I've been seeing a guy for 4 months but is a long distance thing although we speak everyday, anyway for ages now I've wanted to know where I stand with him, I think he likes me but i can't get up the courage to ask him, how does this sound (it;s thrown into a mail casually) If you think it's too much pressure, how can I rewrite it?
"Anyway was just wondering what you think about me because have been a bit unsure since your phone call the other week and just wanted to know"
2006-11-13 09:17:27 · 28 answers · asked by Soso 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's SO meek and insecure-sounding, like a little girl.
Try, "Listen, Fred, in all honesty, I'd like to know where I stand with you."
Straightforward, no way he'll misunderstand the question, and makes you sound decisive and strong.
Don't be so worried about "pressure." Your version sounds like you're so afraid of what he'll think of you for asking. Be assertive! If you have a question, ask it!
2006-11-13 09:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds dithery.
It makes you sound insecure and sitting there pining over him not knowing what to do. Any person, whether male or female, generally warm up to people who help create their own destiny. nobody admires someone who hangs onto their every word and who waits for their go ahead to order their lives. just BE. what do i mean by that? well, u gotta say PLAINLY what's on your mind, because if he can't handle your innermost "concerns" then maybe he aint man enough for you?
I'd say something like:
Hi. Thanks for the call last week, its always good to hear from you, it always makes me smile and cheers me up somewhat. Can I ask you frankly where we stand with each other? Is this going anywhere, or are we just having fun here?
Thing is, if you don't feel comfortable enough with him to be as plain with us (strangers) as you'd like to be with him, then perhaps your "relationship" is just a surface thing, a dream, a bubble which can burst with just one wrong word...which is wrong, relationships are made of much stronger stuff. its not a bubble, it shouldnt feel like one, if it does, bow out gracefully, cause if he is estranged because of your plainness, then, he's probably just stringing you along for the sake of being in love with love.
Life's too short to be a spare wheel girl, level with him, face your fears and although it could mean life changing answers, at least you'll know which path to take now that you've reached these crossroads.
2006-11-13 09:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not following. You should edit what you wrote or something. It's confusing.
Oh wait.. I think I read it wrong. I think you should just tell him. If he calls you everyday that's sending a signal that he likes you so just ask him. I was in the same situation. I talked to this guy everyday but he lived like a town over from me and it was hard. I had no idea what we were and I did the wrong thing of not asking him. Instead, I stopped answering his phone calls and eventually he stopped calling. We're now just 'friends'. Just talking every once in awhile. So it's good that you're trying to tell him and get a straight answer from him.
2006-11-13 09:20:15 · answer #3 · answered by pacific_crush 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to be just a little bit more straight forward, so that you get a straight to the point answer.
Why don't you try something like.....
"We've been in touch with each other a while now, I was wondering where we stand with each other?"
Remember guys have very delicate ego's, he may have been wondering the same for ages but not had the courage to say anything.
Good luck!!
2006-11-13 09:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by Nutty Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he wouldn't be dating you if he didn't want to but maybe you should say " Anyway I was just wondering if everything was ok with us because you were acting a little strange in your phone call last week and i wanted to make sure you were ok." because it sounds less "omg does he like me or not" lol.
2006-11-13 09:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by Carol May 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make yourself unavailable to his calls for a few days and see what happens. Playing hard to get should bring his feelings into the open without you having to ask. Make excuses that youv'e been busy on a project or something like that.
2006-11-13 12:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you say, this may sound a bit weird, but we have been seeing each other for a while and I was just wondering how you felt about us, and me because on the phone the other day, I got the feeling that you were a bit worry about things
2006-11-13 09:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about putting him on the spot!!
I'm guessing that after 4 months, things should still be fresh and exciting, not pressuring eachother into a "Where are we headed as a couple?" scenario.
Even if you really do need to know, maybe you should just chill things and take your time.
A simple "Things feel really natural" should generate the desired response and if not then you at least know that he's not ready to commit that fully.
2006-11-13 09:25:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
long distance in my experience doesn't work but if you feel this is a guy you could have a good relationship with just ask him what level you and him are on casually seeing each other and free to date others or are we going to step it up a gear to no outside interference if he is hesitant blow him off and find a nice wee chappy to make you happy good luck in your choices.
2006-11-13 09:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationship it's like a long distance meal: you know it is exist but you cannot reach it and be sure how good or bad is it. Find something near by. More use and less uncertain
2006-11-13 09:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Everona97 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋