okay, I have a bad habit of going through my husband things, such as cell phone, pockets things of that nature. I never find anything. He calls me Dora the Explora. How can I stop doing this?
2006-11-13 07:07:46 · 39 answers · asked by its just me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. I do the same thing! It feels ugly huh? I hate it too. Well what I've done is just stopped looking through his stuff on purpose, so for example when I see his cell just sitting there I just tell myself NO don't look through it and I go hang out with him. I talk to him and do something that takes my thinking away from that urge. I admit I still look through his stuff every once in awhile, but not on a daily status. It's a complicated issue... but I hope I was of some help. At least you know your not alone.
2006-11-13 07:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by M&M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trusting your husband is an important factor in having a healthy relationship. You must ask yourself what has caused you to have this insecurity, then deal with that issue. You can only be accountable for you actions. If your husband is hiding something you will find out regardless. Give you husband the benefit of the doubt.
2006-11-13 07:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by newcreature74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you never find anything, why do it? Everytime you think about being nosey, make yourself get busy or immersed in something else to take the attention away and ask yourself that question. Try treating it as a bad habit that you have to get rid of and practice self control over. Their is actually a book out about how to break bad habits by the people who make the "complete idiot's guide to....." books. Good luck
2006-11-13 07:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by CarolinaGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a lack of trust on your part. It could be caused from something in your past. I think that it would be a good idea to do some soul searching and see what it is that makes you do this. Then sit down with him and talk about it.
A lack of trust just might be the biggest reason that most marriages fail.
Get hold of yourself before you do REAL damage to your relationship.
2006-11-13 07:15:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You clearly have trust issues. Perhaps it is time to talk to someone about that. A clergy? A friend? A counselor? Focus on his good qualities. Focus on making him feel glad that he comes home to you each night. Be creative and thoughtful and romantic...like putting notes of love on the pillow, his briefcase/lunch whatever. For every day that he comes home and is faithful to you, take that as assurance that he is different and that he loves you. He hasn't given you a reason not to trust him? Then let it go. Your actions may push him toward the very thing that you are worried about. Change your attitude, and 'count your many blessings'. good luck.
2006-11-13 07:14:17 · answer #5 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has nothing to hide...Why are you hell bent on finding something to be unhappy about? Do you find that you are not content without doing this? I think that this stems from something deeper. Maybe you should write down what you are feeling/thinking before you go exploring and then write down your thoughts afterwards...Try to find out what you are really looking for and why you do this. At some point this will bother your husband if it doesn't already.
2006-11-13 07:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you had no reason to suspect anything and went diving for info and still found nothing... and he hasn't gotten angry about this? You have no idea how good you got it. Just chill out - he's not cheating on you or anything. Take up knitting, get a hobby, write a novel.
2006-11-13 07:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by Masta Batang Dollar Billz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you go through his things cause some reason you dont trust him. has he ever doubt you? If you never find anything especailly the first time, then he isnt doing anything. But if he is, then he knows you are going through his stuff, and he knows to hid it before you see it. If you trust him and you now resaon to suspect anything, then you have to stop,cause im sure you woulndt like it if he did the same thing to you, and you werent doing anything.
2006-11-13 07:20:22 · answer #8 · answered by karen j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you hoping to find? Evidence of him cheating?
I was like you before...always looking for the smoking gun. I had to stop it because it was eating me up. How did I stop? I just decided that I can only control myself. I am responsible for my own actions. If he does something, it will eventually come out and I'll walk away clean.
Good luck.
2006-11-13 07:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont find anything why do you keep looking. Well Dora on one of your exploration you might find what your looking for. That will teach you a lesson. We all need our personal time and space. You shouldnt go looking for trouble what will you do if you find it?
2006-11-13 07:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋