husband wants baby?

Question

hello everyone.i need some good advice from you all.
me and my husband has been married 2yrs and things were a little rocky at first but things have gotten better so far.i was a high school drop out,but i managed to get back in school and now next year i'm going to school to be a veterinarian assistant.but in between all that my husband wants me to stay at home while i'm in school and start working on having babies.i don't wanna mess things up for me that i have going good.i don't know how i would be able to go to school and deal with being pregnant and taking care of the baby by myself while he works 12 or 14 hours a day.he says i'm being mean because i don't wanna give him what he wants.i've been threw alot growing up and now i wanna make things better for me and my husband,but am i being mean by saying that we should wait till i finish school? i think it would be a great ideal if we wait even though we are finacially fit to have one.what do you think would be best?

Answer 1

there is no way you are being mean, are you kidding me? girlfriend, i admire you for wanting to make a better life for you and your family, and your husband should respect that, i think he is afraid he will loose you, and wants a baby so he will have that tie, so to speak, you continue what your doing, he'll finally stop bugging you about it, and when the time is right for a baby, you will know it, but dont do it just to make him happy, do it for the both of you, remember your the one whos gonna have to put your life on hold for it, not your husband.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought, and I commend you. It is much easier to bring a baby into a marriage once financial stability has been reached. Having a baby and very little money at the same time can put more stress on your marriage. Keep talking about it with him and let him know that you aren't completely against having a baby; just not right now. If he really needs convincing, show him just how much a baby costs daily...diapers, clothing, baby equipment (furniture, bottles, etc). Compare that to the money you would have available if you decided to start now. Once it's down on paper, it makes it easier to see what the impact would be.

Answer 3

Husband wants baby?

Answer 4

What year is this? Don't let anyone ever convince that what you feel or know is wrong for you is right, ever ok? Cause until he can carry the baby for nine months, hemmoroids, stretch marks, swollen ankles, constant doctor visits oh make sure to tell him just how thorough those doctor visits are, backaches, high blood pressure, hormonal episodes etc, tell him until then you are going to finish your education so that you can be the mom you want to be when you do have kids. Also your husband sounds kinda controlling so i would be getting the shot or some form of birth control he can't nullify thereby "accidently get you pregnant". Trust me a friend of mine, guy, got to be a father after he and his girlfriend decided to wait to have kids, she later confessed to poking holes in the condoms with a sewing needle and flushing her birth control pills down the toilet. Protect yourself because in the long run you and only you will be responsible for your children, don't have them until you are ready the greatest gift to a child is to be totally wanted and loved. Good Luck

Answer 5

You guys are young and you have plenty of time to start a family. Continue your goals in life as a woman you want stability in your life and to know where you are in life whether you have a man or not. Let me tell you from experience, follow your goals and dreams if you don't you will regret and you will hate him for it. If he is not on the same page as you on this maybe he is not all that understanding and maybe he wants you bare foot and pregnant and he maybe insecure. But you go on and complete your goals and the best luck to you woman to woman. One more thing having a baby takes two to tangle, if he work an 12-14 hr work day. Will you have any time to yourself (NO) will you have time for your relationship(NO). so give him some questions to answer before he goes off wanting to have a baby so soon, just because he feels his life is complete that does not mean yours our. Tell him to stop being selfish, you are not being mean to him you're being realistic don't worry.

Answer 6

I was in the same position as you..married two years, very rocky relationship, he wanted baby, I didn't...I finally conceded to show him I loved him...and he never helped for a moment...started staying out all the time, never coming home...that was his way of confining me to the house, because once the baby was there, I was going to do by him the very best I could...my marriage finally crumbled, I was seeking divorce, then he passed away...I felt terrible and still do, wishing things could have been different...but I have a wonderful son, that I wouldn't trade for absolutely anything, he is everything to me....I was 30 when I had him...but as for advice for you...if you want to go to school, I strongly urge you to do it...you are not being mean...just focused, you have plenty of time to make this decision...

Answer 7

Don't put off school to have a baby. You shouldn't be forced into having a child. Children are a lifelong responsibility and your husband will just have to get over your decision. Its only a few more years anyway.

Answer 8

Your relationship is the most important thing to be stable before bubs- school is too, especially if you do the baby thing then he marches off because your relationship wasn't 100% prepared for bubba. He needs to be mature about this and ypou need to remember that his position is head of the house. Try airing your fears...maybe he's just worried that he'll be an old parent- my husband was; we communicated then compromised....we have sweet bub and stable homelife-don't be afraid to let him know too that times he is home is special...introduce baby and there goes any semblence of privacy for the two of you-you can't give himm 100%attentiion when baby is screaming. But remember; if you are holding out and putting career first because you're worried you may have to support yourself------is your relationship secure? It really sounds like it's too early for pregnancy.

Answer 9

Marriage is about compromise, not "What YOU want" or "What I want"! It is about "What WE want" and "What works best for US". If your husband is trying to make you feel guilty about a decision that he has made on his own w/out consulting you (such as you having a baby) then he is a very slefish man. He is not in your marriage alone, there are two people involved, and it does not seem that he recognizes that based on what you have written. Also, if your marriage was rock for the first couple of years, you may want to wait AT LEAST another year before having children together. You are still learning and enjoying eachother, it will not hurt anyone to wait another year or two before bringing another major responsibility such as a child into the home. Good luck!

Answer 10

Well, for someone who jumped into a marriage and a baby....I would tell you to go with your gut feelings....If I had to do it over again, I'd go back to college and work on the career that I wanted before I got married. Now I'm in a career, which I do love, but it wasn't my first choice and it came about, because of my marriage and my baby. How's that working for you? By the way, I'm on the road to divorce and my son no longer lives with me, so what do I have now? Better go with that gut feeling.....