I've been married for 5 years to a wonderful man, but I have only been faithful for 4 years. And now I'm in love with another man! I haven't slept with him, but the time we spend together is amazing! My heart just feels so confused. How do I know which one to chose? One can give me a better life than the other. And the other man is about 20 years older than me, but I Love Him Very Much! And I've tried letting him go and getting him out of my life, but everytime I do I feel empty inside and I go after him. But my husband is a good man, and I can't see my life without him either! Someone Please Help!!!!
2006-11-13 04:43:23 · 19 answers · asked by tristeyloca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would never want to hurt my husband and I think about how this will affect both of our futures everyday.
2006-11-13 06:52:12 · update #1
This is a very serious situation. The decisions you make today will play a vital role in everything tht affects you tomorrow. Who can know what you might feel down the road? Be fair in all of your judgements and open and honest. Anything gained while underminding someone else is not a sweet victory. You should seek professional counsel for this situation. Also Remember, sometimes we are in love with the idea of the forbidden. Sometimes it's simply the idea of change that intrigues us. But you are holding hearts in your hand that can be broken for life. Be careful of your next step. Remember too that love is selfless and builds up a person and doesn't destroy someone. This agony you feel doesn't stem from the root of love. True love doesn't agonize. God bless you dear and good luck. Please do get counseling.
2006-11-13 04:50:00 · answer #1 · answered by Catie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The time you spend with the other man is 'amazing' because it is new, and he gives you attention you don't think you're getting from your husband. Does your husband work each day to provide for you? Does he do his share around the house and yard? Is he faithful? THAT is attention; the attention that will last long after the physical attraction is gone. I assume by a 'better life', you mean financially. Money can go in the blink of an eye. The best life is a heart full of love and respect for the person you're with. If you love your husband, be faithful to him. If not, show him the respect he deserves by divorcing him before you continue with this other man.
2006-11-13 05:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by stewarttonyfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the husband is the first choice. Here are some reasons for you to go over:
1) you both made a promise to eachother in front of ppl and God
2) he is a good man
3) he will most likely still be around when you are 70 yrs old
4) you say he's wonderful, which speaks volumes
5) the other man doesn't respect the sanctity of marriage like him
6) the other man may lack respect for you to put you in this bind
Husband, all the way. I wouldn't continue with this other man. Your poor husband!! Can you imagine how it would feel to love someone so much who wasn't faithful to you and continued on like so for 4 yrs?? Do the right thing.
2006-11-13 04:50:44 · answer #3 · answered by carlaerickson 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your husband and keep the other guy. Keep them both happy which should keep you happy. By the way, did your 'other' say at all that he wants you to be with him? If he did not, wake up! He likes it the way it is - You staying in the marriage and both of you leading your lives and still being in love with each other is what he is comfortable with. Make sure your husband never finds out, hurting him is not worth it if he is such a wonderful guy. If you think having two relationships is tough, break up with the 'other' for certain. Give yourself up to your husband completely and make it the relationship you want it to be.
2006-11-13 04:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by happykat 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to be mean , and Im not trying to sound harsh , but womenm like you make me sick. Do you remember what vows you took when you got married? Yeah , and when you decide to marry someone that means you are giving them all your heart , do you understand? That mean that ones you get married your heart closes down , you don't fall in love. You can love many people but you can only be in love with one , you need to re-evaluate your marriageg , and think about what it would mean if you gave your marriage up for this guy , think about what your husband who loves you would feel ike if he knew that his wife was going to leave him for some other dude , personal if i was you I dleave this other guy alone, if you love him so much why didnt he marry you?
2006-11-13 04:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by peachypeach746 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
eenie, meanie, miney, moe....kidding. Know that what you are experiencing is the high of taboo attraction which can masquerade as love. It isn't. You need to see it for what it is. You need to rekindle the love and committment you have with your husband whom you vowed to love for better or worse, till death etc. Attraction is a powerful thing. Don't ruin what you have as you never know when the attraction will wane with Mr. 20yrs older. You need to step outside yourself and examine this objectively or get professional help. It is NOT fair to your husband.
2006-11-13 04:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by Nose 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should stay with the man you made a lifelong commitment with. Your Husband.You should also quit being so damn self centered,and think of someone else for a change instead of your own feelings. You're lucky that you have your husband. I hope he finds out,and dumps you,and you die penniless,and insane.
2006-11-13 04:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by Carl The green's keeper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to grow up. Tell both of these men how you have betrayed them both and take some time to reflect on your morals Give it a few years and find e new man, and be good to him. You obviously don't love either man, because if you did, you wouldn't cheat on weither of them..
2006-11-13 04:46:21 · answer #8 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick with ure husband. The second is lust- yes u havent slept with him, but it seems like the secong guy is giving u something ure husband isnt. But u no wut, ure husband is probably giving u a lot more things than that second guy probably will. Just stick with ure husband and end this asap before u break all 3 hearts...
2006-11-13 04:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do the math...Add 20 years to each. Which one will you be "tied down" to? Try to stay with the one that is more your age.
Sounds to me like you have some unresolved "daddy" issues.
2006-11-13 04:47:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋