Ok--Over the last several months my husband has been asking for a mff threesome..I said no as I believe marriage is between two people. (we have been married for 18 years) He still talks about it often and especially with bedroom talk. He says he really wants to watch me and other female and more than that he wants me to watch him f*** someone else (as he puts it) and that he would love to do it with someone else. So I finally asked him one night - if I let that happen what do I get out of it? - just to see his reaction. He let me know that he couldn't handle me being with another guy - but still thinks it's different and ok for him to want to be with someone else. I can't understand this? He says he loves me very much and he has too much respect for me so he "probably" would never go through with it. Do all men go through this??? If he really loved me, would he want to f*** someone else (whether I was there or not?) Has anyone else gone through this?
2006-11-13 12:44:36 · 12 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to let you all know- our sex life has been good until his meds caused him to suffer from ED (which is another reason why I can't believe he would want to be with someone else)
2006-11-13 12:48:15 · update #1
I think it would be a good ideal for both of you to seek marital counseling. You guys have something wonderful, which is a marriage. I would hate for you to become another statistic. Seek counsel, and don't give in to this crazy ideal of a threesome. Stand your ground.
2006-11-14 02:07:45 · answer #1 · answered by pradavee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His ED is what is causing all this sexual tension. In the times when you do manage to have sex, make it great by trying out new positions, better foreplay and some harmless sex toys, light bondage with cloth scarves etc. so it will make him feel good about having a great time with you. About the threesome, don't agree with it and tell him that you're not comfortable talking about it and that you'll never do it so he should just forget about this sick situation. Lovemaking should be different from sex and he should concentrate on pleasuring you more than looking for threesomes that he can jack off to. Get some sex therapy and look for alternatives to penetrative sex.
2006-11-13 17:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a strange question at all. I know more men than not that want to try this. All I'm going to say to you is, don't do it. Any man that truly loves you and you alone, would never disrespect you by even asking a question like that. This is a marriage you have. You both took vows in front of God. I'm sure there is no clause in there that states, until I get bored and want other women in my bed. It's nice to make your husband happy, but come on, he's stepping way over the line. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander. If he thinks it's ok for him to be with other women, well, equality is what I say.
2006-11-13 13:00:20 · answer #3 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon,i have been through this before.I had a man like this, after you have sex with him,the next morning he says "oh I was just talking...I will tell you right now ,hes going through a midlife change,even if he is younger,you have been married 18 years....Do NOT let him do this to you,he will make you feel like you are not loved,that u r not doing enough,and that something is wrong with you.You tell him NO,and if he loves you he better quit talking that way.This is his problem,he has a sex addition,hes feeling like hes losing it and wants to prove his vitality...Just take a stand because i went along with mine (but before I went all the way i ended up leaving him after 20 years.Don,t let this happen.If he lost you he would be miserable and want you back and it would never be the same again.Hold that marriage togeather & put your foot down.
2006-11-13 13:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by slickcut 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants you to be OK with it and yeh, he wants to do it with someone else, sounds like!
That's just SICK!
He doesn't have respect for you AT ALL, what's he talking about having TOO MUCH respect for you? He's got it wrong!
He just wants to get away with something and is turning it around on you! Tell him you need "Couple's Counseling" or he can risk breaking up!
In answer to your last question, I've never gone through this, EVER, but, if it was brought up to me, I wouldn't EVEN listen, NOR entertain the thought!
I think ANY guy who would consider this already being married, he has sexual problrms to start with, cuz, IF he really loved you, this idiotic idea wouldn't enter his mind, for 1........... and another, IF he loved you AS much as he claims, he wouldn't want to get with anyone else!
That's my "take" on this!
Think it over!
2006-11-13 13:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by julesrules 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DUMP HIM! Marriage is between two people. If he can't understand that &(*& HIM.
Act like you want the threesome have him make his first move and have a camera ready, take the pic of him boning her then divorce him and take all his money:) or just talk to him and tell him how uncomfortable this is and you didn't expect him to be this way when you married him.
Sincerely,
F***entom.com :)
2006-11-13 12:48:51 · answer #6 · answered by Tom F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has another woman in mind already. If you're not comfortable w/that then don't do it. And sometimes it's just "bedroom talk". It is a man's favorite fantasy. Use it to your advantage and get him all excited and reap the benefits.
2006-11-13 12:52:32 · answer #7 · answered by MiMi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been through this but it seems to be interesting to alot of people in the world today.I think people need to read their Bible and understand the respect between husband and wife. This would change our mindsets on such situations as this!If your husband is into porno I think I would ask him not to indulge, It's putting such ideas in his head.
2006-11-13 12:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by lee lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG... don't do it... he'll lose respect for you if you'll do it... if he wants others he should think really hard and see if he really loves you... you should be enough for him... he shouldn't need anyone else to ****... he's a jerk for even thinking about it...
2006-11-13 12:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by ILuvMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's thinking about some other girl he wants to be with, and he knows her, and he's looking for approval from you before he does it so it want cause a divorce, watch him girly,
2006-11-13 17:44:31 · answer #10 · answered by Lace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋