What would you do?

Question

My wife has never cheated on me to my knowledge. I love her dearly. Currently, due to a job promotion, she's in a city 300 miles away. I will join her when our house is sold.

So she calls me and says after work, people (guys and girls) from her office are gong to a bar for drinks. Should I be concerned? What would you do?

I know how I feel, but I'd like perspectives from both guys and girls.

Answer 1

From a professional standpoint there are some general concerns about partying after office hours.
A)Drinking and driving
B) Maintaining a professional, yet friendly demeanor - that means in the office or out of the office. One can hardly be taken seriously if they are "one way" at the office and a bozo "away" from the office. A restaurant might have been a better choice than just out for "drinks." Loose lips sink ships. Some people simply cannot keep their mouths shut when they have a couple or more drinks and the dirt starts flying - that is where it can possibly jeopardize careers. Hopefully, she's a very sensible person and will maintain a certain level of decorum while out.

If your marriage is good, there is very little risk she'll be in the sheets with anyone else.

Maybe next weekend you could pay her a visit and all of you go out for dinner and meet the group.

Answer 2

I'm assuming you have a solid marriage. The fact that she is telling you this means that nothing is happening besides what she is telling you. When I worked in one job, a bunch of us would go drinking after work every Friday --- Every Friday. It went on for years..... It was a great time to talk about our employees, things that used to happen in our place of employment, yadayada. I wasn't attracted to any of the guys in a romantic way, and I'd assume they were not attracted to me, but they were great looking men, and people tell me I am attractive as well. Marriage to this bunch was marriage. And because we all worked closely together we all knew that if any of us got into an affair, it would be all over everywhere. But then, we were a smart bunch too, and didn't wish a scandal, so no one did anything in the way of betraying a marriage. Bottom line? Doubt you have much to worry about, sweetie.

Answer 3

It is my own personal philosophy to trust your partner unquestionably unless they give you a reason to doubt their honesty and sincerity. You do not feel as though she has ever been unfaithful to you thus far, so stick with that. She has a legitimate reason for being separated from you right now, and is obviously devoted enough to call you and let you know of her plans. She is in a strange town with unfamiliar people in a new work setting. I think it is only normal (and necessary) for her to mingle with her co-workers after work for a chance to get to know them better and also for innocent companionship since she is so far away from you or friends. You will feel much more secure once you have been able to join her, but for now you have to trust your wife and your instincts.

Answer 4

this is where the trust in your marriage must come into play..if she has been loyal to you this long she is not going to blow it just because she is 300 miles away... if someone is going to cheat it doesnt matter where they are... your wife is probably just fitting in with the rest of the crowd which is where you should want her to be instead of out alone in a strange city 300 miles away... look deep into your heart and you already know the answer to your question...

Answer 5

Do you trust your wife totally??? Cause if you do you should have nothing to worry about. She probably is filling her time with other people since she doesn't have you there. My husband and I have total trust and he is gone over the road for days, I would never even think about cheating but I do find myself out with friends more to keep me busy cause I don't have him to talk to. As long as she tells you everything then you should think possitive. If she does cross the line while you're away, you'll find out in one way or another.

Answer 6

I don't like it. She's already 300 miles away from you and going out for drinks with people you work with is always risky. It would be nice if she had waited until you got there, then invited you to join them. My husband and I do not go out with people we work with, or even friends. We like to be together and with our families - and I'm really glad about that, as is he. It's just easier and doesn't open that door to trouble.

Answer 7

If she is trustworthy I would not worry about it if you two get together on weekends or everyother weekend- if you can give the keys to a realtor and move in where she is that would be ideal-if you have kids- where she is staying may not be big enough= that would make it more difficult and then you would almost have to wait to sell the house- D

Answer 8

I wouldn't be concerened. She is just being friendly with her new co workers. It is quite common for male and co workers to stop off for a couple of drinks after work, sometimes these are extensions of the work day, or "getting to know you" time. If the tables were turned (YOU stopping off with co workers) Do you think SHE should be concerened? Is that your point, that if it were YOU stopping off with male and female co workers it wouldn't be just for dinks, that there would be something more going on?

Answer 9

It depends on how old you are and how long you've been married. Someone my age wouldn't feel the need to party with my co-workers, but younger people probably don't like going home to an empty apartment. I personally don't think boozing with my work-mates is appropriate, but I'm old fashioned.

Answer 10

my husband goes out for drinks with coworkers all the time. not so much anyone of the opposite sex though. but then he usually invites me all the time. being as you are so far from her, don't worry about it. she told you where she was going to be. how is she with alcohol? is she responsible about it? does it make you feel edgy?

i say don't worry about it. call her once while she is supposed to be out...see if she picks up the phone or calls you back promptly. or call when she says she will be going home. just to make sure she made it home okay.