Ok, I've met this guy and he's really sweet and nice and he likes me a lot and I like him too, but here's the problem: He wants a relationship and I'm not too sure I want to jump on that boat yet. We've been talking for a week and a half now and the whole relationship kind of scares me at the moment. I've never been in a serious relationship, and only came out of the closet a month ago. I'm not too sure I want to tie myself down already, so how do I go about this delicate situation without hurting his feelings?
2006-11-13 11:54:20 · 7 answers · asked by JR 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just tell him what you've told us -that you don't think you're quite ready for a serious relationship. He'll either agree to take it slow, or he'll tell you that he needs a serious relationship & maybe you shouldn't see each other. Either way, at least you'll know where you stand with him. Good luck.
2006-11-13 12:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by Dragon 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly how you told it here. There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. You have only been talking for a short time. If you think a relationship is an option, hang out with him more and get to know him. There's no hurry. The worse thing you can do is date him if you are not in love with him or if you feel that dating him will tie you down.
2006-11-13 13:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by gc27858 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a 'relationship' with this guy the moment you opened your mouth to say 'hello'. Every interaction we have with humans is a form of relationship and comes with rights and responsibilities....
Why make a sweeping declaration as to what you'd like to label the interaction you have with this guy? Why draw up in your mind a social contract with this guy you like? Don't let this guy bully you into loving him. Doesn't work like that.
If you hurt his feelings, so be it. Not your responsibility to orchestrate the state of his emotional health.
Enjoy his company, take it slow and don't put a label on what you've got with him.
Usually guys who jump into relationships are compensating for a perceived deficit in their lives. You want to be this guys boyfriend, not his psychologist.
Do what feels right. Express yourself. That's all you can do....
2006-11-13 12:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by Flashy Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with James B on this. Tell him what you've just told us. Honesty is always the best policy. It avoids a lot of problems down the road. You have just come out and you have a lot of exploring to do with your "new" self. Don't rush it!
2006-11-13 12:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart, I'm sure that it's never let you down before. At least not in a way that didn't somehow benefit you.
2006-11-13 12:42:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your just coming out of the gate...go out enjoy a little bit of what life has to offer...
your obviously not ready for a relationship...just let the guy know...if he wants to continue to see you..then great...if not...well....there are more starfish on the beach
2006-11-13 13:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by Matt Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tellhim to ttake it easy and give more time do it on part time basis first and see if this is for u or not
2006-11-13 13:27:35 · answer #7 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋