child custody please help me?

Question

ok my husband and I are divorcing. We have a 4 year old daughter. The father moved to GA and I live in VA. The father gets her everyother weekend from Friday till Sunday everyother Thanksgiving for 4 days every Christmas day till January 1st then a week in June and a week in July. I only agreed to one week for Christmas everyother year but he gets her every year. I told my lawyer I would let him make up his lost week in a different month but she didn't change it. How can I change this and if I do change it do you think the judge will look at me bad? My daughter hates going now and dreads everyother weekend with him....His parents come and get our daughter and over half the time he does not spend with her. Help me please!!!!

My daughter was seeing his side of the family till Septemeber then we went to court and the judge ordered her to not go back till October...

Also I have never once tried to stop her from having his family in her live. I get along great with his family but he has an anger management problem. Which his parents know well about. I have been admitted in the hospital over it and he curses our daughter it is recorded....not only cursing her but also me for informing him of doctor appointments, family outtings, things like that.

Answer 1

HOney, if it's in the divorce decree that he's only suppose to get her one week every other year, then enforce it by simply refusing him that visitation. It's well within your right. As far as your daughter not wanting to go...that's a little different, only because your daughter is only four. At this age, it's very important that she maintains her relationship with that side of her family. Rather than baby her when she complains about not wanting to go, get her excited in some way shape or form. If she sees your being supportive of her time with grandma and grandpa, then she's going to be okay with it in time.

Now, if the ex is truly not spending any time with her during these visitations, you do have the right to go back into court to modify the visitation arrangement and you can do this without an attorney and file it pro-se. Since you already have custody, it shouldn't be that hard if he doesn't contest it. Or if you simply talk to him about it and tell him your dilema, he may understand and just decide to take your daughter once a month until he becomes less dependent upon his parents and can spend some more quality time with your daughter. As a social worker, I see this alot and most of the times, the parents can agree that the arrangement set up by the court doesn't work for them and they are willing to alter it without even having to drag each other back into court. Try discussing this with him first. If he's adament about keeping the current visitation, then stick to your guns about the every OTHER year when it comes to xmas. And be patient, this isn't going to be this way forever. Your litle girl is going to grow up faster than you can imagine and before you know it, she'll start voicing her own opinion about what she wants and doesn't want. Right now though, in all honesty, unless something funny is giong on that you are suspicious of, it's imperative, in the court's eyes that she maintains that relationship with her father. I wish I had a better solution for you, but there are no easy answer when it comes to child custody. It pretty much depends on how well the parents are willing to work together in the best interest of the child rather than their own selfish wants and needs. Try talking to him honey, and then if he agrees, great...if not, follow that visitation to a "T" and if he violates it, haul him into court for contempt (free to file). I wish you luck

Answer 2

There is not any such factor as a navy divorce. All divorces are civil issues. Having mentioned that, the volume of baby help is situated on earnings. If there's a court docket order in position that states how so much baby help he must pay, then that is what he demands to pay. The handiest method he would petition the courts to decrease the volume is that if his instances modified and he all of a sudden began making vastly much less cash. As for sending more cash at any time when his ex asks for it, he isn't obligated to do this and he's correctly a idiot to take action.

Answer 3

Your daughter is 4 and already "hates" going to see her own father/grandparents!!! Wow you have a big problem.
Your statement about you not wanting the judge looking on you as being "bad" is another indication about this whole situation.
This is the deal mom...the more people your daugther has in her life that love her the better for her.. and this is all about her.. not you. She is not a daughter.

Answer 4

I am sorry but he did father the child and his parents care about her also. It is hard to go through this type of thing but that is what divorce does to relationships. My son is divorced and works long hard periods at a time where he cannot always see his child, so my husband and I take her as he as well as we want her to know this side of the family cares! I love her dearly and I love her mom also, but they chose to divorce, our daughter in law is very nice about the situation as she knows we love their child very much, she understands our sons situation and the fact that we all want their child to know us, and identify with the fact that we all love her. As she has gotten older there are times she is busy and has a game or a sleep over so we call and talk to her a long time or go to her game when her dad can't go. It is called family. One of you or both of you chose to divorce and this is the outcome, sharing!

Answer 5

You need to talk to your lawyer about this and not strangers who don't know the personal situation.

Remember that how you feel about the whole thing will affect how your daughter feels about it. if she feels you getting negative vibes about her dad time, she will start being negative about it.

Try to stay positive. Don't let her catch on that you don't like the current arrangement. It's not fair to make her suffer for you guy's problems.

Answer 6

In order to create a new shared parenting agreement you will need to file another petition for a new court date to ammend the current agreement. Of course, you will need to pay attorney's fees, etc, etc. You will need to pay to have your husband served as well (which is not that expensive, I think it's less then $40). In your petition you will need to explain to the judge you reason for filing to get the previous order ammended. Good luck!