i want to become goth... but my parents....?

Question

They hate goth people. i want to have this style. everyone says i act goth, im friends with goth people, my bestest friend in the whole world is goth. I want to be too, but my parents hate goth people, any suggestions?

im not trying to follow my friends, this is a choice im making based on the way i feel about things. i know it sounds like that is the case, but its not.

Answer 1

Here, read this ;)
Goth is more a lifestyle or outlook on life than anything. They tend to accept that there are bad things as well as good things in life, rather than 'sweep them under the rug', to say, and pretend they don't exist. They can dress however they want, although many prefer darker colors and more dramatic clothes and makeup, and listen to lots of songs and varied genres of music, which can include but are by no means limited to, new wave, darkwave, ethereal, Celtic, goth rock, punk, postpunk, chants, heavy metal, industrial, Latin, et cetera. Not all are interested in vampires - in fact, relatively few are. Many if not most have good relationships with their parents. Very few have mental or psychological problems. Most are actually quite nice, if a bit saturnine. Very, very, very few are 'satanists' or 'devil worsippers'. Most of the young teenagers who listen to Marilyn Manson, Disturbed, Slipknot, Korn, My Chemical Romance, Drowning Pool, et cetera and wear heavy thick makeup and studded spike collars and bracelets are called 'Mall goths', shop mostly at Hot Topic, and - this is important - they're not real goths. They just seem to think they are. They act disturbed and surly and try to impress/intimidate people. It seldom works, as most are obviously pathetic, and almost all will (thankfully) grow out of it. If you'd like a comprehensive explanation, try visiting goth.net. Some songs that goths might listen to:
Dragonfly (Conjure one mix) - Cruxshadows
Dazzle - Siouxsie and the Banshees
The Passion of Lovers - Bauhaus
Lucretia My Reflection - Sisters Of Mercy
Lullaby - The Cure
She's Lost Control - Joy Division
In Our Angelhood - The Cocteau Twins
Funeral Night - Bella Morte
Deliverance - The Mission UK
Cemetary Gates - The Smiths
Are 'Friends' Electric? - Tubeway Army
Love Is Stronger than Death - The The
Nowhere Girl - B-Movie
Twilight Of The Mortal - Killing Joke
Seconds - The Human League
Indigo Eyes - Peter Murphy
Right Now - The Creatures
Walk on the Moon - Daniel Ash
No Big Deal - Love and Rockets
Fire Woman - The Cult

Besides, you either are gothic or aren't. It sounds more like you're more interested in letting them let you wear black clothes and spiky belts. Go to goth.net and read the 'what is goth' bit.

Answer 2

If that's how you identify, then you're goth whether your parents say so or not. You're goth whether or not you dress the outside of you like the inside. you're goth whether you wear makeup or not. So, regardless of whether your parents allow the clothes, the music, the jewelry, or whatnot, you're still who you are, and if that's goth, then it just is.

There is no uniform, no standard, no prerequisites or requirements to be goth. There are stereotypes that most non-goth people associate with it, but those are typically wrong...conforming to those as "standards" just makes one a "poser" as it were.

As long as you're living at home with your parents supporting you, you've got certain limitations. If you're not, then the sky's the limit. However, if they're providing your home, food, clothes, and transportation to and from places, then you're a little stuck with how they want to handle that. You could always take an approach that trades some concessions on your part...better grades, less resistance to chores, something, in exchange for them supporting your tastes and choices.

http://corporategoth.net

Answer 3

Don't try to be anything. You can't be goth by dressing any certain way. Goth defines a lifestyle, an attitude, an outlook on life and a love for the music and culture. Don't try to fit in with your friend. You don't sound like you're a goth, so don't be fake. Be you, that is better than trying to fit into any group. Besides, I've been a goth for 15+ years and it is'nt always so easy.

Answer 4

I don't know what "acting goth" even means, but you're not saying in your message above "I like this style because it looks good to me." You're saying "I want this style because my friends do it and I want to look like them." Not a good reason to do something, but that's your decision, of course.

Your parents may have their own ideas about what "goth" means. They might think you dressing like a goth means you're a devil worshipper or a goat-sacrificer. You can ask them what they think about goths, and why they hate them, to get better ideas on what specifically Mom and Dad object to. Who knows, you might even help them have a better understanding in the process.

Obviously you aren't going to get instant cooperation from your parents with the clothing, make-up, or piercings, but you can ease into a style of dress. Wear more of the dark clothes, but don't restrict yourself to specific TYPES of clothes. And you don't have to royally screw up your hair (which, BELIEVE ME, you will regret) or paint your face white or use the kohl eyeliner. The piercing...that's a battle you don't need. I don't know how old you are, so I don't know if you'd need parental permission for a piercing anyway. I DO know that you can find special earrings that LOOK like your whole ear is pierced but are made for ears with single-lobe piercings.

If you're already friends with goths, and they already accept you, there's no need to go to extremes. Besides which, once you move out and start paying for your own clothes (not to mention rent, food, and electricity), you can dress any way you please and not have to worry about what your parents think. If you still feel the goth style is attractive at that point, go for it. But altering your entire appearance right now so you can look like your friends will just put a bigger strain on your relationship with your parents. And you need your parents.

Answer 5

don't become goth, trust me you'll regret it
the thing with goths is that they're like....."not playng" It's really hard to get nice boy/girlfriend because the goth style makes you look uglier unpurpose.
take my advice, I'm 18 and out of all the girls I see, goth is usually at the bottom of the list
try a mix of punky with cool, wear colorful things and pay close attention to what other people wear (other than goths). You don't have to dress like the cool girls, or like someone that's all covered up, but find a balance and you'll see everyone will like your style. Try Gap, they have the type of style you might be loking for

Answer 6

tell them that ur still the same person and that how u dress doesnt define the kind of person you are. that u want to dress the way u like it and if they could please accept that.

Answer 7

Listen to you parents. Your parents have been through that stage. They know what you are going through.