my dad left my mom about a month ago..he jus left and got his own place. We all didn't kno til he walked out with is stuff. He left with this girl name Coco. My mom has been married to him for 15 years. She cries about it all the time. Everytime I see him I get so mad. I hate him. My dad is a officer. When he was on duty he was driving and hit a woman. He killed her instantly. He was on the news and ppl new he was my father. (you can imagine how tht went -_-) he said he had to got to nashville to clear his head. Turns out he jus went to be with this woman. My mom asked him about it and he jus said to leave him alone. He is STILL married to my mother. I am so disgusted of the way he's acting. And how he treats my mom...he didn't even pay his respects to the family he scarred! I hate him..I do....ppl say it's wrong..but I wanna kno. Can you blame me? Am I wrong for hating him?
2006-11-13 08:38:47 · 10 answers · asked by YumiJam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NEW PART about the accident. my dad came to see us after the accident. He was off work..and still is. He didn't even react to it..he smiled and laughed like things were ok. I thought he was jus in denial...but..it's been a week and he still tht way..I don't understand..the week he been off he could've came to see us...but he didn't want to..my brother hurts...he wants my dad to love him..my dad doesn't love us..he told us..he was'nt mad or anything..he jus said it. I have no father.
2006-11-13 08:52:59 · update #1
Hate is such a draining emotion. Yeah, he's a jerk and a terrible husband and father... but hating him won't make that change. Focus on healing yourself and your family. Hating only makes you bitter... just realize that he probably hates himself more than you could ever hate him, and that you will never change the way he is
2006-11-13 08:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by elfkin, attention whore 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you only hate how your father is acting. I don't think you hated him before this mess started. Your father is obviously trying to start over since the accident. This is his way of coping. How is he treating you? How he treats your mother is your mother's problem. You can't dictate how other people feel or what they do. You are not a baby anymore. At 15 I am sure you have your own life separate from your fathers. Get on with it and be happy you still have your mom, hopefully she is a strong woman and will come out of this better now that her weak spineless spouse is out of the picture. (you said he left, he didn't divorce her so legally and financially she might be better off then if he divorced her)
2006-11-13 16:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for hating him, in fact he seems to be asking for that reaction. BUT-that doesn't make it the right response. Have you confronted him-even yelling at him and telling him everything you are feeling is better than keeping it bottled up. You and your Mother deserve much more than what he is giving you right now. He needs to be clear on where he stands in the marriage-either end it or stop cheating and get things right. He has no excuse, but he may be truly running away from the accident, afraid he might hurt one of you next time (not saying there will be a next time). Does he seem happy? I couldn't imagine someone who killed someone, accidentally or not, to be going around all honky dory.
2006-11-13 16:46:28 · answer #3 · answered by Alison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop! You are tearing yourself up inside. I'm sure it was an accident that he killed that woman, or he would have gotten into a lot of trouble. I'm sorry to hear that he left your mom, but perhaps it's best -- if he was/is miserable in some way....
You might feel better expressing to your Dad how you feel. No matter what, he's still your father -- and I'm sure he loves you very much, even if he isn't in love with your mom anymore....Again, sorry to hear it -- but let go of the hatred! Hatred is more harmful than good in most situations especially this one. If you are a Christian, ask God to take away the pain and hatred, he will....Peace sister....
2006-11-13 16:49:36 · answer #4 · answered by highendsystems 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should never hate your father. He is going through something and he may not be handling it in the best way. Killing someone accidentally has more than likely caused him a lot of emotional damage and him leaving is his way of acting out. You have a right to be angry with the way he is handling things but don't hate him. Hopefully he will get his head clear and make some sense of what has become of his life. Pray for him and for yourself.
2006-11-13 16:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't blame you one bit honey, but try to leave this between your mother and father. You do not need this stress. I am sure he still loves you. Your Mother's world has just crashed! Be there for her but try not to let it scar you. I'm so sorry that you are going thru this. Maybe try to get your mom to take you all to counseling?
2006-11-13 16:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I don't think that you hate him. Look deep in your heart and you will discover you don't hate him. I believe that you really hate what he has done. You have every right to be angry and hate what he has done to you and your family. Yes It's alright to be mad. Let it out and move on. He will one day regret the fact that he left you and your mom.
2006-11-13 16:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is a very strong word to use in reference to anybody. You definitely are angry at him and you have every right to be. He is an embarrassment to you.
I am not sure what is going on with your dad but he is in a real hell.
2006-11-13 16:48:08 · answer #8 · answered by mecasa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just be helpful to your mother through this honey. be there for her when you know how bad she is hurting inside. don't get involved in this. just be strong an be there for her.
2006-11-13 16:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2006-11-13 16:40:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋