I have a best male friend who is a lot younger than me. We care a lot for each other but I also feel attached to him and would be devastated if our friendship ended He says we will be friends for ever but I always feel that he wouldnt be as upset as I am if the friendship ended. We hug a lot when we meet We argue at times but we always try to sort it out even if it takes a lot of discussion. I am scared that if he starts to date I will hardly ever see him I also dont know how we could have these arguments and sort them out as I feel sure a gf wouldnt like us having such a close friendship Would u mind ur bf having a close older female friend? Am i right to be scared?
2006-11-13 12:07:51 · 9 answers · asked by maryjane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i can totally help you out on this question, i was so confused as you are about your relationship with your guy friend. he has a gf and she doesnt really mind us talking, he calls me every day, but when his gf calls i go. i joke around with him saying that he hurt my feelings about wanting to talk to his gf more than me, but he knows that i am just kidding. it is true that he doesnt spend as much time with you and i really got upset about that cause he is like my brother to me, except i like him better lol. i had to decide what was more important our friendship or being gf and bf. i was convinced that he was the one for me, but i realized that i just loved him as a friend and nothing else. i wouldnt want anything to change, so i just accepted the fact that we can never be. i would also be scared, but when i told him how i felt about being pushed out of his life he immediately started talking to me again. sometimes he forgets that you are there because he has his gf. you are the only one who can decide whether you want to take the chance on a great friendship that might loose, or it might win, but are you willing to deal with not having him as a friend any more? well, i wish the best of luck and hopefully i helped you in some way, i know when i went through this it was very difficult. good luck!
2006-11-13 12:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by JennyJen91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you like him... a LOT. Otherwise you wouldn't feel so scared about him dating another woman. I have many male friends, and a very close one that is a lot younger than I - seven years younger.
I think you're feeling the codependency of a girlfriend, rather than the freedom of a platonic friend. Now, I could be wrong (has happened before!) but I suspect not.
Other women are generally threatened by a close male-female friendship. But if that person is really special (the kind you'd want for such an amazing friend) then that automatic jealousy and distrust CAN be overcome.
Best Wishes... if you have feelings for him, please tell him. Spend your chances wisely. ~ Andrea
2006-11-13 12:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by Mikisew 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's some honesty. I would not be happy at all if my boyfriend had an older, female friend. Right or wrong, silly or not, I would be paranoid. From my experiences, unless it's a couple being friends with a couple, it's very hard to keep a close friendship with the opposite sex going if one or the other has a boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm sure there are people on earth who can handle it, but I haven't seen it happen.
2006-11-13 12:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by swtgrl4321 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not bear in mind any Biblical prohibition adverse to women people spending unchaperoned time contained in the corporate of unrelated adult adult males, no. The idea that a guy and a lady won't be able to be friends without lusting after one yet another is absurd and insulting to both adult adult males and females people. do not difficulty about what's "socially unacceptable" to judgmental busybodies who does not recognize genuine friendship if it swatted them with a pillow. a very good chum is efficacious and complicated to go back by. we are not in center college anymore, to split ourselves out by gender in all social circumstances. If anybody tells you that you mustn't have a male chum, tell that human being to give up being one of those pervert and assuming that everybody is as sex-obsessed as they're.
2016-11-29 02:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll take the liberty (as an older male) and say that most females feel very insecure if their boyfriend has any kind of relationship with any other female who is not related to him by birth or marriage. Would you?
2006-11-13 12:12:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know not every one is going to like you but it dosen't matter if he has a gf or not if she dosn;e like you than who cares. I think you should let him get a gf because it might seem to him like you are controling him and you can get into another argument. Also you know every friendship has to have arguments thats what make you two friends you have differences and simalarities.
2006-11-13 12:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by crazsportgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course you have a right to be scared. if you guys talk alot, tell him how you feel about that and make sure he gets the message and see what he has to say. he should always be there for you since you have been freinds for a long time.
2006-11-13 12:12:36 · answer #7 · answered by shelby p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sound's as though u really like him more then a friend. cause if you were just his good friend u wouldnt mind him having a girl friend.
2006-11-13 12:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by dounut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, its normal as the friendship is strong!!!!
2006-11-13 12:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋