Like many american men, I was sent overseas to serve my country, which i did very proudly. Unfortunately upon returning i discovered the wife had gotton a boyfriend. We seperated, she moved in with him, two months later she is pregnant, by him. I have no desire to be with her in any shape, form or fashion. i have a divorce lawyer currently working the particulars of the divorce, which she is making extremely difficult to happen altho she is the guilty party. I am curious to see how the vast majoriy of particulary the women in the audience think or believe is the proper way to deal with the cheating spouse.
2006-11-13 10:36:25 · 19 answers · asked by Now_What 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Best bet..don't let the anger overcome you. If she is being difficult about the divorce, let your lawyer handle it-set guidelines of what you are willing to except and anything otherwise is not up for discussion. My ex was against everything we had agreed upon , to the point of lying to his attorney in order to try to make the outcome in his favor. In some strange way, she is probably portraying herself as the victim to her new bf to gain more attention. Classic. Stick to your guns with a steady positive attitude. Knowing I was better off divorced and that there was indeed a light at the end of the tunnel changed my frame of mind. Doing so, it was much easier for me to give an emphatic "NO" (more of a "Hell no") to the crazy demands he was making instead of wondering what the hell I did to deserve what was going on and losing my sanity. Some people make themselves happy by making others miserable ("Misery loves Company..."). You have it in you to take on this divorce full force and come out ahead in every way.
Thanks for serving our country and best of luck!
2006-11-13 10:51:37 · answer #1 · answered by ba374 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my man, cheating is not uncommen this day and age. Getting knocked up by the b/f while still married is not good. Some states will try to pin the support on the spouse. Be careful. Thank God for DNA. Looks like your doing the right thing here, but be sure this is what you realy want. I have always lived with the attitude to forgive ONE time. Sh_t can happen. But you have to realy want to forgive, and not make it a point in every disagreement in the future. Remember, two wrongs just dont make a right. Even though it makes one feel much better. Ask yourself, have been clean while apart? If you have and are really devistated over this, continue on. But if not, give it some thought. Don't make a mistake you cannot change. Good luck man.
2006-11-13 11:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by megofish2day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the proper way of dealing with a cheating spouse. I dont believe that I would ever be able to forgive my spouse for cheating. I think that you should let the contact between the two of you minimal and to point. Dont let her take things because you want the divorce to hurry and be over. It depends on what you have accumalted over the marriage whether it is worth going to court if you cant agree on certain terms. If you have to go to court you have the upper hand and can pretty much get anything you want out of it. And once the divorce is over there is no need for contact in my opinion.
2006-11-13 10:52:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey , sorry that your wife was cheating on you . I pray that some
day, you will find someone who will be faithful to you. I would
get a divorce and then wait 2 years before seeing anyone . I also have a friend who`s in Iraq, I have known for 23 years who got a divorce , after 21 years then got re married soon. and is not happy now. I will say this i think you guys need someone
that will always be their for you know matter what. I am that kind of friend to the guy i know in Iraq . Even he was to say dumb,things like he wants to sleep with me. I love him as a friend and always will. yes we were high school sweet hearts.
2006-11-13 11:57:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't judge all women based on your trashy soon to be ex. There are alot of us that wait on our husband while they're deployed. Now we may be mean and cranky biatches from lack of any loving but hey that's how people know we're waiting! And I agree with the other poster that said there should be a special place in hell for spouses like that (as well as for the ones that cheat while their spouse is waiting...heard alot of those stories too!)
Good luck getting everything you should out of your divorce and on finding a decent woman that will wait!
2006-11-13 11:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always believed this was the worst thing a woman could do to a man, from one veteran to another. Any woman that would cheat on her man while he is out sacrificing his life for our country should have a special place in hell.
Don't hold it against all woman bro. There's some good ones out there.
And ladies, yes the guy is a dirtbag too, if he knew this gentleman was out serving his country.
2006-11-13 10:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all; thank you very much for serving our country. I hope you don't have children with her but if you do; please always remember to put them first. I am really sorry to hear of that happening to you. She is very selfish and will have to answer to God for what she did. I hope your lawyer makes sure you get proper treatment. It is so sad that there are so many people out there that disregard their wedding vows. Fortunately there are a lot of good people in the world too that honor them. Good luck to you and I wish you much happiness in the future.
2006-11-13 12:32:29 · answer #7 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are various folk who manage now to not cheat yet you do not listen a lot from them! notwithstanding, I do completely comprehend what you assert. There are some human beings accessible who basically look to indulge themselves with very flimsy excuses for his or her infidelity. that's no longer really a wedding ceremony, is it? in case you actually provide 100% to someone, then its complicated to be with each person else. i'm fortuitously married or perhaps the sight of a builders bottom makes me shy away. the purely butt i want to be certain is my husbands. yet there, possibly loyalty and constancy are too previous shaped for some. i'm proud to be dependable and delighted to say I under no circumstances 2-timed any bfs and under no circumstances cheated on each person.
2016-10-16 08:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a man, but I have been through the cheating / affair thing before. It finally ended in divorce, after a couple years of trying to work it out.
I finally realized I could not be with a woman I could not trust, so I ended it. For myself I wish I would have ended it right after I found out about the affair and got on with my life.
PS THANKS for defending our country, sorry your wife could not wait for you.
2006-11-13 10:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Todd V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for serving our country.
Now gather as much evidence as possible of her cheating and drag her down for all she is worth. My wife has a boyfriend and we are working towards a divorce. So far she has been very willing to give all I ask. Good Luck
2006-11-13 10:40:54 · answer #10 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋