Do you believe marriage consuling works?

Question

I am considering it, but i just don't know if it will work, I know you have to want it to work for it to work, but what will they do or say that my husband and I have not already tried or done?

Answer 1

I dont believe in marriage councelling. Sometimes you have to step back from the problems and create love in your marriage before you can deal with the problems. You see if both parties are not willing to solve councelling is just going to annoy the other party and alienate them more and more and things in most cases get worse. Take a step back from your problems, give it a rest and try to create little things in your marriage to build the love again - when that is done both will be willing and will want to be with each other so solving the problems becomes easier. There is a man called Mort Fertel that really makes sense. Go to his website - www.mortfertel.com. He is not a marriage councellor but he helps you understand things about yourself. U can do this alone and it will help you a great deal.. Hope it helps you - wanting your marriage is the key to making it work - you just need to know how - good luck and god bless you both

Answer 2

Any type of counseling will work if you are open-minded and is willing to look at the problems from different point of view. But with marriage counseling both sides must want it to work. I tried both couples and individual counseling and nothing was working because my ex wanted to use it as control and I wanted to end a painful relationship. What really helped me during that time was a homework assignment of making a time-line of the relationship which showed me what the relationship was and how it failed. Sometimes you have to cut your loses because you can't fixed another person only yourself. You have to be honest with yourself and your spouse has to be too. Don't waste your money if you can't agree on this issue

Answer 3

It works if you let it. It is just a tool for the couple to step back from the conflicts and problems and get a new perspective on things. Keep an open mind. It's not just about keeping you together. Sometimes the marriage cannot be saved. Good luck.

Answer 4

As a licensed marriage counselor, yup it works. But only if both parties are fully engaged in trying to make it work. If one or both don't buy into it, or are just done trying to make the marriage work, then no amount of counselling will work. But there may be some pointers to take from the counselor to use in your next relationship....

Answer 5

I think marriage counseling is garbage. My wife and I tried it and she always presented herself as prefect and would get so upset when I pointed out her behavior to contrary. It easy to lie to a third party because they don't know you. I believe a straight line of communication works the best.
If she says "I need A".
I reply with "I think you want A, you don't need A."
OR
If she says "I feel that ....etc"
I reply with "I feel that you are wrong, but since its only a feeling I could be misguided. Feelings don't tell you the truth, they only tell you what you are feeling."

Its amazing how once we removed "feelings" and "needs" in place of "wants". We disagree sooo much less.

Clear communication only works if both parties cleanly understands what they are say in the first place.

Answer 6

We are in individual counseling now, but when he gets back from Iraq we are going into marriage counseling. Even though things are well, they could always be better. I also suggest this book called 7 Principles for making Marriage Work. It saved us from divorce.

Answer 7

If you both come with an open mind and a real desire to save your marriage it will work. Find the right counselor though, remember, they are trained but they are also people with differing opinions. Use common sense.

Answer 8

As long as you both go and acknowledge what is wrong in your relationship and both try to work on it better, it will work. Be open to the suggestions that are made.

Answer 9

An outsiders opinion can make a world of difference. They may say something that neither of you have thought of or something that makes it all come to light. Its definitely worth the try, isnt it?

Answer 10

I once had a marriage counselor who said that we earned too much money to need a counselor. I am now happily divorced.