How should I bring up relocation discussion?

Question

My husband "John", my brother in law, "Tim" I work within his parents business. We have some very serious issues with it however. "John" and "Tim" are on salary pay. "Tim" always shows up late by at least an hour and leaves whenever he feels like it while at the same time "John" is always at least an hour early to get things prepared for the day. They make the same pay while "Tim" is always goofing off. I think this is very unfair and have brought it up many times with his parents. Nothing ever happens or is said about it. As soon as "John" makes a mistake he's corrected within seconds. "John" knows all of the aspects of his job, while "Tim" barely knows his job. After many stressful days, I've found that my husband "John" and I are fighting on a regular basis, and he has started drinking more. Today is one of those days because my mother-in-law "Helga" has messed up my pay once again. I have talked with her already and she refuses to pay me for all of the hours I worked.

I will have the rest of the question in a minute....

After much consideration I have been thinking of asking "John" to start his own business about an hour away where I have family. I know if he started his own small business he would do well because there are none like it in that area. (He works on water wells) How should I bring up the discussion of relocation?

Answer 1

You are in a family business and you're not family, at least not blood. Sounds like Tim is the youngest, and as such has been given wide latitiude, while your husband John is the oldest, and has has a stricter upbringing, with emphasis on responsibility.

At this time your husband is under considerable stress, he knows that Tim is not pulling his weight, he knows that problems at work, with the job/ customer/ vendors, with his brother, with the family, are causing problems at home. He is seeking solice from the bottle, when he should be getting support, comfort and empathy from you.

I would recommend that you stop bringing up "things with his parents", because while you don't think anything is going on, John is the one who is bearing the brunt of their response, and is forced to defend you against his parents. That's tearing him apart, and could be the underlying cause of the domestic strife.

As far as the pay issue, I think that you are being taken advantage of. If you are not "family" then you are an employee who has rights under The Fair Labor Standards Act. Among those rights are to be paid accurately for the time worked, and if non-exempt, to be paid time and one-half for all hours worked over 40. Discuss the problem with you husband, not "Helga" and let him take care of it.

Answer 2

I think if you gave him all the details that you just gave us that should be an eyeopener. Neither of you will gain ground by remaining in the present situation. If he has the skills to oversee his own businss, by all means, you need to start right away.