How do you feel about the terms "home maker" and "house wife". o you have any gripes about these different labels? Is their one you insist upon? Like "stay at home mom", Family manager" or "domestic engineer"? Moms who choose to stay home to raise their kids instead of working outside the home and dumping their kids in day care from 6-6 just dont get enough credit.
2006-11-13 04:56:49 · 23 answers · asked by TrofyWife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a housewife or whatever you want to call it. I don't really like the term 'stay at home mom' b/c I am a wife, too. I really like that I am a mom don't get me wrong, but I really feel like that term takes away from my identity- I am still a 20's something female who really wants to do things as one, too- not just a mom. I mean I LOVE my daughter (who is 7 and a 1/2) and I raise my 5 year old step son and I have since right when he turned 2, but he wasn't even bottle broke and only said dada and ba ba. His dad was raising him alone and totally babied (is that a word?) him. He still does, but when his dad isn't home, I have taken him light years... I also have a 13 yr old step daughter who comes over every tues. and Every weekend.
I agree that we don't get enough credit and when I have to say that to ppl I stay at home, I always feel like I should explain myself even though I don't really feel that way. My husband really figures that since I am home then the house should stay spotless, and always look clean, even though no one in the house closes the shower curtain when they are finished- if they use any products (which they do, all day and night) they stay right on the counter. My husband starts a pile of trash on the kitchen counter instead of putting it in the can --even if it isn't full- then he wonders why the house looks the way it does by the end of his day off and never remembers that when he came in the night before he said 'Wow, the house looks great honey'. The clothes just get thrown on the floor wherever and hangers get thrown on the bed... so no matter how hard I try, the house always looks cluttered, you know , like I never bothered, when it what I do everyday and then also at LEAST one night a week, when noone is home (wed. or every other FRI & SAT) I deep clean for hours with my ipod, and you really can't tell so much of the time. If the dishwasher is empty, ppl will still not put there dishes in it, and I didn't even mention the actual doing of the laundry or that my husband changes 10 times both of his days off AND where a 2x in everything, and always wears an undershirt. We have Big towels and then somehow we accumulated quite a feww smaller towels too, well, my husband will give his son a bath and use a beach towel for the floor instead of one of the small towels, which isn't a great big deal until you multiply 4 x 7 to make at least 28 big towels a week already, so washing more big towels instead of little towels makes no sense. They take up at least 3 times more room each.
My step son is enrolled in daycare (he goes from 9- 4:30 and pre school is from 1-4 on wen. and fri.) a cpl days a week and that and that started back in Feb. b/c I was at a breaking point, b/c I was raising him myself, while his mom did nothing for him, never came and got him and I was being fought against in trying to help 2 other ppls' son grow and do things that were appropiate for his age. I love him like he is my own, and have taught him everything, yet he the fact that he wasn't mine was being thrown in my face when I would try and do anything towards helping him become more independent. I left for a couple days and when I came back home, I let my husband keep him there 2 days a week so I could get some piece mind and that way his mom had to pick him up 2 times a week and keep him for a cpl hours til his dad got off work, and I was hoping that the school would tell my husband what was appropriate for his age instead of me. If those things weren't going on he would be home all the time.
Sorry, this is soo long, but that was a great Q! b/c I thought I was going crazy!!!!
2006-11-13 06:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by evolvinghouse 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have referred to myself as a "work" at home mom. NEVER ever just a stay at home mom. We, as a whole, never have the time to just "stay" anywhere! Work--definately fits the description more accurately! I have put on applications for credit in the past: "Domestic Engineer", and for the position: "Major Multitasker". I have a 6yr old that I was home with until she went into kindergarten. My son just turned 3, so I have about 2-3 years left of being home with him. I thank my husband everyday for making enough money so that I can be able to do this. I sell on eBay to make extra money--its ALL good! :) I do feel for the mom who wants to stay home with their child and cannot afford to. I do not think that they are "dumping" their child off by any stretch of the imagination! Im sure that that is very tough!! NO! 50% of Moms who work outside of the house DO NOT get enough credit for helping make ends meet! I don't know how you do it..I am working from home, and still need another 10 hours added onto the 24! Now for the other 50%, you should have picked from the beginning...Career or Family?? I know some who should have thought more about it before just jumping in the family while not wanting to leave their career...the children suffer! This is all just my opinion! :)
2006-11-13 05:21:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I was a 'stay-at-home-mom' for a while and I agree that most women who are lead this lifestyle do not get enough credit for what they do. However, I do not like nor appreciate your comment on women who do work and their "dumping" their kids in daycare from 6 to 6. I don't think your giving these women enough credit either. I work full-time, go to school part-time, and raise my daughter. Just because I am not fortunate enough to have the opportunity to stay at home with my daughter full-time does not mean that I am any less of a mother compared to those who are able to do so. I think that daycare is a good experience for my daughter because she gets to do a lot of fun activities and interact socially with other children her age and have more fun then if she was home with me 24/7 while I took care of chores and errands. I think that if I was ever to be a 'stay-at-home-mom' again, I would still want to keep her in daycare for some of the week bc of the valuable experiences that she gets that just being home with me might not be able to facillitate. I think that all mothers who love their children and do their best deserve great amounts of credit whether they are home with them or not. Each role here is pretty much dedicated at doing the best and giving the best to and for their children. I work and go to school so I can provide my daughter with good things and instill in her that she does not need to rely on a man and that education is very valuable especially if one wants to have more opportunities in life. I think that those who stay at home are really admirable too because they are able to do the same but in a different context. I dont think that a title really gives anymore credit to these women/men either because no matter what people still undermine how much a stay-at-home-parent really does and being a parent and making sure everything in the family network is running well is a very demanding and very respectable job.
2006-11-13 05:19:00 · answer #3 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There isn't any point in insisting on a fancy title for at home mom or housewife. It sort of like garbage men being called sanitation workers. There are many that often resent an at home mom for whatever reasons. Guilt for not doing it themselves sometimes. Being at home is a sacrifice for any woman who chooses to do it. It is a job that takes place 24/7 with ZERO time off or sick leave. It is the equivilent of doing 2 full time jobs without the luxury of a salary. The stigma that an at home mom is somehow lazy and or stupid or uneducated is often annoying. Just take pride in what you do and don't try to justify it to anyone. The rewards far out weigh the sacrifice. I made the decision to give up a career at be at home full-time when my eldest child was 2 years old. This year he will be graduating from high school and then be off to college. The years have flown by and I wouldn't do anything differently. I am so happy to have been home and watched him grow through all of his little scrapes and heartbreaks and successes. That's been a perk that no job could ever give me and more than any salary would have paid. Take Pride in taking care of your own child; it is becoming a lost art.
2006-11-13 05:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by AVA 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really matter to me either, though I think I would laugh if someone called me a family manager or domestic engineer. I guess I don't like house wife, stay at home mom is good. And no I think it's equally as hard to be a working mom and a stay at home mom, just different problems you have to work through. I've done both.
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2006-11-13 05:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not all that concerned with the names people make up to describe raising kids. I will even answer the question "Do you work?" with a "no", because I know that they are asking whether I have a job outside the home. I don't get indignant and say "Of course, I have the hardest job in the world - raising my children". Let's face it, it's not the hardest job in the world. Sure, sometimes it's hard, but what other job lets you head to the beach on a summer afternoon, or make cookies and hot chocolate after building snow-men all morning? I stay home, because it's the best thing for my family - not for the credit I might get from other people.
2006-11-13 05:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by Tiss 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I stay at home with my children, son 2yrs old and daughter 4mo old. Its not as hard but it does get frustrating doing the same stuff everyday and being with the kids 24/7..........but I would rather be with them than working a job that doesn't even cover day care costs and worry about someone abusing or molesting my kids....and I had them because I wanted to raise them......not have some teenager in a daycare teaching my baby songs and games, or see her first attempt to walk or hear her first word.....that i would regret for the rest of my life, but I don't get enough credit for it. My husband thinks that I am just sitting and playing all day and the house cleans itself and the food cooks itself........thats what makes me mad!
2006-11-13 05:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's all a "personal choice", you sound like you're way too "concerned" about "labels" and what other people think about your choice. You are also very "judgemental" about other people's decisions. There are a lot more "important" issues out there to be worried about.
If you are "satisfied" and "content" to be a "home maker", why are you so worried about getting "credit" for it? Hopefully your children will benefit from your being "home" with them and that should be all the "reward" you need.
As for the women who make the decision to work "outside" the home, they don't "dump their kids" in daycare as if they have little or no regard for them! They don't deserve to be "judged" by you anymore than you want to be "judged" by them for being a "stay at home" mom.
The only thing that matters is the welfare of our children. I think it's perfectly acceptable to "work outside" the home or to "stay at home". Everyone's circumstances are different and financially, we don't all have the option of "staying at home".
My mother never worked outside our home, my father was an airline pilot and finances were not an issue. As for myself, I would have "preferred" to be at home with my children but an unexpected "divorce" changed my life. I had no choice but to work "outside" the home.
My children were never "dumped" anywhere and I resent your implication that women who work have less regard for their children than you do.
I don't judge you or anyone else who decides to stay at home with their children, so I would appreciate it if you didn't judge those of us who weren't able to stay at home or made the decision to work.
I remarried, my husband and I have been married for 35 years, our children are all grown with families of their own. They are all successful, well-adjusted people who have no problem with the way they were raised. I'd say that "says it all".
People may call you a lot of things after reading your question and I don't think "homemaker, housewife or stay at home mom" will be their first choice.
Good luck to you and your "labels".
2006-11-13 05:30:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think what you call yourself is just relative. Where the credit comes is from having happy, healthy, well adjusted kids who have been brought up in a home where mom (or dad) is always there for them. Labels are not important - the results are.
2006-11-13 05:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by susie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I do work. But I think if the family can afford it, go for it. I think you need something better to do with your time than complain about what stupid people say about you or what you do. Believe me, even if we could afford it, I think I would get bored, but then again, some people are like that. But I think women that stay home with the kids are pretty great.
2006-11-13 05:10:50 · answer #10 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋