i recently found out my huby had affair with a lady that is 60 and he is 50, he knows i hated her and despised her for causing pain to my daughter. My daughter dated her son and he was very abusive to her.She also worked at his place of employment, co workers imformed me of the affair so two years later he confessed it was only one time thing but i hear other stories from co workers, this woman calls me tells things that only i know i have told my husband but he swears it over, But few months bfore than he got smacked it face from a another girls hubby for having sex with her,and once again he lied about it, 6 months later confessed, than 3months after that he was with this other woman again, should i kick him to curb we have been married 30 years 4 kids and grandchildren?
2006-11-13 07:51:03 · 28 answers · asked by wonderingwife 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to ask yourself that question...how can you forgive him? Is this something that you're going to be able to live with for the rest of your life? Or, are you always going to be wondering what he's doing when he's not home?
2006-11-13 07:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, do you deserve this? Yes, kick him to the curb! He will keep cheating on you. I don't understand why some people (not always men) cannot be monogamous, but it is a real job for them. Being true to someone you love should never be work. Don't think that you will never meet anyone else either. I was just married last Spring and I was 50. We were both in relationships where we were not appreciated. You can find happiness, even if it is with yourself, your work and your children. You don't need the constant pain in your life. Time for a Husband-ectomy!
2006-11-13 08:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I sound like I'm picking on you, but I'm not. But, people like you amaze me. Why are you on here asking questions that are totally obvious and all you have to do is be an adult and make a decision.
1. If you can live knowing your spouse cheats and will do it again, then forgive him, shut up and enjoy what you can of your life.
2. If you don't want to live this kind of life, call a lawyer and have him do the rest for you.
There is no other choice. The ball is in your court. Do what you need to do or quit whining and live the life that you're selected to live. Don't think you'll ever change him, you'll only be living a lie.
TX Guy
2006-11-13 08:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some thing that occurred over 25 years in the past almost ruined my life. each and each and every time i concept about it, the hatred back. even in spite of the actuality that the guy to blame not in any respect requested for my forgiveness, i eventually did. some different person in contact did ask and through that factor I had enable bypass of the animosity. There are some issues which ensue in life that can't in any respect be forgiven or forgotten. i'm happy I chosen to not enable it damage what years I have left.
2016-11-23 19:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely kick him to the curb. The only way I would let him stay is if he were to attend intense counseling alone and with you AND to sign a contract stating that if he were to cheat again you get everything. A man like that will only shape up if there are actual consequences to his actions. Right now he thinks he can keep doing this and get away with it.
I would also make him get checked for STD's. You don't really know who else he's been with or who his partner's have been with.
Good luck to you - I've been in your shoes and don't envy you.
2006-11-13 08:02:46 · answer #5 · answered by greyrider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Outa there. How could you keep from vomiting in his face????? Marriage is Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust. He has none of the first three for you, and has betrayed your trust. He has shared his body and soul with another woman. My only question is why are you still there, hon???? You don't have a marriage, you have a roommate, sweetie, kids or no kids, 30 years of marriage or no 30 years of marriage...it's over unless you choose to be in such a painful situation.
2006-11-13 07:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like he has done nothing but destroy your nmarraige and it appears he is not going to stop cheating on you it is time to say goodbye and take him to the cleaners even though you are older it doesn't mean you will not find a better guy for you and lastly you have to stop taking this abuse from your hubby until you do something about it like leave him he will continue to walk all over you. Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-11-13 08:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this time, it sounds like your children have grown up--or are past that point where mommy and daddys divorce would be very detrimental to their everyday lives. You have found out about his recent affairs, and after 30 yrs of marraige, do think that his infidelity just started? I doubt it.. Yes, it will be very hard to leave and start your life independently, but I feel that since your husband has betrayed you and even told his mistress very personal things.. I would definetely say you need to leave him--- for your own mental sanity!
2006-11-13 08:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by 920135 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this world we have to learn to forgive. This is very important, and so we do forgive. That doesn't mean that you stay. Forgiving frees your heart so you don't carry this forward every day with you. His acts are horrible. I don't think anybody wants to keep something such as that buried in their heart for even a second. Have strength and move on in life for he was the one who blew it and you are not required to be there for him at all at this point. It doesn't matter if it was 2 years or 40 years, he's history. Go get your freedom, and have faith in the future.
2006-11-13 10:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
30 years is a long time, and if he has had this many affairs in such a short time, I would have to believe he has been having them for a very long time. I am sure your children would understand if you parted ways with your husband. Let them know why you are divorcing, but don't bad mouth him in any other way.
Don't stay married for convenience, make yourself happy!
2006-11-13 07:59:00 · answer #10 · answered by bam.... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! You can forgive him, but why should you live with him, he broke the trust, time to kick him to the curb. God does not expect you to live like that. He wants you to be at peace. God's word says the only reason for a divorce is marital unfaithfulness......good luck and take care.
2006-11-13 08:05:27 · answer #11 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋