of alcohol your you? and if so how did it turn out serious and true answers only my marriage depends on this very thing i am about to pop that very question tomorrow.. i know that someone should want help instead of being forced and all that but i dont have time for him to decide that anymore i need to make a move in my life
2006-11-13 13:59:48 · 9 answers · asked by momoftwobestkids 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no he is never abusive yes two teens and i do go to alanon..
2006-11-13 14:05:04 · update #1
well dear I wish you the best and think you are doing the right thing for you and the kids, I gave mine that ultimatum and I even went through the twelve step programs to show I was willing to change as well but in my case she has not agreed to change and we are going through the proceedings of divorce now, and we have a twelve yr. old son. but as like you I cannot live with the dysfunctional life style any longer and detachment is the only way to peace. no matter what please remember " God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" God bless and Good luck to you.oh by the way she still lives in denial and claims she does nothing wrong, we have a 14 yr.history and her comments are that I'm dead to her and we have no relationship after a year of separation.Again I think you are doing the right thing but be prepared for a rocky road, they never make things easy.
2006-11-13 14:54:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, bad news here. I'm sorry. If you have to give him that choice, he's already made that choice. For your own health, get away. See an attorney, and isolate as much of the bank account as you can, because he'll drink it if you don't. My first husband was a drinker, and nothing I could do would change him. I finally left him. He's in a nursing home now...he just wouldn't stop drinking.
2006-11-13 22:02:40 · answer #2 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to school for Drug/Alcohol Counseling studies and I advise you not to say me or the drink just yet, unless you have tried everything first. By saying he has to choose he may feel like you don't WANT to help him. Offer him your support and let him know his drinking is upsetting you, and your family. Counseling (together or separately) can help so much. If all of the above fail, then yes by all means tell him his choices. Good Luck!
2006-11-13 22:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Alyss K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did in my marriage. He drank all the time and I finally gave him an ultimatum. It didn't work, he cheated on me and then I left him. The hardest part of it is.. Are there kids involved?? Is he abusive??? Have you talked to anyone about AL ANON?? Keep your chin up. Alcoholism is a hard addiction to beat. Keep your chin up!
2006-11-13 22:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by Lori C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure did ...like 10 yrs ago and he choose me..and i mean he was gettin drunk alot with his friend after work all the time. i was tired of it..fed up..and i told him i was leavin him if he dient stop..n he did. a yr ago i caught him doin meth and i told him he could get out and never come back bc i wouldnt put up with that at all. and he never did it again.. so hope urs works for u and things turn out the way u want them too. we now just passed our 13th weddin anniversary
2006-11-13 22:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing will make him quit until he decides he wants to. He will either say "so what?" or he will tell you what you want to hear and then hide it from you for as long as he can until you find out. Assume he is as he is, and make your choice.
2006-11-13 22:05:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gave my husband that choice 6 yrs ago. He picked our family over the booze.
2006-11-13 22:02:34 · answer #7 · answered by icesweetp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband has ben active in AA for many years and i joined alanon when we married.i,m sorry but if he isn,t interested in helping himself then.....................
2006-11-13 22:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my wife give it to me, and we still married
2006-11-13 22:52:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋