scenario: ex-boyfriend is spreading rumors around that his girlfriend was gay. The girl told me that she isn't gay. But, then I asked her if he was making it up. She said no-then she looked kind of nervous and said not really. I couldn't tell if she was lying or just not ready to say something like that. She already knows of my sexuality, so she did not have to fear about my judging. Should I give her space or should I try to comfort her through this breakup? I want to help her, but I don't want her to think I am putting the moves on her. I really want to be there for her, but I am unsure if it is wrong for someone with my sexuality to do that? I do not want to offend her.
2006-11-13 12:21:16 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
she is a friend of 3 years if that helps. I did not just ask her to be malicious-we almost talk to each other over everything
2006-11-13 12:22:16 · update #1
I think she may like me. She acts nervous around me and gives me long looks. Plus, she likes to go to gay bars and is very open-minded. I just don't know if I have enough clues if she is that way, and I don't plan on asking her anymore since it makes her nervous.
2006-11-13 12:29:06 · update #2
Just be there for her. Tell her that you love her as your friend no matter what! And sound like you mean it. I'm sure you would anyway, I'm just saying. It was hard for me to tell my closest friends even though one of them is bi and the other has a gay relative and a lot of gay friends. Obviously someone like that doesn't pass judgement but it's difficult to tell someone that you've known for so long that you're gay, no matter how much you trust them or believe that the best will come of it.
My advice, take her to lunch, your treat, and just be her friend. Try to bring it up, just don't flat out ask her, but tell her that you'll always be her friend and you'll always be there for her, so if she ever needs to talk to someone about anything, she needs to come to you. Leave the rest up for her, coming out is a very difficult and personal thing for some people. Like me, she may need time to come to terms with it. Once you say those words there's no going back, so it's a little scary at first.
2006-11-13 12:26:01 · answer #1 · answered by JR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that you are not sure where she was coming from relating to the gay issue but if she needs someone to talk you, she can count on you.
You sound like a very caring person. That is refreshing!
2006-11-13 12:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you guys have been friends for three years she should not think that you are putting the moves on her. her first thought should be that my friend is being there for me just like i would for her. i know that this is a sticky situation and to be honest if you do make yourself available for her she just might think that you have other motives, but if you don't make yourself available to her then your not being her friend. you just have to go with your feelings. if you do have some romantic feelings for her, let her know up front and explain to her that even though you do, you are just being there for her in her time of need putting all romantic feelings aside. who knows she might have some feelings for you to.
2006-11-13 12:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by ltonyasfun 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if shes gay and your a guy gay or not cant tell fron ? you should hold her comfort her love her marry her have children its what its all about man+woman equals life. and thats the natural course of things. one of the requirements for homeostasis which is a living organism is to reproduce. w/o test tubes
2006-11-13 12:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by reyman440 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just let her know that you're there for her if she needs you, then give her some space. When she's ready to talk to you, she'll come to you.
2006-11-13 15:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by ~Twisted Sister~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes give her space and her comfort will follow and ask always permission about having sex ahd thank her for the sex a gift of life
2006-11-13 12:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I'd want to be comforted, but hey you know her better than me. What do you think she wants?
2006-11-13 14:18:06 · answer #7 · answered by Rageling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 st of all do you like her?
next if she dosnt seem comfortable I would have one of her friends talk to her!!!
2006-11-13 12:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋