Not clear of my sexuality?

Question

I haven't been with a woman, but i know I want a gf, their is a guy in my life and he is inlove with me. We are not sexual and he keeps trying to plan our future. I am a mother, and I know my children look at me to be a rolemodel no matter what I choose. I can't label myself as bi if I'm not in a reationship with either gendar right? I really want a gf and it's not about sex or some weird affair thing. He doesn't get it, doesn't listen and really want me to be his wife,. He told many people he plans to purpose next year.................... Not clear how to know what I NEED to know. Because I don't want to make anyone male or female heartbroken. I'm an honest person and I feel honesty is best..... any suggestions??????????

Answer 1

I know you have a lot of questions here, but I'll just answer your main one: what's your sexuality?

You say that if you aren't in a relationship with either gender you aren't bi- that's plain wrong! Take it from me, a single bisexual virgin- you don't have to be in a relationship with both genders to be bisexual, nor do you have to have had sexual relations with both, or anything like that. All you have to have is sexual desire for each.

Hope that helps on that count, at least.

Answer 2

You might be surprised but normal heterosexuals often question their sexual orientation too. I believe this is because heterosexual and homosexual are just terms, and in real life there is every variation imaginable. Nobody fits in a one-size-fits-all box.

I suggest you ask yourself, "where do I want to be 10 years from now?" If you want a family, with little children of your own and a husband snuggling up with you at night, then that's what you have to do. You can't do both. You can't experiment. If you start down the gay lifestyle you will not be able to turn back.

Answer 3

"I can't label myself as bi if I'm not in a reationship with either gendar right?"

That isn't true. It is one of the fallacies of sexual orientation. According to that logic, no one can be bisexual UNLESS they are in relationships with two people of opposing genders at the same time. You can be bisexual and have a girlfriend and still be bisexual. You can be bisexual and have a boyfriend and still be bisexual. You can be bisexual and in a relationship with no one and still be bisexual.

As for your children, they should love their mother for who she is: their mother. Be the best mom you can and if you are bisexual and a mom -that's fine! It can only teach your kids acceptance.

Answer 4

I'll try to make this as simple as I can.

If you only fantasize about or desire to have sexual relationships with members of the opposite sex, you are most likely heterosexual.

If you only fantasize about or desire to have sexual relationships with members of your own sex, you are most likely homosexual.

If you fantasize about or desire to have sexual relationships with members of either sex, you are most likely bisexual.

If you think you are heterosexual and "just wondering" what it would be like to have sex with someone of your own gender, perhaps you are "bi-curious." There's nothing wrong with experimenting!

Alfred Kinsey proposed that sexual identity is a dimensional construct, so even people who identify themselves as "100%" heterosexual or homosexual might occasionally have sexual feelings toward members of their own sex or the opposite sex, respectively (though they may work hard at keeping these feelings out of conscious awareness).

Perhaps the best gauge of sexual orientation is not what people *do*, so much as what they really *want*, even if they never act on these fantasies or share them with others.

So, in order to arrive at an answer for yourself, perhaps you should consider the following questions: Regardless of how you may feel or think about it, what is it that you want? When you masturbate (which I assume you do, since almost everyone does), what fantasies give you the most pleasure?

Hmm. This answer turned out to be more complex than I intended, but this is a complex subject, after all. Best of luck.

Answer 5

before you commit to the guy get with a girl, not necassarily to have sex but see where it leads. my fiance couldn't grasp the fact that i am bi for like 6 months or more. he still has issues we are workin through but i told him when he asked i couldn't agree to marry him until he could handle the fact that i am bi and need a woman in my life too. granted i love him VERY much and the woman wouldn't take his place in my life, i could go on but i think you get it. so talk to him about what you want to do and if he can't take it he isn't the one for you(if you really want to try things with a woman)

Answer 6

Neither are a lot of people. *Myself included. You need to think and experiment. Well, you don't NEED to do anything, but I suggest... But be careful and make sure you trust who ever it is that you are experimenting with. Good luck love!

Answer 7

having sex is the best way of figuring out your sexuality

Answer 8

Honestly, it sounds like you are looking for a best friend...

Answer 9

K,need two things for you to tell me-
Age
Why you are unclear.

Answer 10

If God made you a woman you should be attracted to men. If God made you a man, you should be attracted to women. If you are having troubles with that, then you should pray and talk to God about it! He will help you!
God Bless!