Our female teenage neighbor has a crush on my husband. In my opinion its very innocent,but its starting to get on my nerves. I do like this girl, she is very sweet. My husband has become flattered that she comes to visit him.......even when Im not home. I dont suspect any thing sexual is going on. She likes to come over and eat and watch our t.v and get on the computer and talk to my husband about her BF problems. At first I was included in the conversations but I slowly weeded my way out because I had household chores to attend to. She now refers to him as BP "best pal" . This pet name is what I call my 3 year old son.
The flirting has become out of hand and I plan to tell them both that I am not comfortable with their relationship anymore. I dont want to hurt the girls feelings because, like I said, I do like her and I know she does not know how I have recently begun to feel.
So............any suggestions?????
2006-11-13 06:21:31 · 10 answers · asked by Sqrlll 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes you need to talk to them both and at the same time and it will hurt this girl, but it will hurt you more if she keeps going, and your marriage ends up on the rocks
2006-11-13 06:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could ask your husband not to allow the girl to visit unless you are home and also only at certain hours of the day. Like when you both can sit and talk to her. If this does not work, then you will have to explain to the girls parents that the girl is becoming a nuisance and must always call first before coming over and to have her parents permission. There are a dozen ways to handle this. but being up front and honest with the girl and the husband is the only true way to settle the problem.
2006-11-13 06:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by TillieDillie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd get her parent's involved. Even if your husband is an honorable man and wouldn't take advantage of her- in the future some other guy may not be so kind. Maybe you could just make it an issue of lack of time- "Mr and Mrs Jones, I really love Alicia, she's a sweet girl, but I'm super busy with family stuff, and just don't have time to cope with everything, with her spending so much time hanging out here". Hopefully they will get the hint, and discourage her. Or just be honest with you hubby, say all the teenage angst is getting on your nerves, and ask him to discourage her.
2006-11-13 06:35:38 · answer #3 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to confront your husband. Make it known to him that you are uncomfortable with the situation and he needs to do something about him. Just explain how you feel, and he should be on your side. I would have your husband explain to the girl, that even though she's a nice girl and he likes her, he has a wife and a family to take care of, and he can't spend all his time with her. If she really wants to be a part of your family, invite her to spend time when all of you are around, like a games night or something. That way, she can spend time with your husband (and you) without you feeling awkward and a bit left out. It sounds like the girl is lacking attention at her own house, and another suggestion of mine would be to approach her mother/father and explain the situation. Maybe both the families could spend time together, have a BBQ or dinner party together. Also, suggest some day camps or programs (local recreation/youth centers and churches will have some) that the girl can go in to meet and spend time with kids her own age. You (Or probably your husband) can explain to her, that, even though you enjoy her company, it's healthier for the both of you if she starts hanging out with girls her own age. Good luck!
2006-11-13 06:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband's tacit nurturing is what YOU have a responsibility to, not the girl; he is feeding the girl's crush for either affirmation of himself or his manhood, or worse, he harbors a secret wish that she will act on it when she turns 18 (or worse, before...)
You need to tell your husband that he is crossing a moral line, if not with you, with society at large; depending on what kind of job he has or the friends he keeps, he may face being ostracized by your community, friends, or, God forbid, face charges of pedophilia or statutory rape if he is percieved to have done anything with this girl (or worse, actually be caught doing so).
What you need to tell your husband is, while he may be totally innocent at this time, he is treading in a dangerously grey area and that you are worried about what appearances he will give to others.
If he resists or gets defensive about your concern, offer to take the matter up with the girl's parents (they do know about this, right..?).
If he gets even more defensive, then his own motives are in question and you have a long night of talking ahead...
I'm like most red-blooded males, but even I know where the line is... your husband is flirting with a lot more than just a girl.
2006-11-13 06:30:35 · answer #5 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
properly, right this is the issue. I consider you completely, i could be INFURIATED if my husband have been doing what your husband is doing. Married people should not be arising friendships with people of the different intercourse, this is incorrect. All it does is bring about temptation, and it is likewise disrespectful to the marriage. Why does your husband would desire to be texting back and forth with this woman? They shouldn't even have one yet another's telephone numbers! that's in contrast to they artwork heavily mutually in an place of work and desire one yet another's numbers for emergencies. They had to interchange numbers so they might shop up a correspondence in a delightful way out of the place of work! i think of their relationship is crossing a substantial line and this is not ok. in my opinion i think of married people should not be on my own with people of the different intercourse. She does not comprehend the thank you to do a lesson plan? Too undesirable! She graduated college for sure, i'm particular she would be able to parent it out on her own. If she would be able to't, wager she loses her job then! this is not your husband's job to coach her the thank you to do HER job! the two certainly one of them should not be around one yet another socially except you're there too for my area. He should not be going to her apartment, era, and he or she should not be going everywhere with him with out you there. talk on your husband concerning the way you experience and that i'm particular he will do what's suitable to your marriage. Your companion must be the main needed guy or woman in the international to you, and he needs to act for this reason. something that makes you uncomfortable he ought to provide up doing. He needs to provide up responding to her text cloth messages and alter the form of relationship he has with this woman. solid success.
2016-10-22 00:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by turrill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blame it on your kid. You can tell her that your son is referring to her as "daddy's girlfriend", and although You know she would never ever have a fling with a married man it would be best if she didn't come around more than once a week, especially if you are not home. You don't want your son to get confused and you don't want the neighbors to start spreading rumors. Make sure you are in the company of your husband and the girl. Be firm when you tell her. That should do the trick.
2006-11-13 06:31:45 · answer #7 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Tell your husband that you find the relationship inappropriate. He can then tell the girl that she has to respect your privacy as a couple
2006-11-13 06:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
just be straight forward and honest. if someone gets mad or gets their feelings hurt, then theres probably more to it then you know.
2006-11-13 06:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by uncle odis 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
BE STRAIGHT UP!
LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU THINK BOUNDRIES ARE BEING CROSSED AND YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT, AND IT NEEDS TO STOP.
2006-11-13 06:44:26 · answer #10 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋