Ok this ones tough for me. My fiance and I just bought a house and her mom won't leave us alone. She calls her all the time and takes up my time with her. She tries to invite herself over to our house. I told her she has no business coming over to our house unless we want her to. Then she got smart and had an atitude with me and said she was just worried about her daughter because she was pregnant and she didn't need to be there alone while im at work. I told her thats what a phones for. My fiance told her some stuff but I think she's scared of hurting her moms feelings. She is not coming to our house as much but how do I get her out of my hair? I know she's getting on my fiance's nerves and it makes me stressed and its like it feels like its tearing us apart. My fiance told her we don't need people coming over all the time. she tries to plan things to take my fiance out and go hang out every weekend and thats just too much. I told her to back off and I don't know what else to do.
2006-11-13 14:38:40 · 7 answers · asked by Matthew C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
no offense, but you sound a little jealous. you should get used to her mom being around because i am sure she will be until the day she dies. your fiance needs to be the one to tell her. just go about it politely, say something like "mom i love you, but so&so and i need time alone. please respect our privacy and call before you come over." i am sure she will understand if its coming from her daughter. coming from you it probably seems like you are trying to tear them apart. just dont be annoyed when she does show up because moms will be moms. good luck!
2006-11-13 14:46:15 · answer #1 · answered by jasam4ever08 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like mom might be having a rough time being alone. Is she married? Anyway, you guys need to have a face to face sit down talk. Keep in mind that if you want to spend the rest of your life with your fiance, your going to have to spend the rest of her natural life with your future mother in law. This is family life bud, and some mom's can't let go, so I would suggest telling her how you feel, hearing what she has to say, and finding a happy medium.
2006-11-13 23:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by bigwheeler19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY what you mean! I used to live about an hour away from my mother in law with my finacee and they still came around all the time or worse yet guilted my partner into going around there all the time. To make matters worse my phone bills were sky high! In 30 days 278 local phone calls from my house to theirs, thats just from my house! They were calling us 3 times that amount and then they couldn't afford to pay their phone bill and were borrowing money off me through guilting my partner and she was giving it to them without me knowing! I know live 30 hours on a train or 8 hours on a plane away. My phone bills are still really bad and so is theirs however I refuse to lend them any cash. This is 5 years later by the way, and the calls are interstate.
My advice to you is to sit down your mother in law, explain in a non agressive tone (with your partner there backing you up) some rules as to her visiting rights and weekend privileges. You explain to her that the situation is you don't want or need her around all the time, but not totally unwanted as you both feel smothered by her constant presence and that if anything happens she will be the first one you call.
I have had to take in the reigns with my mother in law several times without the aid of my partner. This woman is used to controlling everybody's life in her family and I simply stated that I don't care what she says, I am not going to be manipulated by her and pushed into doing things I or better yet we didn't want to do. She got all narky on me for a while and said that she didn't like me tone in her "I am the mother" way and I laughed and told her that I didn't care if she didn't like my tone, thems my rules in my house! Things have calmed down and she now understands a few things that she didn't before and we get along great now. Just make your stand mate and don't show weakness, those overprotective mothers need to be put in their place early on so they know that you can take care of your own household.
2006-11-13 22:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by hunter_razac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her and explain to her that if she doesn't stop she may run the risk of making her daughter lose the baby because of stress.Or try not answering the phone or door when she shows up until mom gets the message.
2006-11-13 22:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your fiance alone when it comes to the relationship with her mother. Let her decide when she wants to see her. You have probably made an enemy out of your future mother-in-law. It is natural that she wants to be with her daughter when she is pregnant.
2006-11-13 22:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you an idiot and a jerk?Thw woman's daughter is precious to her(as yours will be to you)She means well and care for her daughter.You may have given her cause for concern for her daughter's safety.What dont you want her to know that you are doing to her daughter?
2006-11-13 22:45:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fart enuf she wiil back off
2006-11-13 22:41:45 · answer #7 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋