don't want child to know dad's history?

Answer 1

well with very little detailes it is hard to figure out what your question is. If you are scared to tell your child about a bad back ground then only tell the good. Remember that your child is part of that guy, and it is important that they are not told bad things that will reflect on their own personality. I did not meet my dad until I was 18, and when I met him I though he was ok, (my mom taught me to believe he was the worst person in the world, witch made me feel like I was worthless) He did/does have some problems, he is a drug user and an alcoholic, but is still a great dad. I wish things were better, but that is all up to him. I would hope that you don't hide who the real father is, but mabey just not tell all. good luck

Answer 2

I'm guessing you're the mom. I have a similar situation. I'm lucky though, that my husband has adopted my daughter and she doesn't remember my first husband (her biological father). I have saved some pictures and stuff from her paternal DNA donor that I have put in a photo album along with a letter explaining who he was, some information she could use to find him if she want and why we left (abuse). I haven't put anything in the letter about his criminal record or anything. I plan on giving her the book when I feel she is mature enough to understand at least why I left him. Until that time, I simply don't talk about him anymore. My reasoning for now is the less said the better things are.
If your child so young that they don't remember the father after a while, I would suggest a similar course of action. If they are older, you could simply talk about the positive things when they bring him up in a conversation and simply not say anything about any bad history.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Don't lead them towards what you dont want them exposed to. For example you simply should not expect to want your child not to smoke if you smoke in-front of them. So if it's something you don't your child to know of, keep them away from it, not just the subject but the whole element of the situation. Don't smoke in-front of your child--don't smoke at all. It's up to them what they choose when they become an adult you know that? So make sure it's something that won't get you into more trouble with just being honest but first you must accept the truth which don't seem to be the case.

Answer 4

Don't want child to know mom's a lier too? Tell em the truth, they deserve to know if they don't go blabbing it about, cause if they do that it will come back to bite them in the butt when they meet mean kids in later life. What are you gonna do if they ask questions, lie until the kids find out the truth and also find out you have been feeding them lies all their life? Tell them the truth as soon as they ask. You do not need to go tell them, just tell them if they ask, and try not to make the dad sound like a complete monster.

Answer 5

My dad never told his second wife's kids that he had been married briefly to my mother. At 18 I found him and boy did that upset a lot of people in the family!!!
My husband was in prison for 3 yrs, before I knew him . We told our daughter at about 5yrs, before a vindictive grandmother got to it. The kid took it with a grain of salt and later at about 10 asked a lot of questions, but it was no big deal. Best of all, we never had to keep secrets.
I hate to find out everyone else knew and I was the last to know.
It's different for everyone, but I would rather the truth was out there.

Answer 6

You should never lie for your child because this might come back to hunt you. Tell the truth always no matter how hard is. Your child will be thankful that you did. When he/she gets old enough to understand and start to make questions you shouls tell the truth

Answer 7

You dont want to know: You do not have to know your father's history if you don't want to. If you would rather not know him that is your right too. Don't allow someone to force their belief that you should know, that is usually them projecting their guilt onto you.
You don't want "Your" child to know: You don't have to share that information if you don't want to. If you think it would hurt your child or it would cause emotional pain for your child, don't share it.Ask your self what the end product would be, would it be something that could damage their self esteem, or would it be something that could damage the relationship that you have with your child. If it is, I would not share that info.

Answer 8

the truth always comes out. Tell the child when they are old enough to understand. Say mid teens 16-17.

Answer 9

they have a right to know so i would tell them if they asked when u feel they r old enough to understand i would say 15-18 but like i said when u feel they r old enough not what some one else says u will know ur their mother not someone on here or anywhere else for that matter

Answer 10

The question is not clear! BUT, the children must discover themselves; do not poison the mind of kids with FACTS, they do not understand the FACTS, let them enjoy their childhood! Sometimes a Truth may kill, or destroy a child life.