I am having problems with my mother-in-law and I don't know what to do about it....?

Question

Sometimes I think my mother-in-law is nuts.......she acts nice one moment and then she is making odd comments....a couple of months ago we were sitting at the dinning room table and then out of no where she says "Don't have any more kids"......What? That made me mad cause who does she think she is to tell us what to do,,,,,,,,,she did it again, and then she did it again yesterday. We went to my brother-in-laws house cause it was his birthday and my husband told my son........tell grandma what a pirate says (he's 2) and then all of a sudden she says "as long as you don't say you want a brother" What? Where did that come from? She is making me soooooooooo mad, and I had told her last week when i went to her house on my time so that she can see her grandkids that me and my husband wanted to have one more.....and the reason i said it was so she could stop making those rude comments and she did it again anyway........and it just makes me mad cause my husband and i have said we wanted...

another one, so does she think that making these comments he's gonna come home and say, you know what, i changed my mind........i don't understand what is her point in making these comments.......and then she acts weird when it is just us she is normal around my kids but when other people are around she acts all wild and weird, yesterday she was actually running around and chasing my son on the floor and acting like she was 5 when she normally doesn't act like that........I am starting to think she is bi-poloar or something........i just don't know what to think about it.........i really don't, but i am getting sick of it really fast,

well my husband is the oldest and a tad bit of a mommas boy, but he told me he is going to supposedly say something to her.....I hope he does but i won't hold my breath......i'm just so tired of it i'm afraid if i confront her about it i may say something that i don't want to and since it is his mom, i feel he should be the one to set her straight....not me.

well i know she doesn't like me, but we have been together for 8yrs and married for 6, we have a 2yr old son and a 4mo old daughter.......and its not like we are having a 3rd tomorrow......the plan is for maybe in 2-3 years.......but i can't stand fake people.....she acts nice one minute and then she is acting nuts and she is only 49......she was young when she got married and got pregnant right away and she has 3 kids........so why can't i have 3 kids if that is what we want.......my first 2 were planned down to the month they were born..........so i don't see what her problem is........

Lord knows I want to confront her and I know that when i am really pissed that i can be an evil ***** and i am trying to bite my tounge and not go there cause I have to live with my husband lol and because i have 2 kids that need their grandparents......i don't want to have to say...kids we don't go see your grandma cause she is a crazy ol' bat but they shouldn't have to see the way that family treats me either.......my kids will just hate them and that is what i don't want to happen but i can't take it anymore........i'm about ti explode!

Answer 1

Mother-in-laws generally are pretty good with weird behavior. The fact is her son is too good for any one on this earth. Don't let her actions effect your marriage!!!Just what she says alone could really interfere with a stable one. Try spending less time around her and create your own life with your family (husband and child).Keep your focus on what you and your husband want and need and stay happy 'cause an unhappy marriage = divorce.

Answer 2

Hmmm, she sounds sort of strange. Maybe she thinks she's being funny- like have you ever had a relative who teased you about something totally inappropriate just because they're old and they think they're being witty? That could be it. I'd hate to say it, but it sounds like maybe the onset of dementia. Is she pretty old already? Because older people who start to get demented start saying some really inappropriate things that don't even make sense, and they also act a little inappropriate at times too, like you said she was being. Or, here's a thought- does she herself have a lot of kids? Maybe she regrets having so many kids when she was young and she's just trying to warn you not to get yourself in the same situation. It's still none of her business, of course, but maybe she just wants a better situation for you and your husband. I think you need to confront her directly and let her know that her comments make you feel uncomfortable. If you think you can't do that without starting World War 3, maybe you can ask your husband to talk with her about it. She may take it better coming from her own son. But seriously, it may be her mental health failing her, and there is unfortunately not much you can do for dementia, senility, Alzheimer's, or any other mental disorder elderly people get. You may just have to put up with her crazy talk and ignore her.

Answer 3

Praise the lord!!! I thought I was alone in the crazy mother-in-law department!!!! I think we should start a support group!!! I REALLY feel for ya' sister. We have kind of drawn away from my m-i-l which is sad because I am truely a family person. She is just over the top sometimes and I can't stand it--she will give us something (just lately it was a couch) and then change her mind because if we break up, she's afraid that her son won't get it. We've been together for 5 years and are planning to get married in October! She is just too much. I know where you are comming from and you have my total support and sympathy!!! GOOD LUCK AND HANG IN THERE!!!

Answer 4

I swear in - laws have a certian thing that kicks in wen they get daughters or son in-laws. All i can say is she is not the boss of u and she has no right to tell u not to have more kids as long as u have the finances to do so. Some times these in-laws are so evil,jealous and bitter that they will do anything to ruin your life. Dont worry about her snotty comments just do wats best for u and your family.

Answer 5

Please ignore her. I know it is difficult to do, but please don't react to her comments out of anger. Just let her know that you've noticed her comments about you guys having more kids, and tell her again that you've decided to have another. Make sure your statement is in response to her comments. She'll probably say she disagrees or she was just joking. Either way, let her know that you guys seriously plan to. Don't tell her to back off or anything mean. If she is as tactless as you've described, this isn't going to stop her from continuing to say it. That is where the ignoring her comes in. You have to pick your battles, and this isn't one worth having. You and your husband are adults and can have more kids whether she wants to or not. Just let her words go through one ear and out the other, or ask your husband to handle it. That last statement was a joke, because husbands never handle stuff like this.

Answer 6

My MIL is 2 faced like that too, I know what you mean. In front of people she acts like she is the best mother in the world and tells everyone all her problems with us, (all 3 of her kids and their wives) and in front of us its all nicey nice. You tell her anything and when you are gone she is on the phone telling the whole family why you are so bad and how we all hurt her blah blah blah. I would just come right out and say something the next time she says it. Like when she says it say, "why do you keep saying that?" Confront her and make her squirm to come up with an answer right in front of everyone and make her look stupid. Then maybe she will get the point to keep her big mouth shut and keep her opinions to herself!

Answer 7

Why are you letting this bother you. Your mother n law sounds like she is ligit. Ignore her and have a kid if you want to. She will problbly give that kid so much attention until you and spouse will get jealous. Perhaps she is working on that you do not need anymore kids so when you do have this one --she thinks perhaps you will give it to her. Some mothers do think this way.I say enjoy your mother n law cause out of everthing bad comes something good.

Answer 8

Stop beating around the bush and come right out and say what you mean. She has no right to comment on how many children you are going to have. Tell her the decision is yours and your husbands to make and you would appreciate if she kept her comments to herself. Tell her that she won't be welcome in your home until she can respect you and your choices. Tell her that you won't be stopping by her house because you don't want to hear the nasty remarks. If she wants to see your children then her son can take them to visit. I doubt her remarks bother him like they bother you. He probably lets them go in one ear and out of the other but I know how you feel. My family bullied me to get my tubes tied. I did, but I waited until I knew it was the decision for me. My husband tried to talk me out of it but I already have 4. I don't spend too much time with my family because they make me feel like I am an inch tall when it comes to my own life. Tell your husband to put his foot down with her. My family finally learned to shut up when they realized I did not need them as much. I have a husband who loves me so when they started up I stopped talking to them. My father is actually afraid to say the wrong thing anymore in fear that I will stop talking to him and he won't get to see the kids. Sometimes we have to take drastic measures to get the respect we deserve. Take care.

Answer 9

oh lord. she's TELLING you not to have more kids??? meddling "b***H. well, this has to be a discussion between you and your husband. do the two of you want more kids? fact is, he can't control his mother. she wants to be rude. and there is nothing anyone can do about it. not even your husband. however, if the two of you are united about the topic, don't worry about it.

one other view, discuss with your husband about what he actually wants. just in case he has told her something he hasn't had the guts to tell you.

Answer 10

Try to shrug it off. She has no business in your business and hubby needs to tell her that. Good luck, honey.