I am 33, married for 2 years, and I am getting pressure from hubby to start popping them out. I'm scared.
2006-11-13 10:15:41 · 11 answers · asked by Sugar_Mama 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You're how old? 33?....Well you should already have your priorities straight. You dont have that many years left to have a baby before complications start. You should put out or get out for your husbands sake. He wants kids.
2006-11-13 10:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by Kandy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm kinda in the same boat as you are and am wondering if I even want to have kids. I'm 29 and have been married for 4 years now. My husband is definitely ready to have kids but he won't tell me directly because he doesn't want to pressure me in any way. There is a lot of pressure as a woman to have kids. People expect us to naturally want to be a mother but it's not for all of us. There are plenty of young couples that don't want to have kids at all.
What I'm doing to test myself is trying to hang around some of my friends with babies or little kids and see how I feel about it. I'm also going to ask some of the other couples that I know, that are sure that they don't want to have kids, how are they so sure. What is their reasoning behind it.
So far I'm leaning towards the having kids. I think I'm just scared of the whole "unknown" thing about it.
Most importantly, be honest with your husband about how you are feeling. You are not at all a bad wife for not knowing if you want to take such a huge step.
You will find the right answer inside yourself.
2006-11-13 19:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by turnip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely normal. Having children completely changes your life and is an enormous responsibility. Being unsure is only natural. Talk over your feelings with your husband and ask him to give you a few months to think about it and set a timeline. In the meantime, go to your gynocologist to make sure everything is in working order in case you decide you want to have kids. That alone will probably appease the hubby for a little while.
2006-11-13 18:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tara P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone experience with this is different. When I was in my 20s I was completely against it, no way I could do it, I thought. Then I went through the not thinking about it stage, and now my maternal instincts are kicking my ****.
What are you afraid of? It's an awsome responsibility. Just knowing where you stand with it is a sign of maturity and a sign that you know what a big assignment it is.
Good luck. Hubby should get that timing must sync between you.
2006-11-13 18:21:46 · answer #4 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of women are scared to have a family. Your whole role as a woman changes when you have a child. Your life is no longer your life. You have to put the child first and YOU change. Everything about you changes. The way you view things, the way you feel about others, EVERYTHING. I can tell you from experience though, in my opinion, you aren't really living until you have a child. It's like you aren't really feeling before. Or maybe it's because before you have a child you don't know what it feels like to walk around with your heart outside of your body. Take your time with making a decision to have a child because nothign will ever be the same again. Once you have one , you wouldn't change it for the world I guarantee it.
2006-11-13 18:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by mommysrock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it till you are ready. Being pressured into is not a good reason to. Try to explain to him your fears and maybe you can make a plan when to start having kids or when you can at least approach the subject again and discuss how your feeling at that time. In the mean time he needs to put no pressure on you.
2006-11-13 18:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by schell_75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes sweetheart it is very normal, everybody goes back and forth about having children, it is a life changing event..and it will especially be for you, considering it has been only you and your husband for 2 years.. You are not a bad wife.. What are the things that concern you about having a child? You should write them down the pros and cons, and talk to your husband about them..some things you are concerned about ,He maybe able to answer and put you at peace... children are a wonderful blessing, and you having a man that is requesting them with you is a blessing as well. talk to him about why you are scared, and stop thinking you are a bad wife that is not at all true..
2006-11-13 18:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by dollapassadime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's absolutely normal. children are a big step and are hard work. plus you have the fears of any normal person "will i mess them up somehow? " "will i be the same person" and so on. your best bet is to decide if you are just scared or if you do not want to have kids at all. there is no shame in either one. talking to someone helps though. maybe you should get involved with some of your friends who have kids. you can learn from them and they can set alot of your fears to rest.
2006-11-13 18:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by Donna L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you talk about this before you married? If you want children then have them when you are ready, if you don't want any then you need to be open about it with your husband. Good luck to you!
2006-11-13 18:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by PrettyWifey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is normal and scary to become a first time mom. God knows when a person is ready and will not give a person a kid before they can handle it. time will tell my dear.
2006-11-13 18:25:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋