with out hurting his feelings, im not ready doesn't work
2006-11-13 06:44:22 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Say NO lol
2006-11-13 06:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it is only a piece of paper, and the cost of a wedding will bankrupt both your parents, mentally as well as physically. Instead you should both try and save up for a home by getting separate savings accounts, and have a little contest. the first one to a certain sum,
you can say that you will use the money to buy a house if your still together (say with a smile) and then you have a breather to work out if your ready for this commitment. in the mean time you will both be building up a bit of cash.
you can also add the line that once you are married, your both might become more complaicant about each other.
2006-11-13 06:50:30 · answer #2 · answered by DAVID C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This is a serious question not to be taken lightly. If you are not in a place to get married right now, I'm surprised your partner doesn't already know that.
Don't accept just because you don't want to hurt his feelings, you're talking about a major, hopefully life long committment. You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with him and let him know, not only aren't you ready but give him reasons why. Make sure he knows you aren't rejecting him but the idea of marriage right now. Talk about where things have been, where they are and where you see them going.....and give a timeframe. That doesn't mean you have to make a decision at that point, but at least set a timeframe to have another discussion.
If you can't be honest with him now, marriage is CERTAINLY not the answer.
2006-11-13 06:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by C J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the tried and true, "It's not you, It's me".
Hehe OK I know that's uber cheezy.
Look, it's your life so be true to yourself. You do exactly what you want to do. Sometimes the truth hurts even when you say it with lots of sugar, but it is still the truth and should be respected as such.
Marriage is the most important business decision you will ever make in your life. So if you are not ready, avoid it like the plague.
2006-11-13 06:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by murkglider 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight. You'll hurt him more in the long run if you try to make it sound like a "nice let down" (if there is such a thing). Tell him you aren't ready for that yet. If you love him, spare his feelings by telling the truth. If you don't even love him why are you with him? Hope it all goes well for you, and he doesn't take it too badly
2006-11-13 07:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by guylian_chocolate_seashell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call him your partner, indicating a longer-term relationship is already in place, so........ why does he want to change things now........ If you just don't believe in the institution of marriage, explain that to him. If you have doubts about continuing life in his company, then you need to make a clean break.
There is no way to avoid hurt feelings, but it's better to make a clean break now, than it would be to go through with marriage that you don't want, and have the mess of separation and divorce later on.
Good luck in whatever choice you make.
2006-11-13 06:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by bc_is_the_place_to_be 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do if you dont want to hurt their feelings is to say the truth. NO. If you say I'm not ready or I dont want to right now then that gives them hope for the future. If the answer is no then say no.
2006-11-13 06:48:17 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His feeling are going to be hurt no matter what you may tell him. Time, effort and thought went into a proposal and he imagined you would say yes, and it takes a guy lots of nerve to propose, so his feeling are definitely going to be hurt, and you may lose
him.
2006-11-13 06:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"As this is the most important decision that I will probably have to make in my life, for the benefit of us both, I want to make sure that this is what we both want long term. Lets just enjoy what we have for the time being, and when we both feel the time is right, then we'll take the next step". Something along those lines.
2006-11-13 08:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by ribena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty with tact. You obviously do not want to get married, so just say that you do not feel you are ready to get married right yet.
This is better than a no, if you are not sure, as it keeps your options open.
2006-11-13 06:48:05 · answer #10 · answered by Buck Turgidson 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply sit him down and explain your feelings, if he truly loves you then he will understand. But if it's something more than just not ready, then maybe you shouldn't be in the relationship...is it possibility the fear of commitment?
2006-11-13 06:48:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋