I'm really confused. What should I do?

Question

I'm 19 years old and I sometimes get depressed because I don't like myself. I mean I'm not ugly, but is something that I don't discuss with no one. I used to listen to rap/reggaeton and I've quit listening to them because most of their lyrics are full of hate and vanity (there is no more soul to most of these music). Of course I haven't entirely giving up on these two genres because there are still talented artists who either sing about real day issues or love. Sometimes I get angry and I turn into gangsta rap (I don't want to by the way). What music do you suggest that I should listen to when I'm stress/angry? Then there is my porn addiction. I want to quit, but I can't. What do you suggest? I'm a real bright kid in school, and I like reading. It takes me to some other person's life (more interesting than my own life). I sometimes want to cry, or commit suicide(well really no, but I think of it). I even get happy when I go to sleep. I get really sad. Give me some advice

Well, I'm not really addicted to porn. I just think that is bad because so many people say so. To tell you the truth I enjor porn, I watch it on weekends, but again I feel guilty because so many people say it's a sin. To sum it all up I believe in God, but I barely believe in the Bible.

Beisdes this I exercise for an hour daily. I watch news and comedy shows like the Wayne Brothers. I read books like The Battle of Jericho, and play video games.

Oh yeah and I think I'm very emotional because I literaly "love" this girl, but I'm scare of rejection.

Answer 1

Read a book called, Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. Free your thoughts, and you free your baggage. Try comedy, laughing has it's own power. Keep busy in your interests, because they will keep your mind on target, even when you are depressed, because you see yourself achieving something, and before you know it, you will be out of the slump. Sometimes it's only a seasonal thing, put beach pictures up, and a grow light! As for girls, the real thing is far more exciting than porn. We all think of suicide, but only the cowards achieve it. And finally, talking is your best friend, I am a girl, and I like you very much, and I know someone else will also!!!! You are very normal, you just need to realize this, and sin or not. (Porn) Who really cares. It's your life, but I hope you live it, rather than watch it.

Answer 2

My goodness, for someone so young and looking forward to what should be a bright and promising future, you sure sound like you are screwing it up!!! Why are you doing that??? You need to see a professional I think. Are you into any sports?? Do you ride a bike?? What are your activities except for listening to rap and looking at porn?? You need to get more and better interests. Porn only warps the mind and the idea of what sex is all about. It is delusional. You need to find a better way to fill your time. And there is so much for young people to do. As far as the music goes, I like reggae and some of the rap. One of my favorite ,movies is "8 Mile". And I am a lot older than you!!! I would not recommend listening to the gangsta stuff. So, join your local YMCA, get a real life and stop watching the porn. Good luck!!

Answer 3

Sounds like one confused puppy here. Where to start with advice?

You mention your porn addiction. Can you adjust that to a respectful Goddess-worshiping sort of collection? There are men who honestly love women, respect them highly, and love to have pictures of them sky-clad. Nothing wrong with that. It is porn only when it is disrespectful of women, or of love.

You see, things are not always what they seem, not always what other people tell you they are.

Music for stress and anger? Why not stick to the classics, and preferably instrumentals only, because the lyrics shape a song too much. You need the non-verbal elements that can soothe and comfort.

The negative stuff is more interesting than your own life? Then work on making your life something that does not need that jolt. You are on the edge between adolescence and adulthood. Can you get your head around the fact that this is your chance to prepare well for the rest of your life? Education, experience, introspection, reason and responsibility -- embrace the concept of responsible adulthood, and find your niche.

You have said nothing about your studies, your goals for the future, your interests and talents. You do have them, of course; you admit you are a bright kid. You like to read: read some philosophy, theology, spiritually uplifting works. Talk to someone you respect about how they can help you choose a pathway. You need a focus to get you out of this emotional emphasis and back to using your head.

Or it may be that all you really need is one good woman to believe in you.

Answer 4

I'm not a religious nut bar but you need Christ in your life. Search out a Evangelical church where the Bible is preached and taught. Look for a Calvary church in your area, You have too much going for you to waste it, He will give you life and life more abundant. Let me suggest first off to get a Bible and read the book of John in the NT.

Answer 5

I'm no doctor, but it sounds to me like you are suffering from depression. Sleep is just a way to avoid reality.

Try seeing a physician - he/she may be able to help you with some medication. I speak from experience because I have suffered from depression most of my life but once on the medication, I feel like a free woman.