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im am 41 years old .I have been married for 13 years.He has allways been a little kinky.And i,m allways up for new things,but is this to far?

2006-11-13 06:55:49 · 37 answers · asked by nicname 5 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

37 answers

In my opinion, it is the highest form of disrespect a man can show his wife! It also opens the door to him partaking in these kind of activities with other females. I don't see how any man can claim to love his spouse when he is willing to share her in bed with other men! Does that make any sense to you?! He sounds like an unprincipled man to me.

2006-11-13 07:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by liberalthinktank 3 · 2 1

It says your husband has some problems.

Don't do it.

There are several reasons why he would seriously ask this, and none of them are good for your marriage.

He could be planning to use it against you in the future, to claim you cheated on him. He may already have another woman in mind that he wants to be with and may think that if you do this, he will have permission to be with her.

It may not be you he wants to watch. Maybe, he's not so interested in seeing you with another man, as he is in watching the other man. Maybe his desires and attractions are leaning in a homoerotic direction.

Either way, I think it indicates that your husband's heart is restless and that he thinks he must be on a quest to find a new thrill all the time. A request like this indicates to me that he is a man who has a hard time finding fulfillment in the emotional intimacy that is the basis of marriage and that a couple's sex life is there to deepen and celebrate.

If he seriously wants you to do this, he is more than "a little kinky." He is emotionally impaired to the point where he can barely sustain relationships.

You have to stand up for yourself and for your marriage here. Tell him "no" firmly and finally.

One of the bases of marriage is sexual fidelity. He is encouraging you to violate that. In doing so, he is seeking not your welfare, but the diminishment of your humanity. If you allow him to do that by going along with this request, you can more or less kiss your marriage good-bye.

2006-11-13 07:42:33 · answer #2 · answered by Dean 2 · 0 1

A WANT is only a WANT, its not a NEED.

You don't have to full fill ALL his wants.

What does this say about his feelings toward you?

A. He wants to bring you more pleasure than he thinks he's capable of.
B. He really enjoying the way you look during sex and wants a different angle.
C. You are the Star of his sexual fantasies.
D. He's really kinky.
E. Doesn't value you and just wants his desires filled.
F. You are nothing, but a se toy
G. You know you husband better than us and you are far better to judge his desires better than us.

2006-11-13 07:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0 0

I dated a man that was married before. Him and his wife had an open relationship..and she approved of him seeing me as she was seeing other men. I was cool with it at first because I didn't want a real relationship at the time so a friend with benefits was good for me...LOL so I thought. ughhhhhhhhh lol it turns out he started having feelings for me and his home life kinda sucked. But he was married to her for 10 years and they had 3 children...and he left her because he thought he loved me...so not what I wanted and I felt responsible for it. I broke it off with him and never spoke to him or her again. trust me honey bringing someone else into ur marriage bed is not a good thing!

2006-11-13 07:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by ~Jennifer~ 1 · 0 0

Far by wich measure? What do you prefer to satisfy? Your beliefs based on stupid ancient conventions or your husband? Think on this: If he wants to do this with YOU is because he really and still loves you, otherwise it would be easier - by far - do it with a strange! If he exposed himself knowing you is because you arouses him very very much. This is a very common fantasy today. There are many couples that started a new phase in the relation experiencing new sexual things togheter. Enjoy it!

2006-11-13 07:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by Guru 3 · 0 0

This is really not an unusual thing for a man to ask. It's just a fantasy thing. If you don't feel like you're ready or interested in inviting someone else into your bedroom just tell him. Tell him that you're not saying that you will NEVER do it, you're just not ready right now. (that'll keep him from pressuring you about it and it gives you an infinite amount of time to think about it. - just make sure you never say never. You can be "thinking about it" forever.)

IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU.

Try to think about it this way: at least your relationship is strong enough that he could tell you about it instead of getting it somewhere else.

2006-11-13 07:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by Evoljz_Girl 2 · 2 0

It means in my opinion he is looking for a break in the normal sexual routine. and wants to live out a fantasy.
I stronly suggest you refrain from the fantasy as I speak from experience, it will not help your relationship and can only contribute to possible problems.

Maybe a way to satify this urge from his point unles this is really something you want to do is use sex toys in the manner he would have you have another man.

I 'm sure your husband loves you , he is just looking for new excitement, Start trying new other things

be careful

2006-11-13 07:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It is only to far if you are uncomfortable with the idea. I would sit down with your hubby and explain to him that it is not all the fantasy thinking and doing are 2 different things and he better be sure he can handle it. It takes a very strong relationship to do it and survive. With that said I personally know a couple that are in to that. They are very much in love and her hubby would do anything to make her happy. He gets turned on by seeing her with someone else and she has no issue with doing it. I n that case it is a win win. However you are the only person who knows what is right for you.

2006-11-13 07:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

I can see how u would feel! eeeeeeeeeek! Man Id b pissed but honestly I think my husband would go for it 3 some ect.They just dont say! Well it would hurt me that he wanted me to be with another man ,But I think he is really into the kinky and thats his drive on this! So I would just say no and of course then he would want u to say its ok for him with a chic! So just say no to it all! And might want to say also dont let the door hit u too hard on the way out!

2006-11-13 07:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by jessy 3 · 1 1

Their's nothing wrong with trying new things...but wanting to watch you in bed with another man is just too far. Why would a man want to see another man with his wife? Too me that's showing a lot of disrespect for you and your marriage. Maybe it goes a little deeper than just being kinky. Maybe he has cheated on you and now to make himself feel less guilty he wants you to sleep with another man. Of course he would want to watch just to make sure nothing out of the ordinary happened. So just be careful with that situation.

2006-11-13 07:01:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

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