I posted a while back about my mom seeing this guy much younger than her (he's 27) soon after my dad passed away. It's now been three months since my dad died and I have recently received information from other members of the family about this guy. I live 600 miles away so I'm not as involved with my mom's life. Anyway, I guess they say he is violent, drunk, controlling, and using all of my mom's inheritance from my dad's insurance policy. He is also listed on Megan's Law website for molestation of a child and just got out of prison May of this year for this charge.
My mom will not listen. She has admited to having sex with him (and broke down crying) and of being frightened by him on some occasions, but says that he isn't drinking anymore, and that people can change. She refuses to admit she gives him money and keeps lying to me. Even if I can't do anything for her (which I can't, she is screaming and cussing everyone out and won't talk to my sis now), what can I do for myself?
2006-11-13 15:57:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Spyder X : You already realize, that your mom is in a very abusive relationship with this ex con, who is intent on behaving like he is still in the slammer. Spyder .. my heart goes out to you for your very trying situation. You are wise to now, focus on your own life and future apart from "Guy Smiley" and your mother. If you are finished high School, think about working and saving for College or University. You are the one, who has to get on with it and produce a good quality life for yourself. Your mother has rebounded into a toxic relationship with a con-artist, who knows how and where to manipulate the situation concerning the loss of your father. Once the money runs out and he gets tired of the sex ... this relationship will dissipate. Your mother is going to learn a very harsh lesson about making proper choices for herself. Spyder .. seek out counselling for yourself from a guidance counsellor, teacher, church pastor or a psychologist - save your own, sanity. Good luck to you.
2006-11-13 16:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd go talk to a counselor. They can't fix your Mom's problem by you going but maybe they can help you deal with it a little bit better. If he's violent and your family knows it why don't they call the police when he gets that way. Also if he is a child molester have some check to make sure he's registered, if not they can throw him back in jail.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful and that you and your Mom are going through this.
2006-11-14 00:03:47 · answer #2 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is obviously dealing with emotional issues, and perhpas feelings of abandonment (from your father's death). It seems as though she will do anything not do be alone at this time, including allowing this low-life to abuse and take advantage of her. Although it will seem difficult, there may not be much that you can do at this time. She may have to grieve and act out during this period in her life, and go through the changes that she is going through in order to get past it. Trust me, one day she will look back and see the mistakes that she has made, and she will be grateful for the support that her family gave her through all of this. Just don't turn your backs on her, be there for her if things hit rock bottom, and then help her to pick up the pieces again. That's really all you can do! Good luck!
2006-11-14 00:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear about your dad- your mom has issues- and I wish she would go for grief counseling- usually free and there are groups for that- she is to desperate for attention-and if she is frightened by him- and feels threatened- she can get a free restraining order on him- and if breaks parole- which I assume he has- straight back to jail he goes- you take care of you- and don't bring any kids to her house for him- he probably has orders to stay away from kids- some even have orders not to drink-his records may be public- call and find out law- and if she has kids around report him-I have never heard of a reformed child molester- take care --D
2006-11-14 00:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It must be very hard for you not being close and hearing all of these things, i can sort of relate even though i live in the same city as my mother we barely talk. My mother though has decided to start using drugs, and in result has lost custody of her younger children and communication with my older sister. I try to help but she ignores me. What i have tried to do for me is just live life and try not to think to much about her, because from what your saying it seems that you and other family members have tried to help her and she is rejecting them. The best thing is to move on but never forget. Live for you and you only. I made the mistake of moving back from where i was going to school to be close and too help but it has all been thrown in my face. I wish you good luck and i hope everything works out for the best!!!!!
2006-11-14 00:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jack Daniels 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most counties have a APS, Adult Protective Services unit which works alot like Child Protective Services. You can file a anonymous report that she is in danger and they will do an investigation and take appropiate action. At the very least, she will know someone is very concerned about her and they are aware of the situation of living with this piece of dodo.
2006-11-14 00:10:36 · answer #6 · answered by Outside the box 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mum is traumatised and needs help. Take her a phsych before she does something really dumb. You also need to think if the family membre who gave you the info is acting out of spite and has any ulterior motived or if they may just be lying.
2006-11-14 00:53:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he is living near a school or is around children he is breaking the law. your mom need to get out of that relationship. fir your mom to be dating that soon maybe she was seen him when your dad was alive.. your mom is grown and you can't make her do anything that she don't want to do. all you can do is talk to her and tell her that you don't like it. maybe she will come around. good luck
2006-11-14 00:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can just be in control of your life....let her learn the hard way. If nothing else comes good of this situation, learn from her mistakes. But love her no matter what decision she makes. She is your mom.
2006-11-14 00:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let Mom know how much you love her and that
you will be there for her if she needs you .
Find a way to protect yourself emotionaly .
2006-11-14 00:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋