Just asking out of interest really. I'm 30, married andv happy with my husband. I really want a baby but when I think about it too hard I think No I'm not ready. But I would make a good mum I know I would but I just can't be 100% in my head. But then I've never been the broody type thats gone mad over other people babies. Is this normal???? What does anyone think?
2006-11-13 08:01:24 · 38 answers · asked by Katie G 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
yes , try for a baby, now as it is not your right but a privilege, if you are lucky enough to create a new person with the man you love you will be very lucky. it is never the right time when discussing money, job, holidays etc but when you bring your new born home and look into their eyes and , then you will know it is the time.
2006-11-13 08:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by rovingcard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a little like myself. I'm 31 and always thought i'd have kids one day but could never quite pinpoint when that day would be, there was always one more place I wanted to visit or one more room to redecorate. Also like yourself I never got completely gooey-eyed over babies the way some people do.
Then, against all odds, I found out that I was pregnant. Shockingly I was already five months gone when I found out, so it was too late for me to have any kind of choice. The thought of having a baby suddenly scared the hell out of me. I gave birth to a baby boy 3 weeks ago, and it's definitely the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's true what people say, you think completely differently about children when they're your own. He's probably the most perfect thing i've ever seen.
The moral of this story ? Not sure really.... If you think you'll make a good mother and you're in a happy stable relationship then why not give it a whirl. It will change your life !
2006-11-13 08:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by Gail H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me! I was never the broody, maternal type and hadn't had much experience with babies. I didn't know if I would be a good mum, but I was certain that I would be the best mum I could be.
The difference was that I was 100% sure when I was ready for a baby. I agree with people above, that if you are questioning it, you're not ready. You will know when you are, if you are. What does your husband think - have the two of you talked it over? Maybe you and he could resolve whatever worries you have together and reach a mutual conclusion!
2006-11-13 08:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by xaulleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some people who can get through life without a need to have their own children, maybe this is you, that's not to say you wouldn't be happy or be a good mum if you did. You are in a ideal situation to start a family, but you and your husband are the only ones who can answer this. What are your reasons for really wanting a baby . . friends have babies? Family want grandchildren? If you can find the reasons for wanting to do this for yourselves them I'm sure you'll have no doubt anymore. And at 30 you may not have all that long left to decide.
2006-11-13 08:36:23 · answer #4 · answered by suzi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just having normal second thoughts. Bringing a new being in to the world who you are solely responsible for for the rest of your life is a scary thought. And it is hard work. A lot of people don't get the chance to think about it as they become pregnant unexpectedly. Just because you don't go mad over other peoples babies doesn't mean you won't love your own. I was never baby crazy until I had my own 2 and now I wouldn't be without them. A baby is life changing but completely worth it. You do want a baby and you are in a loving, stable relationship and those are the best grounds to bring a baby in to the world. Ultimately it is up to you whether you have one or not but if you do then I know you won't regret it!
2006-11-13 11:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is 100% prepared to be a mother, unless you've spent a lot of time close to a new mother (like a sister or as a nanny). You simply have no idea what to expect. Even being near a new mother doesn't help you understand the hormonal shifts etc.
Being a mother is a transformation, and for those of us in this day and age it can be a hard one. I know myself it is taking me the better part of 7 year to really be comfortable with someone else (the kids) running my life. We, as women of this generation, are trained to take care of ourselves, not to rely upon a man for our happiness - and then everyone is surprised that we are not comfortable with the reverse of these things in early motherhood.
If you feel you are ready, great. My advice to you is to sit back and be secure in that knowledge. You never have to worry about missing a period again! But don't miss out on these last few months or years of being the master of your own life. Go on vacation, eat out, and have nothing in the fridge but cola and ham while you can. Before long you will have that kid and be glad just to be sleeping. Motherhood is wonderful, but you can never go back. Enjoy what you have now.
Peace!
PS - I had my first kid when I was 33 and the second at 36 (and I know lots of mothers in the same age range as me), but know women who were much younger and some who didn't have their first until they were 40. There are so many options. Kids come when they are ready.
2006-11-13 08:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by carole 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
considering the amount of thought you put into it probably means you'll be a better mom than most. Then again, WHY do you think you are not ready?
I usually listen to those deep voices and it has worked out for me but I am not much of a breeder so I would probably not be the best one to answer this. Dangit, too late again.
One more thought: the thing about this baby-making is that there is a definite time-limit. Which makes all the ladyfriends around me (I'm 33) a little crazy. Biology is a powerful thing. Who knows, if the calling comes, you might not be able to think at all?
2006-11-13 08:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am younger, but I never hold an infant until my baby girl was born. I never stoped to look at others babys, or begged to hold others kids, but when I had mine, It changed everything. I help that perfect angle in my arms and fell in love. Becoming a mother is very natural. At first you may feel like you have no clue waht you are doing, but when the time comes, it all comes naturally. I had never read about babys, let alone changed a diaper! but somehow I knew how. It was cool. I would highly recomend having a baby. You have alot of life behind you and if you are thinking about having kids, then you probably want one. I would recomend you do it. Having kids is one of the best things a women can do. The experience is great and wonderful. good luck and I hope you decide to experience this wonderful experience.
2006-11-13 08:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! You are clearly a responsible adult ready to talk about a hard choice.
I'm 28 and just had my first baby after 3 yrs of debate. Its the most wonderful thing in the world. Kissing that sweet face makes up for all the crying and spit up in the world.
Don't worry about not loving other children. Whats to love, they often interrupt dinner in a restaurant, there messy, and sometimes smell. But your kids will be the cutest, sweetest smelling, well behaved angels....Its just how it is.
Your mothering instinct is just kicking in. Your Young, you have plenty of time! What does your hubby think? Is he ready?
Just take your time, don't let anyone pressure you into it. Just believe in yourself and you'll make the right decision.
2006-11-13 12:28:33 · answer #9 · answered by Nolan G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you never know for sure!
My son is 13 months now and the past year has gone so quick and it scares me to think of all the things to come - but only for a split second then I'm looking forward to all the happy times again.
I was 21 when I found out, in a long term relationship, owned our own home and was very happy but a baby wasn't on the list of things to do but we wouldn't change it now!
2006-11-14 00:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one ever can be 100% ready for children until they come. It's scary and unknown, and there's always other things we could be doing with our time. But when once you are pregnant, you will feel ready and be very glad that you made the leap!
I felt the same as you, I really wanted a baby, but kept thinking of reasons why 'not now'. Then I got pregnant accidentally and it's the best thing ever and I'm so glad it happened.
2006-11-13 19:52:36 · answer #11 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋