my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion!!!?

Question

i am 17 years old and pregnant. my boyfriend will be 18 in april.
he says that were not ready to have a baby and that i should have an abortion. he says he really doesnt want me to have one he just doesnt want us to suffer and ruin our lifes. his older brother had a baby a year ago and him and his girlfriend were 17. they had alot of problems..money wise and he doesnt want us to struggle liek that...he thinks its our best interst to abort because were not ready to raise a baby. he doesnt want to give it up for adoption...the only thing is this will be my 2nd abortion and i had a miscarriage earlier this year....i dont want to have to go through the pain and sadness..i want my baby..but everyone says IM TOO YOUNG AND I HAVE THE REST OF MY LIFE..i dont want to hear that

Answer 1

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT AT 17, AND MY BF WAS 18. DONT LISTEN TO ANYBODY BEING RUDE TO YOU OR MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE $HIT. THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND WHATEVER DECISION YOU WANT TO MAKE IS THE RIGHT ONE. I HAD AN ABORTION. MY BF OF TWO YEARS WAS TELLING ME HE WASNT GOING TO HELP AND TO GET AN ABORTION. I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ONE TO HELP ME AND KNEW I WOULD END UP ON WELFARE AND DIDNT WANT TO RAISE MY FIRSTBORN LIKE THAT. I CANT CHANGE THE PAST. I STILL WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE A 3 YEAR OLD RIGHT NOW. PEOPLE CAN JUDGE ME BUT THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO. SO THEIR OPINION DOES NOT MATTER. IM GLAD I MADE THE DECISION I DID BECAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MOVED AND MET MY FIANCE.BUT WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO IS THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU. NOW IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU REALLY WANT THIS CHILD. I THINK YOU NEED TO IGNORE YOUR BOYFRIEND AND TELL HIM YOU WILL CONTACT HIM WHEN YOUR GOING INTO LABOR. HE NEEDS TO LEAVE YOU ALONE. YOU DONT NEED TO BE STRESSING ABOUT HIM. IF HE DOESNT WANT TO BE INVOLVED YOU WILL GET CHILD SUPPORT FROM HIM OUT OF HIS PAYCHECK. IF YOU DECIDE TO KEEP HIM OR HER THEN START TAKING VITAMINS AND TRY TO HAVE AS LITTLE STRESS AS POSSIBLE. BE STRONG FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD AND EVERYBODY WILL BE SOOO HAPPY WHEN YOUR BABY IS BORN. CONGRADULATIONS!

Answer 2

I know this is a VERY tough thing to have to deal with. I went through it. It is 100% your decision. Having a child WILL change your life. You will have to be responsible and do whatever is necessary to provide for that baby. Having an abortion, as you know, is a very hard thing and something that you will never forget and maybe never stop regretting. Adoption is an option but a very hard one. I never did it and couldn't imagine carrying a child for nine months to give away to someone else. It is the better thing to do because it still proveds that baby a future but a hard one for you. No matter what anyone tells you on here it is totally up to you. You are the one that has to decide whether you want to have a baby and be forced to grow up fast or not keep the baby and deal with some sadness and regret. If you need to talk, I'd be more than happy to. Goodluck, I know it's one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make.

Answer 3

You have to think is his reason for wanting to have the abortion selfish, does he just not want to get roped into paying child support.But in this decision you really must respect his opinion because this is his kid too. I can take both side of the issue. Wanting a baby is a great quality and it doesnt have to be to far away, but finish school and get some other career goals in mind with a little life planning. I know that getting an abortion so many times can't be healthy, invest in birthcontrol, if you dont want to buy it go through the local clinic, its no big deal. Its kind of discouraging to you if everyone keeps telling you your too young, but you have to know that once you look back at this situation later, you'll see exactly what they mean (no matter what choice you make).

Answer 4

Well, I do think that you are a little young to have a child, BUT if you are willing to accept the responsibility, and you realize what you are getting yourself into, then you should have your baby.

I think the main thing is that it is BOTH of your decision together, and if you plan to have your baby then you need to sit down and make a plan. Figure out how you will support your baby, and make plans to go to community college, or a technical school, to better your life for your child. Don't get stuck working a dead end job. Talk to your boyfriend. Find out if you have the child, what kind of a role he is willing to take.

It will be VERY hard for you, and your life will never be the same. But, it has been done before. Young women raise children alone everyday.

Also, if this would be your second abortion, then you should seriously consider getting on birth control pills.

Don't let judgemental people get you down. Do what your heart tells you, and stick to your guns. This is YOUR life, and no one elses.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Have you considered adoption? You may not realize that this isn't just a change, it is a total life change. Maybe if you found a good family to adopt, they would let you stay in your baby's life. That way you'll know they are in a good home, but you'll have a chance at education and all the other things that a 17-year-old should have a chance at too.

By the way, either you are kidding, or you really need a lesson on birth control, because I see you have posted this question quite a few times, and have mentioned that this isn't your first time with this scenario. If birth control pills make you feel sick, use a condom! Or better yet, if you can't figure out the whole safe sex thing, don't have sex at all! Then you won't be in this predicament.

Answer 6

OK sweety out of 60 answers, I didn't even bother reading through them before I answered. I'm going to answer you from my heart. And I hope this helps you out.

First off, honey it is your body. If he doesn't want you two suffer, there are other options other than abortion. Please remember that abortion is permanent. I'm sure you know that (Sorry, don't want to sound rude). There is no taking it back when it's done. Maybe you both could get jobs and save up money for the baby.

If not dear, then there is always the option of adoption. You could give the baby a chance at life, or have a family member foster the child until you are financially ready, there are plenty of options! You do have the rest of your life, but this baby is NOW, not in the future. So if you want the baby dear, go for it. If daddy doesn't want to support you and the baby, then screw him. You can do it.

My point is: Listen to YOUR heart, not anyone elses. Good luck to you hon.

If you need advise or someone to talk to, please contact me. I'm willing to help.

Answer 7

This is your decision, and not your boyfriend's.

He is right about one thing though - you two probably aren't ready to care for a baby. I would strongly suggest you do NOT have an abortion; rather give the baby up for adoption. You need to think of the baby first. It would be unfair to your fetus to abort simply because you made the choice to not use protection when you had sex. This way the baby can bring joy to a family who may not be able to have children.

You've been through this twice before? I would end the relationship if I were you, because it seems like this will continue to happen as long as you are together.

Answer 8

follow your heart. yes it may be difficult to raise a child but most things that are worth it are.

one thing you have to do is think long and hard before making this decision as it will affect you the rest of your life. once its done its done there is no taking it back. just remember what is true today will not be tomorrow and that what happened to your bf's brother may not hold true for you. bottom line its your child too and you should have a say. too it will not be a baby forever, it will grow and soon start school and some of the pressure financially will be off. my advice is that you sound as if you truly want this baby and would be aborting against your wishes and more out of desperation than anything which is exactly the wrong reason to have an abortion. if your bf truly loves you he will support you and stand by you and help raise his child with you.

your history with pregnancy is sad and i would suggest making sure you several forms of birth control so that this won't happen again. i worked as a counselor for women who have had abortions and as you know it is not easy mentally or physically to have one and it takes years to just learn to deal with it. i would also suggest you find a good counselor to help you through whatever decision you make and for the past. good luck.

Answer 9

Sweetie, it is entirely up to you whether you want to have an abortion, or not. He helped create it, but you make this choice because you are the one who has to deal with carrying the child for nine months not him. He needs to stop being so selfish and start putting others ahead of himself. Personally I think that every child deserves a chance. The child is the innocent one in the situation. It had no say so in what happend, so think about what you think would be best for yourself, and the baby. There are millions of people in the world who are unable to have children, and would love to adopt a child, but if you are really confused and unsure what to do, then have the child, and make the decision from there.

Answer 10

I'm not against abortion. But,
Did you ask to be born? No right!
Neither did your baby that you are carrying. You laid down and decided you were grown enough to have sex right? So now deal with the consequences of it. Esp if you already have an abortion already Hun you don't want to keep having abortions cause these guys want to have sex but don't wanna deal with the responsibility of being a "real man".
You should have learned from the last time. Remember when you consider something to be a mistake recognize it and never do it again. Learn from your mistakes. There are so many different types of birth control on the market now ( never use the patch!)
Girl do you realize how strong you are? You can take care of that baby by yourself. I'd rather give my child a chance at life rather than not giving my kid the option to live. Esp when i took the responsibility to create the kid then I'm gonna take his life what he heck?

Answer 11

well, if you guys are to young then why are you even pregnant, obviosly you did IT without tihnking that maybe we will have a baby!! i do not think of abortion as a good thing. you never know everyone is diffrent you can be very succesful or im sure you can borrow baby tihngs so you dont have to pay too much. beleive in yourself. having a baby is one of the best things that ever happened to someone. im telling you this baby could be a joy in your life when you come home you havea little adorable baby to welcome you. this baby is dependent on you, you would actually abort a baby..i cant beleve this..i dont even know why ppl should abort if your not ready for a babay then be careful not to get pregnant!!!