and this makes us afraid to trust and let down our guard down and pretty much everything we feared when we were small some how stuck and we became the abusers not physically but mentally and word hurt so much more than anything coming from the people we love he put me on mood stabilizers i am not perfect but it helps we go to therapy and learn how to adjust to each other also stay away from stress that is your number one enemy.

Answer 5

Honestly, I am not trying to be mean, but you should seek psychological help. These people here can not help you. You are probably a normally good person, but your temper flares at times. I know what that's like. Eventually your husband will get fed up with this behavior, so see if your insurance covers a psychologist. I hope you will take me seriously especially if you have children, or plan to have them soon.

Answer 6

welll good you realize your problem and what the cause of it is. and yes this will effect your husband one day if not already althought you both make up he will continue to think of what you said later in the day.

You need to go to thearapy and find out why you have to blurt out mean and cruel things to him . something from your chiildhood is still bothering you and you take it out on him when you fight or pick a fight .

Good luck and have a good marriage but get this resolved soon

Answer 7

You need to go to counseling and learn a healthy way to resolve your anger. It sounds to me like you have a lot of pent up anger and you are picking fights with your husband to let some of it out. Eventually he will get tired of living like that and leave you. Nobody likes being treated like a doormat and all of us have a breaking point where we just give up trying. If you truly love your husband tell this to him and yes, APOLOGIZE!!!! Then seek the help you need. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Either read some good books about helping yourself, thinking more positive and destressing your life e.g. "Don't sweat the small stuff" or Dr. Phil's books or get some counselling. Your behaviour is affecting your marriage and you're hurting the person that you love...this is not how it should be...and you'll only end up hurting yourself too. So do yourself a favour and get help.

Answer 9

hmmm... try just trusting. it's that simple. trust in him and remember that your love more important that whatever it is you want to argue about. the first times, it will take concentration, the next few times your just gunna have to remind yourself about it. after a while, the thought of fighting with him will not even enter your head because you have made a habit of envoking a fealing of love rather that confrontation. :) give it time and remember that you love him. it's gunna work out if you keep your love first priority, i promise.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are the only one saying you are sorry. If it is always you apologizing maybe you should take a look around and see if there are any greener pastures about.............