am i over my divorce please help I need everyone who can to a least give me a little advice?

Question

i was just divoriced in aug of this year i move to a new state and meet someone before they were final. now i am missing my X thinking about the things he said it wasall my idea to leave him and all i think abot now is him and what we would be doing togeter we were married 4 years and dated 3 so that is a long time to be with someone that person really knows you and you are comfortable and you have a past with them we had are problems most of them my fault but all i can think about is when we used to sleep late on saterdays and just lye in bed talking or when we would watch tv and get drunk watching movies and the way he held me at night that safe warm feeling i had been friends with that man since i was 11 and he is gone and i feel like i am jumping to the next stable rock to keep myself above water so that i dont sikn in to my own thought of why did i leave and is this a growing expeience or my selfishness to try new things does that mean i lost the love of life

Answer 1

I realize that every situation is different. For me, I was with my ex for 6 years. It was my decision to file for a divorce; and a very difficult one at that. I was very fortunate in that I had my family every step of the way. Without their unwavering support, I would not have made it.

I will tell you that it is very natural to think of all the good times you and he had together and there will be times that you wonder if divorce was the best thing. Chances are it was for the best. Humans persevere and survive on instinct. The best thing I would suggest is to learn from this experience; regret nothing you've done. No matter how much you may wish you could change what has all ready happened, you can't. Take this time to get to know yourself again. Once you know what you really want, then you'll know what will make YOU happy. That's all that matters.

I hope this helps!!

Answer 2

its natural to find the good things now that yu are divorced and away from him. to be lonely for someone u were with for so long. but you must have had problems, severe enough to get a divorce over and my advice is to also think about those things that happened that werent so good, write them down in a journal, be very detailed down to exactly what happened, why and how it mad you feel. if you got into a fight, how did he talk to you, how did he treat you, think back over the reasons you wanted to leave him. i would say concentrate on yourself instead of jumping into a relationship because you may find yourself in something that sucks, work on you, what makes you happy, school, work, friends, etc. take a month, then see how you feel.

Answer 3

WOW? It's hard isn't it? I sincerely sympathize with you hun. It doesn't get much tougher than coming to the realization that, no matter what, you will never share the bond that you shared with with him.

I'm not suprised, at all, that many of the people here are dismissing your thoughts and concerns completely. Don't listen to them! Your thoughts are normal and completely valid.

No one here has the right to answer your question. You have to answer it. You need to ask yourself: If you were over your divorce, would you be on here asking this question?

I hope that helps you make the right decision.

Answer 4

It is always hard to end any relationship especially one life you described, but obviosuly now that you are lonely you miss all the good times, but here must have been some bad times because you chose to leave, if you really feel like it was your fault what makes you think it will be different when or if you go back. you may just be lonely go on with your life because there must have be something not fulfiling in your relationship

Answer 5

"I hurt all the time because I feel alone and abandoned."

"My husband is no longer my friend."

"The only time he pays attention to me is when he wants sex."

"He is never there for me when I need him the most."

"When he hurts my feelings he doesn't apologize."

"He lives his life as if we weren't married; he rarely considers me."

"We're like ships passing in the night, he goes his way and I go mine."

"My husband has become a stranger to me, I don't even know who he is anymore."

"He doesn't show any interest in me or what I do."

These are normal complaints from wives and reasons for divorce, but you seem to have none, it seems that you have for reasons best known to you, have ruined a good marriage.

Most women play a huge part in DRIVING MEN AWAY from perfectly good relationships. Of course, if you are one of the women who does this, you usually have little or no idea that you're doing this. In fact, you're COMPLETELY UNCONSCIOUS of your part in pushing a man away because you're too busy thinking that all your words, emotions, and actions are supposed to be bringing a man closer to you. And you behave in subtle ways that, little by little, push the man farther and farther away.

One of the most common ways that women do this is by constantly identifying MISTAKES a man is making, or ways that a man makes them UNHAPPY, and pointing these out all the time, over and over, without prompting or warning. Think for a minute about what this makes a man THINK and FEEL about you, your relationship, and about himself.

Take time and think of the mistakes made and (you may try reconsiling) maybe learn from them and not repeat them again.

Good Luck>r

Answer 6

You're only thinking of all the good times. That is very normal. You need to be realistic and think of the lousy times as well.....And the reasons that you wanted the divorce in the first place.

Answer 7

you should ask yourself why did you leave and if leaving is for the best in the long run this is something that really only you can answer for yourself follow your heart and you will know the answer but no matter what dont wait till its to late to do something about it.

Answer 8

not at all...but you should go back to school and start a new life for yourself....take up spelling...please