my boyfriend is has been having issues withis dad lately. the other day he hit my boyfirneds dog with a shovel, no my bf has to possibly get rid of his dog. so he said if his dad ever hit his dog again :he would be sorry" my bf said he would kick his dad's a ss. he has also been physically abused by him dad all through is life till a few years ago. (from getting his wiht a belt to getting punched in the face cause hisdad found ou he was dating me...=\) i tried to tell him no to beat up his dad and how its immature and will not solve anything, will only make problmes worse....i dont know how to talk to him about it. i wish i could talk to him about it but he doesnt like me. my boyfirend also lives with his mom and a younger brother...
i dontknow how to talk to him about it, as it will only get him in more trouble than he needs to be in right now..
he is 18 and i am 19, i wish we could move out and take the dog wiht us but its too expensive to live out on our own.
2006-11-13 16:30:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
how do i talk to him?
i know this is somewhat silly but im worried about him. or what could happen to both of them
what can i do to redirect his anger besides get him a punching bag or something??? =\
2006-11-13 16:32:00 · update #1
he has an 7 months old german shephard. everyone in the family loves the dog but his dad...
2006-11-13 16:32:45 · update #2
im fine with my mom, hes fine with his mom, his dad is away most off the time at work. we both have jobs. and are in our second year of college full time. he works sometimesover 40 hours a week and i usually work 20 hours. it costs to much to move out. 1000+ for rent, gas, bills, insurance, car payments, food, utilities, yeah right! lol
we live int he s.f. bay area, california...... that explains it.....too freakin expensive to do anything out here =(
2006-11-13 16:37:18 · update #3
very good point jare bare!....
2006-11-13 16:38:41 · update #4
my boyfirend is not an abusive nor contorlling person we've been together for 2 years and he's never hit me or anything...
2006-11-13 16:40:09 · update #5
my bf is a very caring and gentle person. he just hates his dad for all the things he's done to him. he has never physically or verbally abused me in our 2 years. ive known him for 4 years
2006-11-13 16:42:41 · update #6
Sounds like making plans to get the hell away from dad as quickly as possible is important. IF your bf will do it, college student life offices usually offer free counseling services where he can blow off some verbal steam and get some advice to help deal with his dad (who sounds like a complete piece of work). You can also call local animal welfare organizations because it's absolute cruelty what he's doing to the dog and the dog desserves love and respect, just as you both do. To leave the dog near the dad is cruel and inhumane. I understand that losing the dog would be devastating, but please love the dog and do what it takes to get him away from the abusive father.
The best thing to do is to get away from this father as quickly as possible. You are absolutely right in that instigating a physical fight with him will probably only make things worse. I can understand and appreciate how expensive it is to live where you are. Having lived all over the country, I can tell you that there are other wonderful (less expensive) places to live where you can have your freedom and safety.
Best of luck to you. Realize that each of you chooses what you're choosing for a reason and you can ALWAYS at any time make a different choice. Please, please, please look out for the interests of the pup. He doesn't deserve the abuse.
2006-11-14 05:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by writerchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well unfortunetly i think that he is going to have to stand up to his dad. His dad has been walking all over him his whole life and he is finally sick of it and is going to do something about it. He could go to jail, but it would be for a domestic and maybe assault, but nothing to major. Also if him and his dad do get into a fight then it will most likely show his dad that his time has come and he needs to grow up and stop abusing animals and people. I HATE people like that, and if i were in your bf shoes me and my dad would have already slugged it out. My dad hit me once, i hit him back harder than he hit me. That happened only once and now, were just fine, he dosent yell any more he doesnt get real angry any more. That one hit, one person standing up to him that one time and he got the point. Now were just fine. So how ever stupid it may seem, this might actually be the best way, just for them to slug it out. Cousling could help yea, but only if they both want to change. That usually doesnt happen. So once again, i suggest they have a slug fest in the front yard. Then after its all done the respect will dished out to the proper person.
2006-11-13 16:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Don A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm honey, Dad's got some serious issues and if you don't get yourselves out of that environment, it's going to spill into your own lives. You are both adults...yes moving out is expensive, but if you have enough determination, get two jobs, find a one room apt, etc....you do what you have to do. I hate to say this and not sound mean, but hon, you are both at the age where you have a choice and coming on here venting isnt' making your situation any better. We can't give you advice that is going to cure anything. The only solution to this problem is to move out.
2006-11-13 16:37:15 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well..if he is 18 and he gets in a fight with his dad. chances are he is going to jail, and the dog will be gone. Sounds like things at his house are pretty bad. My advice would be to not date this guy. even though in all your wonderfull years of 19 you think you know whats best for you. But, if things continue how they are, you are going to have an abusive relationship, out a lot of money, scared to date again, and maybe end up in court like judge judy. save yourself the time and money and go to college.
2006-11-13 16:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying that he necessarily should hit him but he did hit a defenceless dog..listen I'm not one for violence but sum times the only way to get respect is to show that hes not goin to let his dad walk all over him and in my opinion the only way this is goin to be solved is if they fight he has to show hi dad hes a man just like moose the fight antler to antler to determine who is the superior pone an that's wut his dad needs now a little taste of his own medicine
2006-11-13 16:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by kt B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best friend was killed by his father while i was in the 3rd grade. it would be unbareable to know that someone like that man is out there and no one is doing anything! seriously, if you cant just leave, i know how hard that would be, tell an official person, the police, something. violence is just that, violent. stop him before it get out of hand. let me know how this turns out. i would hate to think that it all ended in an act of uncontrolled retribution. you can write me at dangoman_1 if you want.
2006-11-13 17:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just live with relatives for now until u save up enough money to get a place of your own.
2006-11-13 16:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get into counseling and maybe some anger management classes. Nothing good could come from beating up his dad. It will only lower your b/f to his dad's level.
2006-11-13 16:35:29 · answer #8 · answered by jare bare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure, call the police - previously a clean beating heavily injures, or probable kills your boyfriend. observe: specially circumstances people who're bodily overwhelmed will proceed the prepare.
2016-10-22 01:27:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE NOW-you are in an unsafe situation & his anger can turn on you, GO NOW, good luck.
2006-11-13 16:35:07 · answer #10 · answered by jyone scotani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋