We used to be so close, like friends,ya' know.I'm afraid I'm loosing my mind,and she needs to cut me loose.But she is torn because of our history.How ,in a 16 yr./friendly/marriage way,do I tell I git/get it.sHE NEEDS TO BE FREE OF MY /ME.Without making her feel bad or responsible to get what she needs to bring sanity to HER life?She's worried how this 42 yr. only child will survive.She should be free because I've been drunk since she meet me.12 days ago I left detox.She's had children since she was 18.Then ..ME.......How I telln "Her i't's time to be You????
2006-11-13 09:12:44 · 15 answers · asked by woodstockghandii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be the man here. Tell her that youve lost that lovin feeling and you want to set her free. By telling her what youre saying above actually puts the blame on her that she wants to destroy the marriage,which in reality may be the case but after 16 yrs you dont want to do that to her. So be the man,swallow a little pride and take the blame upon yourself in setting her free. It doesnt affect men as bad if they take the blame and youll be a better person for it. Good luck
2006-11-13 09:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do pretty much what you just did. Tell her what you've said here. I was in your wife's shoes for 30 years. The last 8 have been absolutely miserable. I got to the end of what I could tolerate and we are both free. I'm in a great relationship and he's been sober for a year. Of course he had to spend six months of that year in a mental institution, but he's sober and that's what counts. We are still friends, in fact we are likely to have the friendliest divorce in divorce history. BTW, I am 49 and my ex is 51.
2006-11-13 09:19:08 · answer #2 · answered by Joanne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she probably wants is her husband, hes been gone soo long shes 4gotten how she loved him, nows your chance to make amends, Be the man she needs and deserves, look after her financially as well as emotionally and if you feel that after all that the love she had is still gone then at least u can part wivout her feeling responsible for you anymore, thereby succeeding in what you wanted to do in the first place! Good for you for finishing detox by the way, stay well, stay sober.
2006-11-13 09:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by sandy g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. Why don't you work on becoming the man that she saw in you 16-1/2 years ago? Step up to the plate and be the man that she needs you to be - a partner to her; a parent to your children. Get counseling, do whatever it takes. Then, she'll have a choice to stay or go.
2006-11-13 09:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are scared and can't bring yourself to tell her to be herself because you are afraid to be you. You bury yourself in a bottle and tell yourself that people want to be around that guy when just the opposite is true. You are afraid to be who you are because you are afraid you are,or are going to be like,your father. So what? What will that make you? What have you become? What if you decide to be yourself and you are not like your father? Wouldn't that suck. I am pissed you left detox. I have been too soft with you, you need a kick in the ***! MAN UP and stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop trying to hide it by being contrite with your wife. It won't work with me. I do/say this cause'.....................(DAM IT!) I love you, Your Brother
2006-11-14 03:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by your brother 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your giving up on a wife who loves you. You have a problem, you need to fix it. You have a chance, my marriage fell apart because I mistreated my ex. She left me for another man. I was heart broken, I could nt get over her. One day God touched my heart, I gave my life to Jesus, I am healed now. The Lord can fix anything if you invited Him into your heart and ask Him to help ya....From someone who cares....good luck my friend
2006-11-13 09:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think Arthur has it right. she's tired of being at fault for everything. and you need to be a man. stand up take responsibility for your own actions. Quit blaming her and making excuses for your behavior.
2006-11-13 23:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by mgtilda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are going this route instead of standing up, staying sober and making it up to her? Do you suppose you have nothing left to give or are you blaming her for your plight?
2006-11-13 09:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
solid one, i had study it formerly and it makes me snicker, yet mine had a playstation on it... it went, playstation , that is extremely warm down the following. it also had a ingredient the position he reported they'd pcs to deliver messages for your household, it made the message all extra a probability
2016-11-29 02:48:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know she deserve better than seriously explain that to her while your making plans to exit her life. If she wont leave you, than you leave.
If she loves you ( and it sounds like she does) she maybe waiting for you after you clean yourself up.
good luck
2006-11-13 09:21:57 · answer #10 · answered by val l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋