I am filing from my husband. We have an 11 year old and a 5 year old. He is never home. He is always hunting and fishing... I mean he is gone every morning before we wake up and he doesn't get back home until we are in bed. We hardly ever get to see him. On occassions, and I do mean occassions when he is home all he does is complain or fuss and hollar at the kids. (From the bedroom) because when he is home he stays in the bed asleep or in the bedroom watching T.V. We have been together for 6 years (he adopted my son). In 6 years we have probably been all in the car together maybe 4 times. He never does anything with us. And he doesn't understand why I want a divorce... Am I wrong for wanting a divorce?
2006-11-13 08:59:12 · 21 answers · asked by jeter2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have told him and told him. He thinks that as long as he helps pays the bills. That should be good enough.
2006-11-13 09:07:36 · update #1
You are right, he has negleted you and the kids. You have held everything together ob your own as he abandoned you emotionally and psysically. You are right and I commend you for doing the right thing.
What a loser he is! Let the deers keep him company and iron his shirts!
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-11-13 09:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh this sounds like what I go through except my husband doesnt fish. Its hard to not have these feelings towards him I feel lonely a lot of the time and a single mom because he isnt ever here and when i get upset about him not getting as involved with us whenever he can he gets mad so I totally understand where your coming from. I know my husband loves me and he is a good provider for our family but he needs to get involved and so does your husband. He is the husband and the father his role is to be a lover,security,partner,friend,and mostly important a father and that means getting involved with his children and being the man you all look up to and enjoying life with. You can only try to get it into his head what you want and that is for him to participate in this family and if he doesnt you have to decide should I leave or stay? I hope you can get him to change but if not I hope you and your kids live a happier life.
2006-11-13 17:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I don't blame you. After all, what exactly are you getting out of this mutual relationship. It should be a win-win situation, not a win-lose one. The only other thing I could suggest is counseling, but it sounds to me tha this isn't something this guy would be remotely interested in. I am divorced, and it's a hard decision to make, but looking back now, I am glad I made the right one. He was pretty "absentee" from our life, and I couldn't take it anymore. So I understand.
2006-11-13 17:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by nottashygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. All I can say is in order for you to raise your kids right they need to be in a healthy environment. It may not sound to serious to some people but in all honesty it's up to you. When I left my previous relationship I ask myself is this how I want my kids to think a relationship is supposed to be like. I went from there.By the way my ex is a good person we just didn't bring out the best in each other. Good luck and keep your head up its not easy.
2006-11-13 17:05:37 · answer #4 · answered by kristyna s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your children deserve SO much better! How sad for them. You're a strong lady to put up with this and in essence you're raising your kids alone. Heck, what do you need him for? I think you and your children will be much happier without him. Move on, find someone that is worthy of you and doesn't take you for granted. The children will be so much happier in the long run and you too! Good luck!
2006-11-13 17:08:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should put some deep.....deep thinking into this. But you should try couples counseling and then family therapy.
Do it at least for the sake of the children, so you can at least tell them that you both tried as hard as you could.
it hurts me to see my parent's getting divorced and i am in my 20's but I still have a 4 yr old sister with them.
(think through this for the kids)
2006-11-13 17:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by 2pretty4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your husband or you don't want a divorce, then something is telling you that you are both meant to be together BUT have to straighten things out. Seek spriitual guidance. If you go to church, talk to your pastor. Find the ROOT cause of his enstrangement. He might be holding something from you and if afraid or ashame to tell you. You need to open to whatever he tells you.
Don't give up all those years spent together. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!
2006-11-13 17:23:15 · answer #7 · answered by KS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like he's more interested in taken care of himself. i didn't see the word "work" in your text so i presume he's got some supplies.
Also it is not good to give something else to your boy to worry about as this can break his heart when you say to him that Mr. Holidays is going somewhere else. Sounds like your son adopted him not the other way around.
Give your self some self respect and put an end to it before its to late or seek some professional help.
Best of luck.
2006-11-13 17:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by Maka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been married as long as you but my husband is the same way about hunting. I would say to try couseling and see if you can work through your problems that way. if he is unwilling to compromise then maybe separation would work to let him know that this isn't acceptable. With children involved I know it must be hard, but good luck.
2006-11-13 17:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't wrong for wanting a husband who participates in your marriage. If you've talked to him, tried to get him to understand, if you've let him know that you aren't going to tolerate that from him any longer, and he understands this, then no you aren't wrong for wanting a divorce. You and your children deserve better.
2006-11-13 17:03:25 · answer #10 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋