Question: Who is wrong? Me or My Girlfriend?

Question

My ex had a problem with being faithful in our marriage we have a son together My ex got involved with man for 6 months He was the reason for me to finally loose my love for her. I wasn't expecting to meet another girl nor be involve again However my girlfriend is like my soul-mate she is awesome inside and out! obvious out of respect I divorce my wife which now broke-up with her b/f
she keeps to herself on her emotions but states on still having feelings for me and at this point she isn't ready on meeting my g/f. I now live with my g/f and i have my son 3 days a week, My g/f has a major problem as to why she can't be around with me when i get my son at the ex's house
I feel that i divorce my wife and i live with my g/f should be enough reason to trust me! On the other hand i have compassion
towards my ex's feelings on not yet ready to meet my g/f
Am i wrong? or is my g/f wrong for not having patience?
What is the solution to this problem?

Answer 1

You're a man.

You're always in the wrong, even if you're right.

Don't you know that?

Answer 2

You are right and time will tell. Girlfriends come and go. Stick with your feelings. Doing what you are doing is respectful to both the ex and girl friend. She just doesn't get it. Maybe your ex isn't ready to meet her. Divorce is worse than losing a loved one through death because the one you loved the most has rejected you and continues to live without you. I think you have made the right decision. You and your ex will be linked forever because of your son. Keep the peace. Why would the girl friend be so interested in meeting your ex? That's weird.Have a nice day and don't get dragged into any drama you don't need.

Answer 3

I don't think either of you are necessarily wrong. I think it's sweet of you to respect your ex wife but in your g/f's defense I have to ask...
Are you respecting her because she is your son's mother or because you still have feelings for her. Not being allowed to meet your ex wife is what is making your g/f nervous. Your respect is misplaced in this situation. Your wife was not faithful. She did not respect you or your marriage vows. Your g/f is the woman you are with now and she should be your first priority after your son. You need to respect your g/f's feelings and stop worrying about how your ex wife feels. She made her bed. Let her lie in it. Is she really worth having problems in your new relationship? Are you willing to let your ex wife ruin another relationship for you? Also, you may be divorced and living with your g/f but that doesn't always mean anything. My ex husband is remarried and just had a new baby. We have been divorced since April of 2002. He says he loves his wife but he also says he is still in love with me. He says I am his soul mate and he wants me back. If I left my husband tomorrow he would leave his new family for me. When we were married he cheated over and over. So, the cheating, the divorcing, none of it matters. It doesn't mean there aren't any feelings left. Your g/f is worried that may be the case here. Fortunately for my husband, I have no GOOD feelings left for my ex and luckily for me, he trusts me 100%. I hope you work this out. Take care.

Answer 4

Your girlfriend is wrong. It is essential that you maintain a respectful relationship with your ex wife for the sake of your son. If she does not feel ready to meet your girlfriend, you should humor her simply to be diplomatic. If your girlfriend cannot be understanding of this, the question is, does she really have compassion for your son and respect that your child comes first in your life, or is she just trying to muscle her way in and erase your past? Unfortunately there may not be a solution or compromise. You will need to put your foot down in this and any other problem areas regarding your son, even if it causes problems in your relationship or ends your relationship. Your first priority is to be a good Dad, even if it ticks your girlfriend off. You cannot be a good Dad if you cause drama and hostility at your ex's house when you pick your boy up.

Answer 5

Well, your ex has problems for sure, but I agree with you about your girlfriend being too paranoid. Just based on how you sound here. I could understand if your girlfriend's point of view gives her some other reason to feel uncomfortable about it. But if I know everything she knows, she should cut you some slack for trying to keep peace with your ex and not deliberately do what she has asked you not to do. It's all about your son's sake.

I suggest you talk with your ex and explain that after some time, it will become unreasonable to keep your girlfriend from ever seeing your ex, and while telling her how you understand her feelings, ask her to try to gather her strength and prepare for it. Offer her a time frame, six weeks or six months maybe? and put it to her with your son as the reason - he needs to see his mother be strong about this.

If your girlfriend is still suspicious, consider the possibility that some signal you are sending gives her good reason to be. Having only read your side of the story, I can not speak to this.

Answer 6

I feel your wrong cuz you are divorced and shes part of your life now and your son and EX should see and meet her makes it alot easier on the son. You will always having some kind of feelings and caring for you Ex we all do but usually someone unfaithful will do again. Its time for your girlfriend to meet her both bend and do it. It might not end up as bad as you think I met my husbands EX actually we got along.... good luck!

Answer 7

Your girlfriend is right to feel insecure and worried but she does NOT have the right to try to force you to like completely forget your ex.

Your ex used to be a huge part of your life, you can't just forget all about her especially if she's the mother of your son. The solution is trust and time. If your girlfriend really loves you, she'd trust you because trust is a large component in a relationship.

Hopefully with time, you and your ex can get over the past relationship and become friends.

Answer 8

Your ex should want to meet the new woman in your life because she should know what type of person your child will be dealing with. Being in a relationship is one thing but when a child is involved everyone should know each other, for the child's sake. Obviously you have moved on and your ex wants you back that is why she can't face your new love. They should be introduced.

Answer 9

Your ex-wife should not be forced to see your girlfriend. Yeah, she may have screwed up by screwing around, but that did not mean that she did not care for you....She had her reasons for screwing around on you and you already know the reason. Your ex-wife was probably your soul mate also....Give your wife some time....And if your girlfriend does not trust you being over there alone than she will never trust you.....Just remember it is all about TRUST!!! Solution tinted windows on car so girlfriend can wait on you in the car....:-)

Answer 10

Your girlfriend probably just feels a little insecure knowing your ex still has feelings, and your ex is still trying to get over you, even though she brought this all on herself. Maybe it would make your girlfriend feel better if you let her wait in the car when you picked up your son. or meet her somewhere after you pick him up. I wouldn't let your girlfriend and ex meet until your ex is fully over you, because it could really hurt her, and I'm sure you really wouldn't like that because you two are still ultimatly connected through your son and your past.

Answer 11

I think you should stop shacking up out of wedlock with women and exposing your child to that behavior.
I don't believe your girlfriend should be around because she's not your wife. I wonder if anyone is concerned about being a role model for the kid. So many lovers and boyfriends and girlfriends and the sleeping together/living together going on can't be a good influence.