are you the parent of a child with a disability or "disorder" and do you find when some people talk?

Question

to you about them they feel the need to whisper?

Answer 1

I raised an Asperger's Child (High Functioning Autism) and a Severely ADHD Child (both with other disabilities -- but also testing as highly Gifted) -- and it is a YES and NO Answer --

SOME Think that because a child is Different -- they can NOT hear when you whisper about them -- and that is RUDE - because most of the time the CHILD (themselves) will pipe up and tell you in no uncertain terms what they perceive is behind the whispering -- and I KNOW individuals who have taught my children, did whisper -- and did it with the idea (in only their minds) that it was a subtle way of trying to tell me to REMOVE my child from the programs that they were qualified to attend!

Then there are the Loud and RUDE ones, who let everyone in the area know that they DO NOT WANT your disabled child in THEIR space or Classroom or the Event or whatever -- these individuals are AFRAID of anything DIFFERENT than they are -- so want to have the disabled OUT OF SIGHT, Out of Mind (according to them).

EITHER Way -- I, the Long-Term Single parent of these disabled children (now adults and living independently -- but with help), ALWAYS stood up against the prejudice and ignorance of others -- and did my best to EDUCATE them that just because someone is differently abled (and I am the child of a Paraplegic WWII Vet -- who was in their early 40s when they had me and my siblings) -- and it just is plain aggravating that they would make comments because someone is in a wheelchair, or walks with canes, or needs crutches, whatever. Always growing up with a Disabled Vet of a Father -- I can say that I definitely see things differently than others -- and NEVER let anyone with any disability feel less than welcome wherever I am at.

Answer 2

I work at a preschool for children with disabilities- about 60% of our kids have some identified disability, while the other 40% are "childcare" children. When prospective parents come to check out the center, there is always a few that feel like they have to whisper when they ask about the children in the classroom. I'm not sure if they think they have to whisper because the children may hear them or if they feel like it is an issue that is so sensitive that they shouldn't say it out loud.

Answer 3

I am not a parent with a child that has disability but everyone of us need to talk and wonder about someone/ something who isn't ''normal'' I'm teacher in a deaf school, so when we go out with the children and speaking in sign language everyone is looking and talking. some people just ask question because they don't know nothing about deaf but some are rude
this is life, you can stopped them to whisper or comment, you can just manage this kind of situation

Answer 4

Yes I am a parent of a child with a disability. sometimes people try to lower their voice so the child doesn't hear what they are saying about him. sometimes this is a good thing because he don't need to hear things he wont understand and though it is not intending to hurt his feelings it may just do that if he don't understand what the conversation is about.
then there is the rude people that stare, point and whisper as if you don't know they are saying something bad about your child. And then there are the ones that just blurt out hurtful words thinking your child is so dumb that he wont know that they are talking about him.

Answer 5

I guess I am confused who they are trying to keep from hearing the conversation. Other adults or the child?

If it is other adults look at them and say i notice you whisper when we are talking about talking about "Karen". I understand your trying to respect privacy but everyone who knows her Karen is disabled. she has her challenges. We all know that. I am not embarrassed, she is not embarrassed. so there is no need to whisper.

If it is around your child, say I understand that you are trying to whisper so Karen wont know we are discussing her however she will notice and I don't want her to ever feel like her disability is something i feel embarrassed about.

If the child wont notice go, my child does not understand why you are whispering but she does notice and it makes both she and i both very uncomfortable.

I am disabled, i can tell you that as an adult i have waitresses etc speak to my aunt instead of me. i walk with limp. that is all. Don't speak for your child after the day she does not need you to. And if anyone ask you things she can answer look at them blankly and say i have no idea and look away. It is an embarrassment for people to treat you as your ignorant and for family to go along/.

Answer 6

Early on I made the decision my son would be included in any medical discussions.While he was attending public school if a educational problem was the issue I would talk with the teacher.If it was a behavior problem he was included.If it was a Oh he should act his age thing I first talked to the teacher to remind her of his needs(.He has severe development delay due to a brain stem tumor.)If she persisted I called an IEP meeting.

As for friends and family if they start to whisper ,I remind them that he can hear and knows his condition and how rude it is to whisper.

As for strangers,If they ask what is wrong with him and the are asking in a way that is truly concerned I'll explain that he knows he is different and not to whisper around him.

If anyone is being ignorant I will tell them that they have the disorder called stupidity.

Answer 7

Yes and I also have noticed that people talk very loud when speaking to the child.Children with disorders and disabilities can understand what people are talking about. This is why I think a child should not be in the presence of people discussing him/her.

Answer 8

I am not a parent but I think I can speak for my parents on this issue. I was disabled since I was 6 but is lucky to regain my mobility when I was about 15. I still consider myself 'abnormal' in the physical sense as my growth was seriously stunted because of my disability to walk for many years. However, I never think I am special because of how I am , I only think I am special because I am able to function healthily with regards to my self-esteem.

My parents think of me in that way too. Because we are Chinese, people don't usually talk about my condition when I am around but if they do, my mother would tell them briefly without needing to whisper about it. She is proud of me and I know it. Strangers do whisper about me behind my back but I just ignore them and sometimes (when I'm feeling evil), I look at them and smile - -- which usually leave them embarassed =)

As a 'disabled' person, I think whispering is not about wanting to be sensitive about the other person's feelings. If that is really the case then you just simply don't talk about them.

Answer 9

It seems that people have feelings about special ed, but don't want to sound insensitive, so they whisper to avoid any students to overhear. Imagine that?

As a teacher's aid in special ed, I have found that the students are not disabled, just challenged in one or more scholastic area. Our students are not disabled, they are "able" to learn, just slower to absorb or reluctant. IN our class of 13, some are bi-lingual, some are challenged in reading or speaking clearly, some are just reluctant.

Again, this is why some people may whisper when they speak of our students. They feel that they may appear insensitive in speaking about the class or students.

Answer 10

Yep. My daughter has cerebral palsy, and has a trach and a ventilator, feeding tube and people whisper all the time. Like Hello talk normal is nothing to be ashamed of. Also hate it when people say they are sorry. Sorry for what? My daughter is the way God made her and that is all, why we sorry, we arent sorry, we are lucky and happy