I have a theory that happiness is based on achieving satisfaction. Am I right?

Question

I have come to the conclusion that happiness cannot be sustained as a permanent state of mind, only as moments in time. Looking back at my life (All 40 years of it!), I realise I am at my happiest during times of satisfaction. For example, helping someone or doing something well. It's not what others think that makes me happy but what I feel inside. I never thought of it that way before. I was happy when I'd swam a good race, handed in work assignments on time, paid all my bills, earned a day off! Nothing major but important to me. I realise buying stuff doesn't make me happy unless I give it away and having a perfect house isn't worth it, only friends and family enjoying time in it with me counts! What truly makes you happy?

Answer 1

You've just about figured it out - look up "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs" or (more commonly) Maslow's Triangle.
I won't give any links as you sound like the sort of person who'll get a kick out of finding out for yourself.

Answer 2

I really agree with you that most people do experience happiness through satisfaction, but I guess that I am wired a bit differently because I also find great satisfaction when I mess up because something good always comes of it for example if I learn a lesson from it, that is good, if it backfires and something good happens as a result, i find satisfaction, sooo I guess you could say I can find happiness in my misery too. Still, I think for the majority your theory is probably the more probable.

Answer 3

There's an approach in Psychology called the humanistic approach...it basically says that to get the most out of life, you need to be the best you can be. If we achieve our goals, we know we've worked hard, we've done what we wanted to do and, more often than not, other people are impressed by us and proud of us, which is something that makes us feel good! Sounds to me like you're intrinsically motivated too, which I reckon makes for a less materialistic and more appreciative person - it means you set and achieve goals for your own satisfaction and to make you feel good about yourself and to help other people, rather than extrinsic motivation, which is where people set and achieve goals for external rewards, e.g. money, praise etc.

I agree, I could be on the most amazing beach in the world, sipping the most delicious cocktail and sunning myself in the perfect weather, but it wouldn't be anywhere near as good if my family and friends weren't there!

Answer 4

You have basically summarized Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Maslow has set up a hierarchy of five levels of basic needs. Beyond these needs, higher levels of needs exist. These include needs for understanding, esthetic appreciation and purely spiritual needs. In the levels of the five basic needs, the person does not feel the second need until the demands of the first have been satisfied, nor the third until the second has been satisfied, and so on. Maslow's basic needs are as follows:

Physiological Needs
These are biological needs. They consist of needs for oxygen, food, water, and a relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if a person were deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person's search for satisfaction.

Safety Needs
When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe.

Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness
When the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belongingness can emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging.

Needs for Esteem
When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless.

Needs for Self-Actualization
When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves felt in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization.
I agree with you. Buying things doesn't make me feel satisfied. People who base their happiness on material things usually want more. I am hoping that I will finally achieve some semblance of perfect happiness when my husband and I finally have a child.

Answer 5

Happiness Is A State Of Mind.
I think it takes different things to make different people happy.
I am happiest when my loved ones are happy and well.
They say money doesn't buy happiness, but you can't be happy if you don't have money to pay your bills.
But my happiest times have been when I was with someone I care the most for, just sitting talking, taking a walk, just being close, feeling love.

Answer 6

According to New Age spirituality- Inner peace can be achieved as a permenanent state. If we could just shut up and enjoy every moment that we have we would all be joyful but humans tend to make everything so complicated.

Read this book called "The Power of NOW" by Eckhart Tolle who talks about how to achieve enlightenment and inner peace.

Answer 7

Disagree with the 'constant love of others' given in an earlier answer.

That would feel like too much ~ almost claustrophobia!

I agree with thee, on the whole. But, for me, it's about having made a connection with a fellow human being where there has been a mutual exchange, where both have recognised and acknowledged this thing that passed between us. And / Or, of having established my creditability and integrity ~ and of feeling centred / earthed.

Sash.

Answer 8

True happiness is found in one word LOVE. Not a pseudo- love or strong liking,but simple genuinely felt and 'held within you truly' love. Love of yourself as a unique part of the universe with an absolute reason for being here (otherwise the universe wouldn,t have included you in the first place!) A love of the knowingness of your life, deeply within you but impossible to explain outwardly to others. However the universe completely understands so no words necessary.

Happiness is also about other peoples happiness. Make them happy, make yourself happier by doing so and this circular benefit expands forever just as the universe itself does.

True happiness is a mixture of a lot of small happinesses that you spread across the people you meet with simple heartfelt gladness to paint swathes of joy.

The happiest people you will ever meet radiate a full up joy, made up of millions of happy outpourings given genuinely to others, they are so full of happiness simply because they filled other peoples buckets of joy at every opportunity.

If you want to be happy-spread it everywhere.

Think of the opposites - be miserable spread misery, be angry spread anger, be a warrior spread war. So in the truest sense, we get for ourselves what we spread to others.

In the same way as I am now taking time to write this to make you the questioner happy, i am making myself happier simply doing so.

And to me that is the best love you can have for a fellow human and that is what makes me truly happy.

Answer 9

I think that happiness comes from peace of mind. I am happy with few "things" and people. I need to be loved unconditionally by my family and my mate. I am happy with my intellectual match and how we stimulate each other's intellect and spur each other on to learn more. I am happy when I look and feel well. I am happy when I can be outside on a beautiful day. I am happy when I can do something that makes someone else's life easier or better.

Ultimately, I think that happiness is acceptance of yourself and peace of mind.

Answer 10

I can't speak for others but I do feel happiness with a sense of achievement. Not everyone is as goal-driven as me though! I try and do lots of good deeds and focus on achievement. Even if iuts just a smile or 'please and thankyou's. Saying that, I am truly happy when I spend time with my other half. Even if I do have to watch footie!

Answer 11

I think i'm a bit of a nihilist, but sensory things make me most happy. Nice smells, good songs, and being completely comfortable. With response to your statement that it's not what others think that makes you happy but how you feel, what would you feel if you did something that you knew would help someone but they didn't want you to do it? For example, an intervention. You would be satisfied but would you consider yourself happy? Curious.