Did it affect your sex life because
a) she was not proud of her body
b) you were turned off by her body
c) both
2006-11-13 16:42:24 · 16 answers · asked by Stephanie S 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not a trick question. I am curious what men think about it... because personally I would feel betrayed if my partner gained a lot of weight and didn't take it off. I personally admire someone who takes care of themselves because if they are the most precious person to you, then you want them to be healthy and happy, and if they gain a lot of weight they are not taking care of the person most important to you, which is themselves.
2006-11-13 16:49:24 · update #1
When my wife had our first child she returned to her normal figure, when she had our second child she gained about 35 lbs and kept about 10 lbs of the weight, after our third child was born she not only gained during the pregnancy, she gained after too. After three kids and the stress of being a stay at home mom I think that she has just given up... like she is not a woman anymore, just a mom. Our sex is non existent, the demands of parenting are partly to blame but the big thing is that she no longer feels sexy... so in turn she does not think that I find her attractive either. I have tried to be constructive and we do walk and exercise together... we bought a treadmill and a life-cycle... but I can not control what she eats during the day when I am at work... it is hard but we are working on it... I am in love with her and am still attracted to her, but it is not the same anymore.
2006-11-13 17:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm woman, mother of two
I gained 60lbs during my two pregnancies and let me tell you it felt terrible, I hated to look in the mirror, hated to try on my old clothes because I felt how much I have changed and I hated my body, my husband was supportive, he always told me it didn't matter for him but we women do know that it matters so don't ask man!
I lost all extra pounds and now (the elder child is 3, little one 1.5 years old) I'm in shape and feel great. My husband looks at me like we just met and can't wait to get in bed every night - so trust me it does matter for man how you look.
and one more thing - weight is not only problem after having children, women start to forget they have to take care of themselves - put makeup, buy new clothes, they think that if they are good moms it's enough for their husbands to be happy. Don't do that, take care of yourself, even if have to take some time and leave some rooms in your house messy, you will feel more confident when you look good and your married life will be better.
2006-11-14 00:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a large issue indeed. Weight is a big issue for me. My wife should ose about 15 pounds right now and she knows this. I have not told her this but she is working on it. I have gained maybe 5 pounds in 15 years and work out 3x/week. This is a health issue and yes an appearance issue. Why would anyone want a fat spouse? I am not talking about a few extra pounds. I am talking about if you ask your Dr. and he says you are at an unhealthy weight.
2006-11-14 05:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you. It isn't fair when someone doesn't take care of their self for their mate. I know I'm not the skinniest person in the world, but I'm not fat and I am going to keep it that way! I would never disrespect my husband's needs and get fat. How embarrassing for him to be seen with a fat wife! That is horrible for any man to go through! Or any wife! It all comes down to laziness. (But there are medical reasons, but even then people need to still watch what they eat.) It is the cause of many break-ups that I have seen. It's bad that the one cheated, but it's just as bad for the other to driver their mate to cheat because of the way they look. If you don't take care of yourself, you don't have any consideration for your mate's needs and desires! That is that! No "if's" "and's" or huge lazy "butt's"!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-14 01:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gained a lot of weight and he didn't even seem to notice. He has always been very supportive and even goes jogging with me whenever I ask. I was very hard on myself, and he just kept telling me I was beautiful and he will always love me. But my husband is exceptional.
2006-11-13 16:54:15 · answer #5 · answered by toothfairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm struggling with this right now. She's beautiful and now her breasts are these incredible, gorgeous DDs, but I miss her little waist and her femininity that came with being slender/normal sized. I don't enjoy climbing up on her anymore, so we don't have sex that often (she's on antidepressants, as well, which take away her sex drive) except when she teases me and feeds me her big breasts and I masturbate. I miss holding her and just screwing her, though. It's not easy when she's as big as she is now (around 200 lbs I believe). She does suck me just as good as she ever did, of course, but I miss her little body. Of course I love her as much as I ever did. Love isn't about our bodies, although I do love her extra large breasts and gorgeous nipples now! :-)
2006-11-13 16:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy...but I really need to see what answers you got for this question......lol The only way I can do that is by answering.
And I hope most men say they love her for her personality.
2006-11-13 16:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by neff_crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be honest. I can tell you words like , I love her soul and I don't care about her body etc.... All that is not true. Its very hard to see a flower and not to like it. And its harder to see something that is not so beautiful and keep convincing yourself that it is beautiful. You may be able to do it for some period of time but not forever.
2006-11-13 17:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by tom c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love my wife for what she is not what she looks like. I wouldn't mind if she was the Hunchback of Notre Dame or Frankenstein's monster....what matters is who she is and what a wonderful heart she has full of love.
2006-11-13 17:32:14 · answer #9 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely they will be turned off by her fat body, but they can't tell them that can they? They have to encourage each other to lose weight.
2006-11-14 02:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋