I am 17 what do you think of this poem i just wrote...don't read it if you are pro-abortion........?

Question

tell me what you think! and if it needs more situations, or if it's fine the way it is....

You sat on the toilet, test in hand.
You thought about adoption,
But your friends wouldn’t understand.

Today my mommy was ashamed of me.

The doctors said that I would never see,
That I’d have some problems
And be retarded, basically.

Today my mommy gave up on me.

You told your boyfriend
That you were pregnant with me
I heard him say “get rid of it--before anyone can see”

Today my mommy chose him over me.

I was a baby,
Now I’ll never be.

Because today my mommy aborted me.

Now we’re all in heaven,
And we’re smiling, you see
Because god took our hands and said

Today your mommy gave you to me.....

Answer 1

there is no pattern besides the fact that there is three lines then one, and you have a random two liner in there. and having the majority of lines all end in the same ryhme: me, see, me, me, see, me, be, me, see, me... is just annoying.

good thoughts, and a good subject and perspective, but a ten year old could have wrote that in five minutes

Answer 2

Nice job.

Powerful, emotional, sad and uplifting.

I give it a 7 out of 10.

Answer 3

I've had an abortion, and that poem made me cry I'm going to print that out, i think it's perfect the way it is.

Answer 4

I don't get it, sounds like everything turned out great for everyone. Baby went to heaven, mamma and daddy went on with their lives. Yay!

Answer 5

very interesting poem.

Answer 6

no don't change it, its a real great poem

Answer 7

good. im very anti-abortion, and this is the way i see it, too. thanks for taking the time!