Heres a song I wrote, help finish it, what do you think?

Question

She was the problem, so she was told day after day,
So she did her best to stay out of his way.
She’d sit there on her bed, waiting for him to come home,
She’d hear his heavy boots come close, and pray he’d leave her alone.

The neighbors heard the screaming, but they chose to ignore,
They turned up their tv sets till they heard the sounds no more.

Turn out the lights, let her be, all the signs we failed to see,
Those bruises were more than accidents, a young lost soul with no defense.
And we all wondered, but never dared to ask,
And now she’s lying on the floor with one last.. gasping breath,
And in the morning papers they will announce her death.

But it's just another story on the back of the second page, no big deal, it happens everyday.
Have you ever stopped to think, that you could have made the diffrence, that that little girl was crying out, you heard her, but did you listen?

Answer 1

Very good sorry i aint got the time to help you finish. Dont let others tell you this is bad, its actually pretty good. Keep it up, let ur emotions out

Answer 2

Now you wish you'd heard the plea that she sent,
You tried to block it out , the sounds you did resent.
But now it's weighing on your mind, too late now is seems.
You should have listened, responded to those little screams.
You feel a lot of guilt, now it's weighing on your heart
But it's a little late, You should have listened from the start.

Answer 3

Here is a middle 8 for you:

And with her fingers she scrolled out a name,
The wooden floor will never look the same....
of the cruel weakness she did endure,
of her life,
that night,
with her blood wet from the fight,
His named stained to her right,
as she died that night, alone,
In her own home ..............

Good luck !!!!
& nice lyrics ..... for a sad story .....

Answer 4

Not really, but only b/cuz It reminds me too much of the 2nd verse of the country song "What if She's an Angel", by Tommy Shane Steimer. (I do like that song, but it has three different scenarios, not just one)

Answer 5

wish now you had a say .. hope to god he heard her pray
wake up late, another day one she didn't see
but you're OK..
feel a pain down deep inside
never mind it will subside
too late to rearrange ..it's over now the winds have changed

Answer 6

Very good. You might have a tweak a word here and there to make it flow, but it is good! Good luck finishing!

Answer 7

Sound finished to me Which bit is the chorus?

Answer 8

i think you really don't need anymore words all has been expressed.

You need lyrics
a tune And you are on your way

a short to the point song!
cut a cd

Answer 9

It sounds like you are depressed.And it rhymes a little too much.

Answer 10

Nothing more to add - you said it all. To bad Elvis is gone would have been a great follow-up to:ghetto" Very good: I give you **********stars!!!!!!!!