Dating older men with children.?

Question

Hi there,im new here and just want some advice and to find out if this is experience is common or just happening to me.i had issues with my ex's
family either due to my colour,age,but this is a bit different.i'm going out with an older guy.we live together,we love eachother.he's white,i'm black.he's been married twice,has 4 girls,two from each marriage.his kids dont like me.when they come to visit i make the extra effort to make them happy.i take them shopping,i bake them cakes every time they visit,i got the 15yr old some jewelry cos she just had her belly button pierced and a necklace,christmas presents,i talk and advice them like a sister or friend.It gives me plesure to do all this and i wouldn't do this if i didnt like them.His 15yr old had the guts to call him a Paedophile to his face in my precence(i think thats very rude)because he's with me but the ironic thing is her mother is 20 years younger than him but that doesn't bother them.she's now going out with someone 10years younger than her but that doesn't bother them.
they told him they wont come for christmas or ever again if im still with him unless he leaves me.i dont know what to do cos ive not dated a man with kids before and its putting pressure on us and i dont think he's being supportive and it makes me very unhappy and he knows i have my own problems to deal with.all i want is his support,to present a united front or bond to them,
so they will realise that they cant come between us and to stop giving him ultimatims,or stop dictating to him who,what age or kind of woman he should be dating and mind their own business.
they had to deal with it when he got married to his second wife regardless of what they think of her.his eldest daughter doesn't get on with her mother inlaw but that didnt stop them from getting married and i dont make it my business or judge them so i dont know why they should make our relationship their business or prejudge me.what goes on between us two consenting adults in our home is our business
what do you think i/we can do to solve this situation

Answer 1

I think you very brave to try to work this out, your bf is a very lucky guy. Unfortunately he needs to stand up to his kids and tell them who runs his house. Its their loss if they don't want to come and he should not let them abuse you. You don't mention your age but I'm guessing there is more than a 20 year difference between the 2 of you. My gf and i had a similar problem but she bailed on me and refused to face things. Talk to your bf about how you feel and what problems your having with him not supporting you. If he doesn't respond or refuses to stuck up for you there might not be any hope, but there are lots of nice guys out there who would feel very lucky to have a girl like you i bet. Good luck!!

Answer 2

First of all, your boyfriend needs to take his children to task. Although they may not like you yet, it is no reason why you should be verbally abused by his children. I would think that once they are told too at least show you some respect although maybe not sincere, this would be the start of you building some sort or relationship with these kids.
Try not to buy the kids affections, instead do things with your boyfriend and include them. If kids are having a good time, they are more likely to respond to you. Try to be there friend not another mother and dont be pushy or expect an immediate bonding, let things develop.

Answer 3

i'm a divorce mom with 2 childrens and that i'm relationship somebody older than me that has 3 childrens. he's 40 two and that i'm 27. the youngsters are large and that they love me and my childrens, and we've a sturdy relationship we've been going out for almost a 365 days and its somewhat large. So it relies upon in case you adore him or in case you spot your self with him and his childrens for something of your existence. in case you think of that he could make you happy and which you would be able to have the potential to bypass away along with his childrens then do it if not pass on. there is dissimilar single adult males obtainable, yet some circumstances a individual with adventure is extra valuable. So it merely relies upon on what you prefer and your thoughts for him. i be attentive to that suitable now i don't see my existence with out him, and in case you sense that way approximately him then provide it time, time will tell. I wish you the acceptable and that i wish it works out.

Answer 4

You need to give these kids time to come round to the idea that their dad is with someone else- particularly someone who is nearer to their own age. Kids are not soft these days and buying them things will only be seen by them as a way of trying to be accepted.

I think it best if you make yourself scarce for some time when they come to visit- after all they come to visit their dad, not you. They probably resent not having their dad to themselves. Good luck and be sure to keep sharing your feelings withyour bf.

Answer 5

ive married a man with 3 kids,iv tried my very hardest to accommodate all his family,iv danced to thier every tune but they treat me like i dont exist,iv been with him for 8yrs,he has'nt been on holiday with me for 4yrs but goes every year with his mum,dad and kids,iv spent every xmas on my own whilst he is at his mothers with his kids,every wkend he does things with"his family"and im left at home.I will never be part of this family because i am not of thier blood.Please ,please dont end up having a life like mine.You may wonder why i stay,well,im 53,got osteoathritis,dont work and have a wonderful house and at the end off the day,i just about live on my own,he's never here

Answer 6

hold the phone his 15yr old called him a paedophile very very strong words. is he?
teenager girls are little bitches seems like every one has an axe to grind. every one is bitching not enough talking

Answer 7

Mail me hun [e-mail]