-I am 23 years old and i have one child, with the man i am married to.
- We have now been togather for 9 years, out of the nine years i was happy about 3
-He has never abused me but has caused me a great deal of pain by the way he disrepects me, doesn't help out and how inconsiderate he is to my feelings.
- i made a mistake by getting married, but i felt obligated to do so for the sake of my son, now i feel as though i am trapped forever.
-My un-happiness is seen and felt not only by me but by all the people around me, what do i do.
2006-11-13 11:01:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would suggest You PRAY. Prayer is VERY Powerful!
Find a Christian church close to you and go and ask for prayer. It will help you tremendously and your children & marriage. The Lord restored my marriage. You can also get free Godly counselling from the Pastor.
You see satan wants to destroy our marriage, children & you. DON"T let him.
The Bible says:
10 The thief’s(satan) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My (The Lord)purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
You need to be in a group of believers. The prayers of believers avail much. They also can offer you support, encouragement, uplift your spirits etc...It really helped me and I got alot of hope.
If you can, read "Power of a praying woman" by Stormie Omarian. Very good. Your life will never be the same once you accept Jesus in your heart. My life changed all for the better including my children. I'm living testimony.
Here is a verse for you.
Jer 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
His Word never returns void. Here's another verse for you.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
I believe the Lord can restore your marriage as He did mine.
God Bless!
2006-11-13 21:12:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get Out and Get Away! If after 9 years you are miserable and you know that marrying him was a mistake, what are you waiting for? Living a life feeling like you're trapped and cornered is not good for you or your son. Do you want your son to think this is the way marriage is supposed to go?
Your husband may not have actually hit you, but emotional abuse (neglecting your feelings and emotional needs) can hurt just as much. You deserve better. Put on your big-girl panties, scoop up your precious son and run for safety.
2006-11-13 11:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Harley 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To get married for the sake of a child is crazy to me. You can still have him support the child without being married. I would ask him to go to counseling with you, and if he isn't interested then I would file for divorce and make sure you ask for child support for your son. You should never stay in a marriage when you are unhappy especially for the sake of a child, your child is going to see your pain and unhappiness and think this is how life should be. Break out and make a better life for you both!
2006-11-13 11:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it. u said he's not abusive. doe's he work and pay the bills? if he is and your a stay at home mom why should he help u around the house that's your job. if it's the opposite and your working and doing everything then that's a different pithier. that is a form of neglect on his part. you were right to marry him for your child. if your not happy it's maybe you from the inside not happy with yourself. find something to do that makes u happy. don't put that on your husband. There's a book u should read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger it will halp u out. it's easy reading. please read it before u give up your marriage.
2006-11-13 11:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. You can raise your child outside of marriage, you're not "obligated" to throw away your own life for your child's sake. Everyone makes mistakes, yours was very costly, but it can still be corrected. Don't try to fix a mistake by piling more and more mistakes on top of it. As long as you learn something from it, you will be able to make a better choice in the future, and give your child a loving home he deserves.
2006-11-13 11:48:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no 1 ever said marriage was easy it takes 2 Have u talked 2 him about the way u feel? Have u tried counseling? Just don't throw away your marriage because u had a few rough patches But if u tried everything then u have 2 make a decision I hope I helped & good luck
2006-11-13 11:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by lost in translation. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he's not physically abusive doesn't mean he doesn't abuse you.
there are many kinds of abuse, including financial abuse! there's also sexual abuse, emotional abuse, etc.
so just because he doesn't hit you, doesn't mean he doesn't hurt you. likewise with you! you could be abusing him in some way without even knowing it.
i'm just saying this to get you to see that you could be contributing to the problem too, if only by not acknowledging abuse and thus allowing it to continue.
don't let your unhappiness rule your life, it might make other people feel sorry for you or make your situation more apparent, but it doesn't help things ultimately. carry on living in the meantime, and look for solutions rather self-pity.
i'm not trying to be mean. being married to a man who doesn't help out, disrespects you, and doesn't understand your feelings can't be a walk in the park.
but you do have some choices. use the control that you have over your situation! if you feel trapped, that's not just your husband's fault. get out, do things.
get counselling.
2006-11-13 11:20:02 · answer #7 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also 23 and have been married 2 yrs. We have been together for 7.We also have 2 children. I feel for you. I think the main thing is that you feel you have lost your freedom and just want the chance to experience things. Maybe a trial separation would give you the answer you need. You would realise if your happier with or without him. He also might realise that hes being a jerk and doesnt want to loose you.
2006-11-13 11:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by Kylie P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To stay married for the child sake is not going to make anything change, and its not a healthy reason to stay married. Your child will know that you are sad and unhappy just when you hold him, your child will be affected by your depression. Its not healthy for your child and its not healthy for you. Get out, get help from your family and everyone that sees that your not happy will be more than HAPPY to help you. God bless i hope everything works out!!
2006-11-13 11:25:17 · answer #9 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, if you possibly can. You are far too young and have far too much of your life ahead of you to be this unhappy. Also, it can't be good for your son to grow up in this atmosphere, in the long run he'd be much better off if you were on your own and happy, kids pick up on these things very easily.
2006-11-13 11:08:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋