My daughter is currently 7 years old. Her father in the begining was apart of her life. Though he didnt pay for anything no diapers no formula no clothes nothing at all. He was more worried about the new video game coming out. I worked went to school and took care of my child. He stepped out of her life at the age of 2. He barely started getting in contact with her and comes in and out when he pleases. He isnt acting like a full time father. I have 3 questions. Would it be right for me to ask he sign over his rights? If he doesnt am i able to get back child support for all those years of no support? Where do i go get either one done?
2006-11-13 04:41:29 · 7 answers · asked by Xenobia P 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Yes if you feel he is doing more damage than good by being involved in her life, you have the right to ask for sole custody. This can be hard to prove, especially if there has never being a court order in place as far as visitation. My opinion, the judge would order specific days for visitation first. If he did not follow the visitation dates, the judge will assume that is basically giving up his parental rights and could order you sole custody. Again, this may take some time.
As for child support, definitely. He will be subject to back child support from the day she was born unless he can prove that he was paying.
You would do both of these by going to your county child support services office and filing child support payment/custody documents. Not hard to fill out and they will assist you in doing them. The more information you have about your daughters dad the better i.e. job information, social security, drivers license, address, etc.
2006-11-13 04:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your child is being abused by her father, I can assure you that asking for his rights to be terminated is a bad idea. It is best for a child to know both their parents, and bear with me because I'll give you an idea of why.
She will eventually come to realize that her father is not a good person. What you need to do, in the meantime, is reassure her that his disinterest has *nothing* to do with her. Refrain from "bashing" him, of course. Do not cut him down or make insulting comments about him. If you do, at some point she may very well believe that the reason he's not around is because of the way you speak about him (she will likely assume that you drove him away with your opinion of him, whether it's true or not).
It's also likely that, barring abuse, the state would *not* allow his rights to be terminated unless there were someone else waiting to adopt her (that's what happened to me - my father terminated his rights, but it was allowed to happen because my stepfather was going to step in and adopt me). The state won't do this because a) they recognize that it's the child's right to know her father and b) they would have no one to go after should you ever apply for public assistance.
With what you've said here, I can't imagine you wouldn't get full custody - but he would likely get visitation (and given that you don't mention any abuse, he probably should).
With regard to back child support: get on it. I hear a lot of moms say they don't "want" money from the father. It's not about what the custodial parent wants - child support is the *child's* right and you need to do everything in your power to make him pay up. You can call Legal Aid in your area if you think you would qualify. You should also call your county or city court or your local council-person to get direction to the right place for that.
The last thing I'll say is this: it's natural for a child to love their parents unconditionally. As they get older, they are better able to decide for themselves if they want the other parent in their life. But your daughter needs this life experience. If you take it away from her, she may resent you. Even if at 7 she says, "I don't want my daddy," she may be just repeating what she thinks you want to hear. Allow her time to grow up understanding what kind of person he is - with you standing beside her giving her unconditional love and support.
I wish you the best.
2006-11-13 12:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a current custody agreement? If not, then the subject is moot. The mother has presumed custody. Just because his name is on the birth certificate does not give him automatic rights.
Is there a court ordered visitation schedule in place? Once again, if not, then the subject is moot.
You cannot collect back child support unless you have a support order. If you established child support years ago and he has never paid, then you can get "back support". It will not be so easy if you do not already have a support order. They may not go back to birth but go from the date of the current support order.
Simplify your life, move and change your names and never have contact with him again. Worked for me!
2006-11-13 13:02:16 · answer #3 · answered by Zelda 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I've been through this same thing with my ex. I don't know what state you live in, but you need to find out what the laws are regarding custody in your particular state.
As for child support, call your local social services and ask for an appointment with the child support enforcement officer. These people can have his wages garnished to pay you child support. Depending on what state you live in, your ex can be thrown in jail for not paying his support and not be able to get out until he pays up. You need to do this asap if your looking for support.
If you really just want sole custody and don't really want his support. You could possibly have his parental rights terminated. I know that in my state (nc) this would take 12 months of no contact with my child to do and you can go through social services to do this.
If you get a lawyer and go to court for sole custody and he decides he wants to fight, it is most likely that he will get some type of vistation. I've been told by several attorneys that even if the parent is an axe murderer he will still be entitled to some type of visitation at least supervised.
If he isn't interested in supporting your child, here's a plan. Get to the child support enforcement and get something going to get child support going. If he doesn't pay, the amount will keep adding up. If your state laws are like NC law, he will get thrown in jail. You can make him an offer to waive the child support so long as he signs away his rights. This could be a possibility for you so long as he isn't interested in helping you support your child.
Hope this helps! You can find lots of sources online including forms to help you file for custody. My source includes one website that could help.
2006-11-13 13:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by Christina L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely can get all back child support since the date of her birth. Open a case at your local child support office; there should be a state or county run facility available (no charge to you). They can help with all the child support issues, however, not many can address custody. For that, contact a family law attorney.
2006-11-13 12:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by A.C.Girl 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
1-Yes it would be right to do that, but I would caution you to think about this very carefully
2-That depends on whether there was a child support order as a court won't make him pay for the times that there wasn't one
3-Contact your local department of social services for the child support
4-to terminate rights, you should probably consult an attorney
2006-11-13 12:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by Hestia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any child support orders now? What about custody papers?
I have heard of people getting back child support...if he's not a bad person - I'd encourage him to be more involved.
2006-11-13 12:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋