I love this man to death, and Yes he is a gay man. We live together, and he is so good to me. I love him with everything I am. He is in a relationship with another man who stays at our house every now and then. (which I cant tolerate). Anyways, the other night, he and i almost had sex! I was scared so I stopped it but I really want him! I tells me he loves me, we kiss all the time, hold hands in public, people ask us how long we been together, and he tells them the length we lived together. Im confused. He says that he gay and I believe him. I really want him to let me love him! Why is it so hard? I need advice! Can a woman turn a gay man straight? or Is he just covering up the fact that hes gay, by using me?
2006-11-13 06:53:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No you can't turn a gay man straight. It seems to be that the two of you are best friends. So this makes it easy for him to use your relationship as a cover up. He may not want the whole world to know he's gay. If your going to keep letting it go on than your hurting yourself. He probably sees it as a great set up he's got going. He can be with you and look normal, and he can have his playmate when ever he wants.
2006-11-13 08:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, it is a little hard to tell the players, but if I read the story right, you are a woman. And you love this guy.
Even if he were straight, he could be using you. Women in love are always women being used to some degree. The thing is that they (and men in love too) want to be used. So, go for it if he is game.
As for the "turning the gay man straight", don't bother--which is not to say it can't happen--if he appreciates the feeling for you and you also have such strong feeling for him, that is what the target is. Make your relationship with him grow. Forget the rest. In this case, while you may be more concerned that if he has an affair at some future time you would first look to the men, not women, in his life, at least you won't be blind-sided as some women I know whose husbands left them after years and years of marriage, but left for a man instead of another woman. If he strays, you already have an idea of which way he turns. But if you are right and he's in love with you, be in love. Enjoy what is, and leave future choices to the future. If it is a marriage of convenience, be convenient.
2006-11-13 07:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like he is BI..And NO you can not make a gay man straight.. Perhaps he finds you attractive because of WHO you are and not WHAT you are..If you can live with him being bi..I really don't know why the two of you could not have a wonderful life together..You will just have to keep in mind you may not have the right equipment for ALL of his desires..lol.. and you may have to be willing to share a bit..You are the only cone who can decide if that is a life you can live with and be happy or not..
2006-11-13 06:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This is deep. All i can say is R-U-N. He is obviously very confused and extremely selfish. Anyone who would lead you on & have u believing one thing when it's obviously not true isnt even worth having feelings for. Think about it. He tells you he's gay. He has a man coming over frequently whom he claims to be sleeping with. What MAN would admit to it if its not true? I think he may like the attention you give him, but he probably has absolutely NO intentions of letting go of his boyfriend. You need to move on (maybe even move out???) and find someone more stable and worth your time. Let him sort out his own sexual identity crisis. And no, a woman can not turn a gay man straight. He has to make all decisions on his own based on what makes him happy.
2006-11-13 07:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by Raynebow_Diva 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is either Bi or just likes to be aroused by people... if he's been with his boyfreind for a while you have to wonder if he'll be doing the same thing to you if you two get togther...
If he's bi and he's been with his man for years he probably just misses being with a girl and you live with him so you're right there. I'm not saying that there are no feelings involved here but he still is SUPPOSE to be in a relationship with another person.
If you want my honest opinion on your friend I think he's just trying to have his cake and eat it too because if he wanted to leave his boyfriend he would have already... and I doubt you want to be the other woman...
2006-11-13 07:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by IceyFlame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, women cannot turn gay men straight. I was also in love with a gay man at one time. He was wonderful but he was attracted to men.
Scientists have pretty much decided that being gay is genetic. You cannot change the guy's DNA and you can be his friend but long term romance is not going to happen.
2006-11-13 06:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
whats so hard about finding a straight man who you KNOW is into women and who isn't involved in a relationship. maybe, a big part of it is the chase, is the fantasy that you could perhaps TURN him. Not gonna happpen cuz he would've left his boytoy already.
anyway, why would you want to be with him knowing that he isn't even faithful to the guy he is already with? sounds like a confused dramatic dude to me.
2006-11-13 07:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by Krystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me he sounds like he isnt sure within himself whether he is gay or at least bisexual. If you are able to rationlize him being with another man and you can still have feelings for him then I would say he is giving off wrong signals and really needs to soul search and understand his own feelings.
2006-11-13 06:59:40 · answer #8 · answered by rhino6977_us 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow don't get involved I had an identical issue about 5 years ago. He just wants to experiment dont it will just confuse him more oh and also he will probably stop in the middle anyways
2006-11-13 08:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he wants a romantic relationship with you..Maybe he is bi-sexual..Then ask yourself if you can share him with a man.
2006-11-13 06:57:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋